I feel like some non-AAP parents are starting to snub me because we are switching schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For an incremental difference in instruction, AAP wreaks havoc on relationships

If AAP wreaks havoc on your relationships, it wasn't a real relationship to begin with. Be glad.

No it is true. I'm not PP and have one in center, one not. The parents at the center don't want to be friends or facilitate their children making new friendships once they're in 3rd. And then you drift from the friends you left behind. No one talks about it but it sucks. I am considering bringing my DD back to a less challenging environment so she will have the "neighborhood" care back.

At our base new kids are welcomed and almost fought over because everyone wants to meet and get to know them. At a center you are just a visitor.

I realize this is my experience, but I don't think I"m alone.

I totally agree with this! We had one at a center and this was my experience. However, our other one didn't go to the center and didn't get into AAP. Our base school started local level iv. Interestingly, most of my friends' kids got into AAP and all of a sudden, they stopped including us in things. So I got the fun of being left out at the center and then again at my bas school by not being in local level iv.

Have you ever thought it might be you or your kid? I had kids stay at base and go to center and somehow friendships survived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For an incremental difference in instruction, AAP wreaks havoc on relationships

If AAP wreaks havoc on your relationships, it wasn't a real relationship to begin with. Be glad.

No it is true. I'm not PP and have one in center, one not. The parents at the center don't want to be friends or facilitate their children making new friendships once they're in 3rd. And then you drift from the friends you left behind. No one talks about it but it sucks. I am considering bringing my DD back to a less challenging environment so she will have the "neighborhood" care back.

At our base new kids are welcomed and almost fought over because everyone wants to meet and get to know them. At a center you are just a visitor.

I realize this is my experience, but I don't think I"m alone.

I totally agree with this! We had one at a center and this was my experience. However, our other one didn't go to the center and didn't get into AAP. Our base school started local level iv. Interestingly, most of my friends' kids got into AAP and all of a sudden, they stopped including us in things. So I got the fun of being left out at the center and then again at my bas school by not being in local level iv.

Have you ever thought it might be you or your kid? I had kids stay at base and go to center and somehow friendships survived.

Perhaps. But with the tone of your response, I wonder how your friendships survived.

[Anonymous]

I think the point was more that if every single one of them had suddenly dropped you, maybe it wasn't about AAP at all. It's a legitimate point, even if phrased very directly. The chance that someone with solid friendships/kid-playdate acquaintanceships loses every single one of those connections doesn't say AAP, it says that there's something bigger going on. I don't mean that rudely -- people outgrow each other and grow apart, and that's part of life. But blaming it on AAP alone comes across as a just-jealous sort of thing when maybe a deeper look or reaching out yourself to initiate playdates and outings would be more helpful.

[Anonymous]

Lots of reasons:

different schedules
different activities
common interests

Kids frequently change friends from year to year.

Did you make the effort? Did kid brag about being smarter than everyone else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the point was more that if every single one of them had suddenly dropped you, maybe it wasn't about AAP at all. It's a legitimate point, even if phrased very directly. The chance that someone with solid friendships/kid-playdate acquaintanceships loses every single one of those connections doesn't say AAP, it says that there's something bigger going on. I don't mean that rudely -- people outgrow each other and grow apart, and that's part of life. But blaming it on AAP alone comes across as a just-jealous sort of thing when maybe a deeper look or reaching out yourself to initiate playdates and outings would be more helpful.

OP here. I think it was just 1 mom that did this. DS has one good friend who did not get in and mom was very open about disappointment. We've had a play date since and friendship should survive. Another friend who never mentioned AAP is moving. They are military. Handful of friends will be going to the center. Some others are staying at base. Everything fine now.