Advice on our family's religious situation (Catholic)

[Anonymous]

This is from memory, I may have the name wrong. Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults.

Many Catholic parishes will take you at the point in your journey you are and over a period of time mentor you about Catholicism.

Perhaps take a trip out Route 7 to Holy Cross Abbey in Berryville to soak up what a working Trappist monastery is like. Speak to some of the priests or brothers to get a take on Catholicism you won't find in a parish.

They have over night stays for visiting men, visiting women, and married couples.

virginiatrappists.org

[Anonymous]

Another reason you may want to join parish is that you might want to have the baptism for your kids only. Many of the churches around here do x # of baptisms per year and while they have it down to a science - it is kind of assembly line. We had to do classes ahead of (actually I think only one) and it was our twins and 10 other babies but I have been to some where families have 2 or 3 kids all getting baptized along with usual aged babies. This was NW DC church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Our older son is at the age where he could get confirmed and he's done 8 years of CCD/Sunday school... but the rules for confirmation at our parish are insanely strict. He would need an adult sponsor who is a Catholic and is not "living in sin" or married to a non-Catholic, can produce a letter of good faith from his/her own parish, etc. ALso we needed to sign up a year in advance, do service projects and a retreat, etc etc. It's so onerous that I almost think they don't want to have confirmed Catholics anymore.

This was the final straw for me leaving Catholicism. Insane headache trying to figure out who could be DC's sponsor. Do we think Christ came up with all these crazy rules? So glad I said Buh-bye Vatican! (Protestant now)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Our older son is at the age where he could get confirmed and he's done 8 years of CCD/Sunday school... but the rules for confirmation at our parish are insanely strict. He would need an adult sponsor who is a Catholic and is not "living in sin" or married to a non-Catholic, can produce a letter of good faith from his/her own parish, etc. ALso we needed to sign up a year in advance, do service projects and a retreat, etc etc. It's so onerous that I almost think they don't want to have confirmed Catholics anymore.

This was the final straw for me leaving Catholicism. Insane headache trying to figure out who could be DC's sponsor. Do we think Christ came up with all these crazy rules? So glad I said Buh-bye Vatican! (Protestant now)

Just FYI, one thing Catholics do streamline is adult confirmation. After RCIA you can be baptised and confirmed at the same time. I just got baptized in The Episcopal Church, but I'm not confirmed, and I'm imagining this experience down the line where there is me (40-something) and a bunch of teenagers

That all being said, OP, choosing a religion is a big deal and I encourage you to look into other denominations, just for yourself. Maybe after that you will realize you really are Catholic, and you'll feel more confident. But for me, The Episcopal Church, one of the reasons I knew it was right for me was that I was given a book of common prayer early and told the church was united on prayer, not on creed. In other words, you don't need to necessarily believe x,y, and z. You just have to want to pray these prayers in community. I do believe, but I gotta be honest, not every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Our older son is at the age where he could get confirmed and he's done 8 years of CCD/Sunday school... but the rules for confirmation at our parish are insanely strict. He would need an adult sponsor who is a Catholic and is not "living in sin" or married to a non-Catholic, can produce a letter of good faith from his/her own parish, etc. ALso we needed to sign up a year in advance, do service projects and a retreat, etc etc. It's so onerous that I almost think they don't want to have confirmed Catholics anymore.

This was the final straw for me leaving Catholicism. Insane headache trying to figure out who could be DC's sponsor. Do we think Christ came up with all these crazy rules? So glad I said Buh-bye Vatican! (Protestant now)

Obviously you already made the decision, but can I offer an alternative way of viewing those restrictions? Confirmation is the sacrament in which that person chooses for themselves to live as a Catholic, I think of it as the follow-up to the infant baptism where the parents said that they will raise the child Catholic. The multiple steps and requirements are part of a process of ensuring this young person is truly making this decision, not just showing up at church in fancy clothes one day to participate in a ceremony because they have to. There's a lot to it because it's a big deal and they want that young person to have done the studying and thinking and reflecting so that it's a conscious choice.

Just a thought.

[Anonymous]

These "rules" are man's, not God's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These "rules" are man's, not God's.

Yes, but rather than continue the cycle of lapsed Catholics, why not help these young people on a journey towards choosing to continue in the faith rather than just going through the motions? It's a more thoughtful and reflective approach to the sacrament, rather than a check the block activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Our older son is at the age where he could get confirmed and he's done 8 years of CCD/Sunday school... but the rules for confirmation at our parish are insanely strict. He would need an adult sponsor who is a Catholic and is not "living in sin" or married to a non-Catholic, can produce a letter of good faith from his/her own parish, etc. ALso we needed to sign up a year in advance, do service projects and a retreat, etc etc. It's so onerous that I almost think they don't want to have confirmed Catholics anymore.

This was the final straw for me leaving Catholicism. Insane headache trying to figure out who could be DC's sponsor. Do we think Christ came up with all these crazy rules? So glad I said Buh-bye Vatican! (Protestant now)

Because finding just one person to use as a role model in faith is asking too much?
I actually lobbied my parish to tighten up the requirements for Confirmation because most kids take zero responsibility for making it an educated decision rather than a quest for a gift from their devout grandparents.

[Anonymous]

^ My role model is Christ himself. I'm a former Catholic; Catholics are too far removed from the important stuff because they are weighed down with all your silly rules and tightened restrictions. Have fun with that, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^ My role model is Christ himself. I'm a former Catholic; Catholics are too far removed from the important stuff because they are weighed down with all your silly rules and tightened restrictions. Have fun with that, though.

Hmmm, not exactly a charitable and loving Christ-like statement. So much for emulating your role model!

[Anonymous]

I would catch a priest after mass one day and ask if they had a few minutes. I have found calling the church - you get an administrative person or you might get assigned to someone with the most availability.

You know your parish as you attend mass there frequently. You clearly feel welcome there. Go have a conversation and ask them to help you create a path for you and your family.