Why I hate doing certain things with the family....

[Anonymous]

I'm this wife... I hate the crowds at the end of events. FWIW, I do this at the concerts I have picked out and events I want to go to, barring play off games or something really spectacular. I just have anxiety in really large crowds. I try to respect my husband and if the game is tight we stay and stand in the aisle behind all the seats in our section. If it's a landslide we basically do the same thing, but creep closer to the exit and watch the TVs in the concourses. I am much better after my husband had a conversation with me about being a Debbie Downer at ball games. Now I try to get into it and he brings me a bag of peanuts to keep me occupied. Ha!

[Anonymous]

a couple of adults ought to be able to work this one out, OP.

(at some level, I'm not buying that she "always" does this but that could be my biases. I know whenever my spouse tells me something I "always" do wrong, he's just grumpy about a recent incident and remembered that it happened once before. it's never this! he's the one who always wants to leave early.)

it sounds like: your wife came up with something nice and fun to do together, it totally didn't work out because of a dumb non-rain rain delay, and she wanted to leave instead of wait and watch baseball half the night. well, reasonable people can differ on whether leaving makes more sense on that particular day. but if you really wanted to stay, it seems like you could have "insisted" as well as she. you could have come up with some way to accommodate her desire to leave. it's not clear from your post why she didn't want her and the kid to leave? but if she doesn't want to drive, offer to call her an uber. if she doesn't want to deal with kid by herself or something, offer to give her the morning shift off if you can stay at the ballgame. or in light of the shitty decisionmaking by natspark, you could just chalk this one up to a loss without kvetching on the internets

next time one of you comes up with an outing, say "wonderful, what a good idea. I'd love to go, but only if I can stay for the whole thing." if she says, "eh, I'd rather not go", then you either (1) compromise on a leaving time; or ((2) make a plan for leaving separately; (3) go without her; or (4) don't go. Make a plan ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Are you cancer guy? The DD seems to be right age. If so, get a divorce already!

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if your wife let's you "finish" or aborts the operation...if you know what I mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm this wife... I hate the crowds at the end of events. FWIW, I do this at the concerts I have picked out and events I want to go to, barring play off games or something really spectacular. I just have anxiety in really large crowds. I try to respect my husband and if the game is tight we stay and stand in the aisle behind all the seats in our section. If it's a landslide we basically do the same thing, but creep closer to the exit and watch the TVs in the concourses. I am much better after my husband had a conversation with me about being a Debbie Downer at ball games. Now I try to get into it and he brings me a bag of peanuts to keep me occupied. Ha!

Why the hell don't you just leave early, or not go? Do you have anxiety about being alone, or going home alone too? If so, maybe therapy and meds would help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm this wife... I hate the crowds at the end of events. FWIW, I do this at the concerts I have picked out and events I want to go to, barring play off games or something really spectacular. I just have anxiety in really large crowds. I try to respect my husband and if the game is tight we stay and stand in the aisle behind all the seats in our section. If it's a landslide we basically do the same thing, but creep closer to the exit and watch the TVs in the concourses. I am much better after my husband had a conversation with me about being a Debbie Downer at ball games. Now I try to get into it and he brings me a bag of peanuts to keep me occupied. Ha!

Why the hell don't you just leave early, or not go? Do you have anxiety about being alone, or going home alone too? If so, maybe therapy and meds would help?

Well, I like going and I also want to stay so my husband enjoys as much of it as possible. I do not have anxiety about being home alone or walking alone. I don't need therapy or meds. I just hate feeling like cattle walking in a mass of people to the train after a game. I prefer to jump the gun a bit and not feel like I'm in a mosh pit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm this wife... I hate the crowds at the end of events. FWIW, I do this at the concerts I have picked out and events I want to go to, barring play off games or something really spectacular. I just have anxiety in really large crowds. I try to respect my husband and if the game is tight we stay and stand in the aisle behind all the seats in our section. If it's a landslide we basically do the same thing, but creep closer to the exit and watch the TVs in the concourses. I am much better after my husband had a conversation with me about being a Debbie Downer at ball games. Now I try to get into it and he brings me a bag of peanuts to keep me occupied. Ha!

Why the hell don't you just leave early, or not go? Do you have anxiety about being alone, or going home alone too? If so, maybe therapy and meds would help?

Well, I like going and I also want to stay so my husband enjoys as much of it as possible. I do not have anxiety about being home alone or walking alone. I don't need therapy or meds. I just hate feeling like cattle walking in a mass of people to the train after a game. I prefer to jump the gun a bit and not feel like I'm in a mosh pit.

So leave early and let your husband come home alone later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm this wife... I hate the crowds at the end of events. FWIW, I do this at the concerts I have picked out and events I want to go to, barring play off games or something really spectacular. I just have anxiety in really large crowds. I try to respect my husband and if the game is tight we stay and stand in the aisle behind all the seats in our section. If it's a landslide we basically do the same thing, but creep closer to the exit and watch the TVs in the concourses. I am much better after my husband had a conversation with me about being a Debbie Downer at ball games. Now I try to get into it and he brings me a bag of peanuts to keep me occupied. Ha!

Why the hell don't you just leave early, or not go? Do you have anxiety about being alone, or going home alone too? If so, maybe therapy and meds would help?

Well, I like going and I also want to stay so my husband enjoys as much of it as possible. I do not have anxiety about being home alone or walking alone. I don't need therapy or meds. I just hate feeling like cattle walking in a mass of people to the train after a game. I prefer to jump the gun a bit and not feel like I'm in a mosh pit.

So leave early and let your husband come home alone later.

NP. Why complicate things? PP said that she doesn't like crowds, so she like to leave a little before the end. PP's spouse said that it bums him out that PP is a debbie downer at games. PP took that to heart and tries to accommodate her spouse. To many people, me included, it wouldn't be worth it to pay an extra $25 for a cab just to see an additional inning of baseball even though I really enjoy baseball. I'm happy to arrive and leave with my spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm this wife... I hate the crowds at the end of events. FWIW, I do this at the concerts I have picked out and events I want to go to, barring play off games or something really spectacular. I just have anxiety in really large crowds. I try to respect my husband and if the game is tight we stay and stand in the aisle behind all the seats in our section. If it's a landslide we basically do the same thing, but creep closer to the exit and watch the TVs in the concourses. I am much better after my husband had a conversation with me about being a Debbie Downer at ball games. Now I try to get into it and he brings me a bag of peanuts to keep me occupied. Ha!

Why the hell don't you just leave early, or not go? Do you have anxiety about being alone, or going home alone too? If so, maybe therapy and meds would help?

Well, I like going and I also want to stay so my husband enjoys as much of it as possible. I do not have anxiety about being home alone or walking alone. I don't need therapy or meds. I just hate feeling like cattle walking in a mass of people to the train after a game. I prefer to jump the gun a bit and not feel like I'm in a mosh pit.

So leave early and let your husband come home alone later.

NP. Why complicate things? PP said that she doesn't like crowds, so she like to leave a little before the end. PP's spouse said that it bums him out that PP is a debbie downer at games. PP took that to heart and tries to accommodate her spouse. To many people, me included, it wouldn't be worth it to pay an extra $25 for a cab just to see an additional inning of baseball even though I really enjoy baseball. I'm happy to arrive and leave with my spouse.

Of course. It depends on the couple. For me, I'd much rather spend money on a cab than have to compromise.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I came here to vent. I knew going in, she would not want to stay for the whole game -- even without the delay. We have been through this before. On the plus side, she wanted to share it as a family outing. A 2 hour outing. Except the game rarely only lasts two hours.

Because of this, I usually go alone or with friends; I get to 10 or so games a year. So, perhaps, this is an example of taking one for the team. (If we had gone to last night's game, she would have wanted to leave before the Nats came back and won. This has happened before).

I often think she just wants things she can post on Facebook to keep up appearances. I want the actual experiences...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I came here to vent. I knew going in, she would not want to stay for the whole game -- even without the delay. We have been through this before. On the plus side, she wanted to share it as a family outing. A 2 hour outing. Except the game rarely only lasts two hours.

Because of this, I usually go alone or with friends; I get to 10 or so games a year. So, perhaps, this is an example of taking one for the team. (If we had gone to last night's game, she would have wanted to leave before the Nats came back and won. This has happened before).

I often think she just wants things she can post on Facebook to keep up appearances. I want the actual experiences...

Sorry OP. Frustrating. Thanks for taking one for the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I came here to vent. I knew going in, she would not want to stay for the whole game -- even without the delay. We have been through this before. On the plus side, she wanted to share it as a family outing. A 2 hour outing. Except the game rarely only lasts two hours.

Because of this, I usually go alone or with friends; I get to 10 or so games a year. So, perhaps, this is an example of taking one for the team. (If we had gone to last night's game, she would have wanted to leave before the Nats came back and won. This has happened before).

I often think she just wants things she can post on Facebook to keep up appearances. I want the actual experiences...

Should I ask about the last time you had sex??? because I'm thinking you aren't if she really is that kind of wife.

[Anonymous]

You hate your wife and trust me, she knows it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She "makes" you leave early?
If you let her do this and then complain, can you think of the obvious solution, which is to stand firm?

Then she'll probably just pout and make the rest of the game a miserable experience for him anyway. Do you not get that?

+1. My dh can't handle being in one place for long. It's a drag because he makes it out like I'm keeping him from much more important things. Sometimes I stand my ground, and yes, it sucks for the rest of the activity.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't have a backbone, we can't help you.