Would you marry someone with a chronic illness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

Can't handle the drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

Can't handle the drama

And it surprises me not even a little that your friend with fibromyalgia destroyed a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

Can't handle the drama

And it surprises me not even a little that your friend with fibromyalgia destroyed a marriage.

It's not a real disease, neither is chronic Lyme disease.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did the mental health version of this, now let's talk physical illnesses. Diabetes, fibromyalgia, MS, Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, arthritis etc.

My daughter is 15 and has Crohn's and I often wonder if that will hold her back if/when she decides to start dating seriously/settle down with someone.

Yes, I married my DH after his psoriatic arthritis diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

My husband did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

Can't handle the drama

And it surprises me not even a little that your friend with fibromyalgia destroyed a marriage.

It's not a real disease, neither is chronic Lyme disease.

She's married to a physician (not hers) and he believes her so I guess that's what matters. They aren't American and I think that the prejudices against these type of "invisible illnesses" are less in other countries.

She's also not dramatic. I knew her for years before finding out about her condition and she was actually pretty low key about it even when I found out.

As to his marriage, he was the one who made vows he couldn't keep.

[Anonymous]

I am the 00:00 PP. The divorce rate for people with chronic diseases is very high. This doesn't surprise me because to the extent a marriage has any issues at all, they are exacerbated by the stress, cost, and overall difficulties in dealing with a disabled spouse's needs and emotions. It is completely exhausting and depleting.

Truly, I hope my kids never go down this path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am caretaker to DW, who is battling Stage IV cancer. She was diagnosed a little less than two years ago and it has been a rough road. The caretaker role is a difficult one and makes me think a lot about the "for better or for worse" part of our marriage vows. I take a lot of pride in helping her through this difficult time and I think our love has grown. But dealing with this 20 years into a marriage is a lot different than going into a new relationship and being aware of chronic illness. The reality of dealing with this is a lot different than in a Lifetime movie. The emotional and financial toll can be severe on both the patient and caretaker. It makes me really appreciate the times when we were both in good health, which we definitely took for granted.

Thank you for your honest and thoughtful post. Being in a similar position, it helped me today.

[Anonymous]

I did, so yes.

[Anonymous]

It would really depend on ones ability to control it and treat it plus the ability to have children and it's possible effect on them. If the outlook was very grim on those issues I would not marry the person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

Can't handle the drama

And it surprises me not even a little that your friend with fibromyalgia destroyed a marriage.

It's not a real disease, neither is chronic Lyme disease.

Yeah. I always thought fibromyalgia was the diagnosis given to people who wouldn't stop pestering their doctors about every little ache and pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

Can't handle the drama

And it surprises me not even a little that your friend with fibromyalgia destroyed a marriage.

It's not a real disease, neither is chronic Lyme disease.

She's married to a physician (not hers) and he believes her so I guess that's what matters. They aren't American and I think that the prejudices against these type of "invisible illnesses" are less in other countries.

She's also not dramatic. I knew her for years before finding out about her condition and she was actually pretty low key about it even when I found out.

As to his marriage, he was the one who made vows he couldn't keep.

Boy does she have the wool pulled over your eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

That's not something to be proud of and it's a little sad that you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not fibromyalgia.

Why not? I don't have it, but my friend does. Her DH actually left his first wife for her!

That's not something to be proud of and it's a little sad that you think it is.

One can state a fact without being proud of it, but clearly this touches a nerve for you.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, there's some truly disgusting responses in this thread. Between the person saying it is the sick spouses responsibility to limit the stress of their illness on the relationship and the person critical of their wife with stage 4 cancer, those responses say enough about the type of people responding to this thread.

My wife has a chronic illness and I knew early on in the relationship about it and I still knew that she was the one who I would marry. I loved everything about her. As an able bodied person, yes it took some learning to understand her illness and what she could and could not do. But I made sure to learn because I loved her and I would do anything for her. If you truly love someone, you do not let an illness stop that. You stand with your spouse and fight alongside of them because you are in this together. Sometimes that means taking on extra responsibilities. But you do that because of the love and bond you share in the relationship.