How much "maintenance" on your appearance do you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes feel seriously exhausted with all the work it takes for me to look half decent. DH insists I "look good" without makeup and in sweatpants but I don't feel that way. I get regular manicures and pedicures, facial hair removal, color my hair, keep my weight below a certain threshold, invest in a good wardrobe. On top of that I do skin treatments and have a good skincare regimen. I style my hair on a daily basis and wear makeup every single day day.

I wish I could be a low maintenance woman, but I don't believe I have the natural beauty to pull this off. I hate that I feel uncomfortable in jeans and a ponytail. Even when I am put together, it never feels good enough.

First of all, I'm sure that your husband appreciates the work that you do to look the way you want to look. I also think it's great that he likes the way you look without that stuff. It sounds like you've got a good man there!

For my part, I color my hair. I cut it in a way that is flattering to my face shape. I wear clothing that are flattering to my body and do my best to keep my body toned and fit. On a daily basis, I style my hair and wear makeup. My hair styling routine is fairly simple and mostly an every-other-day thing, and my makeup routine takes <10 minutes start to finish.

I think it's totally possible to look polished in jeans and a ponytail - if they are the right jeans and the ponytail is accompanied by an otherwise polished look. You could simplify your makeup routine, too, but really, you just wear what you feel like you need to wear to feel good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

I always have trouble with people saying they work 60-70 hours/wk with multiple small children, then implying that they are home every night and have weekends off. When, exactly, are you working and taking care of kids? At some point, you are just lying. 60+ hours/wk with evenings and weekends off and still cooking from scratch and taking care of kids is what? Getting up at 3:30am, leaving at 4:00am, getting to work at 4:30 am, working until, what, 5pm? Then coming home at 6pm, cooking dinner, feeding kids, bath, story, bed at 8pm, then clean up, bottle prep for daycare, working out, and to bed at what, 10pm at the earliest.

Come on, either you don't actually work 60+ hours/wk, you are lying about having hours to yourself on the weekends and evenings to do whatever you want, you only need to sleep four hours a night, or you have some very significant help with housework and childcare outside of your working hours, either from a spouse or housekeeper/nanny. If that's what it is, just say so. "I am able to do this because my husband is a SAHD and takes care of everything at home," or "I have an amazing nanny who is able to take care of three kids and get most of the housework done so I don't have to worry about it," or "I am one of those people who only needs to sleep 5 hours/night, so I have time to work out and get facials."

Don't say "oh, it doesn't take that much time, anyone can do it."

She's right though. It doesn't have to take that much time. And you're projecting, throwing in the cooking bits. She's talking about 5-10 minutes in the morning and 1.5 hours on weekends. That's not a lot of time. If you can't afford 5 minutes in the morning, you're doing something wrong. If you choose not to, that's fine, but it doesn't make the people who do spend those 5 minutes maintaining their appearance liars.

If you're too busy to spend 5 minutes in the morning on make up and 30 minutes in the evening going for a jog or hopping on a treadmill, what are you doing with your time that's so important?

I didn't say I was too busy. I said that the pp was lying about either her work hours, her children, or both.

PP here, and literally screw you for saying that I'm lying. I have no nanny, a marginally helpful DH, and normal kids.

Work hours Monday through Friday - 8:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. With 30 minutes for lunch, goofing off, etc., that is around 45 hours a week. Since having kids, I don't do a ton of work "socializing," so when I'm working, I'm working. I also work on the metro after dropping the kids at school and daycare, which brings me up close to 50.

I never "implied" that I have evenings and all weekends off, nor that I cook from scratch. (I never mentioned time off or food once, so you're projecting a lot here, and might want to reflect a bit on why you're so defensive.) In the evenings, all kids are in bed at 8:30, then I spend 30 minutes working out, and then I work for another 1.5-2 hours a day every day but Friday. For this, I try to save more "mindless" work, like billing and paperwork, so that I can carry on a conversation with DH or have TV On in the background. That brings me to 55+ hours. I do the rest here and there on the weekends.

On Friday, I really live it up clean the house top to bottom and let the kids veg out and do nothing (no homework, etc.), and I order takeout. I also get up 30 minutes before everyone else in the morning so that I can wipe the counters, clean up messes, load the dishwasher, etc.

I still have time to spend 1.5 guilt-free hours on the weekend taking care of myself. The weekdays are a grind, and I'm always moving, but it is important to me to spend a whopping 2.5 hours a week on exercise and a stunning 2.5 hours a week on keeping up my appearance.

Now apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get my hair done weekly. Eyebrow threading. Pedicures every three weeks. Dress well. I like looking nice and my guy appreciates it as well.

What does this involve? Not being snarky, I just don't know what my hairdresser would do with my hair on a weekly basis.

[Anonymous]

OP, why style your hair & put on make every single day? You don't have an off-day on the weekends just hanging out with family. I think clean & combed hair is enough - does it have to be styled to grocery shop? And you say you have a good skincare routine - I find with good skincare and good sleep, I don't need make up everyday.

To your question:
Skin routine is somewhat elaborate but that's just what I need to not breakout or have large pores.
Hair - wash every other day, combed everyday. I get complimented on my hair often, so thankfully this is one area where I spend less effort.
Gel manicures every two weeks
Exercise: 20 mins of walking M-F w commute, crunches a few times a week
Diet: calorie counting periodically, otherwise just trying to eat well
Clothes need an upgrade though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes feel seriously exhausted with all the work it takes for me to look half decent. DH insists I "look good" without makeup and in sweatpants but I don't feel that way. I get regular manicures and pedicures, facial hair removal, color my hair, keep my weight below a certain threshold, invest in a good wardrobe. On top of that I do skin treatments and have a good skincare regimen. I style my hair on a daily basis and wear makeup every single day day.

I wish I could be a low maintenance woman, but I don't believe I have the natural beauty to pull this off. I hate that I feel uncomfortable in jeans and a ponytail. Even when I am put together, it never feels good enough.

I am the opposite, I feel uncomfortable in make up and manicures last about 12 hours on me. I exercise, take showers, put lotion on, have hair cuts every 3 months or so and pedicures about 3x a year. I have never been called a beauty (except by my fantastic DH) natural or otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:General Health/weight: eat healthy and exercise most days
Skin Care: wash face, use moisturizer when skin feels dry
Hair: get it cut a few times a year, brush daily, very occasionally put in ponytail or style in some way
Clothes: Wear clothes daily
Hair Removal: Shave underarms when needed. Legs when it's too hot for pants.
Nails: Paint myself when I feel like it. Usually they are half painted.
Make up: Wear it when I feel like it... maybe once a week.

Does this really need saying? Gosh, how unkempt must one be not to even brush one's hair daily? (Unless one has the kind of hair that doesn't allow for brushing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

Me too. When I was childless, I used to enjoy fancy hair colors and manicures, but now there are just so many things I'd rather do with that time. Just sitting there is so dull.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:General Health/weight: eat healthy and exercise most days
Skin Care: wash face, use moisturizer when skin feels dry
Hair: get it cut a few times a year, brush daily, very occasionally put in ponytail or style in some way
Clothes: Wear clothes daily
Hair Removal: Shave underarms when needed. Legs when it's too hot for pants.
Nails: Paint myself when I feel like it. Usually they are half painted.
Make up: Wear it when I feel like it... maybe once a week.

Does this really need saying? Gosh, how unkempt must one be not to even brush one's hair daily? (Unless one has the kind of hair that doesn't allow for brushing).

I have curly hair and don't own a hairbrush. Imagine a life other than your own.

[Anonymous]

Focus on maintaining your weight.
All those other things can be done on an as-needed (and when-possible) basis and you'll look great.
None of the other stuff even matters if you've gained a bunch of weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you people have time for all this upkeep? I work FT and hardly have time for a pedicure, highlights and a haircut every 3 months.

+1. I work FT, have a Ph.D. in an area I'm passionate about, and am a parent of a young kid and we have no family in the area. I'm pretty low maintenance. Sure appearance has some importance and I like to look nice sometimes, but it isn't central to my identity. I've had a manicure twice ever. Don't really wear lipstick that often. Haircut about every 3 months. Got very subtle highlights a couple months ago--first time in years. Never wear other makeup, and never have. Exercise is important, and I get regular exercise to stay healthy, but worrying about appearance is just not a priority.

With that PhD, you understand that different people have different priorities, right? (Mostly kidding, ) I have three small kids and work 60+ hours a week. I spend 5-10 minutes applying make-up every morning and aim to do maybe 1.5 hours out of the house doing something "for me" on the weekend, which in a rotation covers highlights, mani/pedi, facials, etc. I work out after the kids go to bed. It isn't really all that time-consuming and it makes me feel pulled together.

I always have trouble with people saying they work 60-70 hours/wk with multiple small children, then implying that they are home every night and have weekends off. When, exactly, are you working and taking care of kids? At some point, you are just lying. 60+ hours/wk with evenings and weekends off and still cooking from scratch and taking care of kids is what? Getting up at 3:30am, leaving at 4:00am, getting to work at 4:30 am, working until, what, 5pm? Then coming home at 6pm, cooking dinner, feeding kids, bath, story, bed at 8pm, then clean up, bottle prep for daycare, working out, and to bed at what, 10pm at the earliest.

Come on, either you don't actually work 60+ hours/wk, you are lying about having hours to yourself on the weekends and evenings to do whatever you want, you only need to sleep four hours a night, or you have some very significant help with housework and childcare outside of your working hours, either from a spouse or housekeeper/nanny. If that's what it is, just say so. "I am able to do this because my husband is a SAHD and takes care of everything at home," or "I have an amazing nanny who is able to take care of three kids and get most of the housework done so I don't have to worry about it," or "I am one of those people who only needs to sleep 5 hours/night, so I have time to work out and get facials."

Don't say "oh, it doesn't take that much time, anyone can do it."

She's right though. It doesn't have to take that much time. And you're projecting, throwing in the cooking bits. She's talking about 5-10 minutes in the morning and 1.5 hours on weekends. That's not a lot of time. If you can't afford 5 minutes in the morning, you're doing something wrong. If you choose not to, that's fine, but it doesn't make the people who do spend those 5 minutes maintaining their appearance liars.

If you're too busy to spend 5 minutes in the morning on make up and 30 minutes in the evening going for a jog or hopping on a treadmill, what are you doing with your time that's so important?

I didn't say I was too busy. I said that the pp was lying about either her work hours, her children, or both.

PP here, and literally screw you for saying that I'm lying. I have no nanny, a marginally helpful DH, and normal kids.

Work hours Monday through Friday - 8:00 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. With 30 minutes for lunch, goofing off, etc., that is around 45 hours a week. Since having kids, I don't do a ton of work "socializing," so when I'm working, I'm working. I also work on the metro after dropping the kids at school and daycare, which brings me up close to 50.

I never "implied" that I have evenings and all weekends off, nor that I cook from scratch. (I never mentioned time off or food once, so you're projecting a lot here, and might want to reflect a bit on why you're so defensive.) In the evenings, all kids are in bed at 8:30, then I spend 30 minutes working out, and then I work for another 1.5-2 hours a day every day but Friday. For this, I try to save more "mindless" work, like billing and paperwork, so that I can carry on a conversation with DH or have TV On in the background. That brings me to 55+ hours. I do the rest here and there on the weekends.

On Friday, I really live it up clean the house top to bottom and let the kids veg out and do nothing (no homework, etc.), and I order takeout. I also get up 30 minutes before everyone else in the morning so that I can wipe the counters, clean up messes, load the dishwasher, etc.

I still have time to spend 1.5 guilt-free hours on the weekend taking care of myself. The weekdays are a grind, and I'm always moving, but it is important to me to spend a whopping 2.5 hours a week on exercise and a stunning 2.5 hours a week on keeping up my appearance.

Now apologize.

Dude, if your kids have homework, they aren't small. And I love that you count watching tv and riding the metro as work/

[Anonymous]

People will prioritize their free time how they want, and people will make time for things that they care about. If you choose to spend your lunch breaks in work meetings or running errands, that's fine for you. If someone else chooses to spend her lunch breaks at the gym or getting her hair done, that's fine for her.

I work in an office from 8:30-5 M-F. I don't work evenings or weekends. I know that doesn't apply to everyone, but I also think that many of you work longer hours because you choose to, which is why it always reads as offensive when you criticize other people's activities and priorities. You wouldn't like it if someone suggested that you were a bad parent for spending so much time working. Maybe try not to denigrate other people's choices so much.

In keeping with the subject of this thread, it's not an attractive look, though I'm sure that since so many of you have PhDs that you're very proud of, you do not care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:General Health/weight: eat healthy and exercise most days
Skin Care: wash face, use moisturizer when skin feels dry
Hair: get it cut a few times a year, brush daily, very occasionally put in ponytail or style in some way
Clothes: Wear clothes daily
Hair Removal: Shave underarms when needed. Legs when it's too hot for pants.
Nails: Paint myself when I feel like it. Usually they are half painted.
Make up: Wear it when I feel like it... maybe once a week.

Does this really need saying? Gosh, how unkempt must one be not to even brush one's hair daily? (Unless one has the kind of hair that doesn't allow for brushing).

I had the same thought but this person also mentioned that they shave their underarms when needed - duh!?! - and leaves nails half painted, which is hideous. And I'm not high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:General Health/weight: eat healthy and exercise most days
Skin Care: wash face, use moisturizer when skin feels dry
Hair: get it cut a few times a year, brush daily, very occasionally put in ponytail or style in some way
Clothes: Wear clothes daily
Hair Removal: Shave underarms when needed. Legs when it's too hot for pants.
Nails: Paint myself when I feel like it. Usually they are half painted.
Make up: Wear it when I feel like it... maybe once a week.

Does this really need saying? Gosh, how unkempt must one be not to even brush one's hair daily? (Unless one has the kind of hair that doesn't allow for brushing).

I had the same thought but this person also mentioned that they shave their underarms when needed - duh!?! - and leaves nails half painted, which is hideous. And I'm not high maintenance.

Maybe people will think it's hideous that you don't get weekly manicures and highlights every 6 weeks on the dot.

As for daily brushing, clearly you are a white person with straight hair if you think that it's necessary for all people to brush their hair every day or look hideous and unkempt.

[Anonymous]

OMG! LOTS and LOTS of maintainence.

Older woman (50+), limited budget and time. I have weekend maintainence and daily maintainence routine. My husband and kids appreciate how I look and if I don't do all this then after a few months I can start looking very rough. I spend around 40 minutes daily and around an hour weekly. Weekly routines and nighttime routines are the best. Health and Beauty both become important when you are older (after 35 years). It becomes difficult to bounce back in health and looks as you age. Maintain a regular healthy weight for most of your life. Do not yo-yo for more than 2 pounds and your face and body will not sag for a long time. All celebs who have continued to look great in their old age have maintained their weight.

Weekly -

HAIR - Color my hair at home every 3 weeks. I buy online the organic brand of haircolor sold at Whole Foods at 40% of the price. Haircut every 3 week. Once a week hair mask or dandruff treatment.

NAILS - Short and shaped at home. I use a metallic color to give a well groomed look. I refresh my nailpolish every week.

PEDIS and MANIS - I use the 1 minute scrub from BB&B for hands. Baby Foot treatment once every 3-4 months.

BODY HAIR - I got my upper lip hair lasered. I hardly need to do any maintainence. Home Brazillian (I got addicted to taking everything off) using Gigi Hard Wax. I also wax through Winter - especially my underarms. I will Nair or shave my legs and arms daily or as needed. Facial hair and neck bleached at home. One facial a week at home.

TEETH - Straight teeth, I do a 3 minute bleach treatment.

Daily -

BODY - Prebath coconut oil application on body. Wash with Glycerin soap. Body cream with extra glycerin and water (equal parts glycerine and water) added to the cream + Tendskin + grapeseed oil.

Hair - Prebath Coconut oil application on scalp. Loreal shampoo + Moroccan oil. Style hair every day.

FACE - Serum, moisturizer with sun-screen, retin-a, Primer, StriVectine for neck, face and eyes. Very light make-up - everyday. I have an unlined face and very youthful face and skin.

TEETH - Twice brushing, daily waterpick with hydrogen peroxide or listerine mouthwash, tongue cleaning twice a day. Many people have nasty breath or bad teeth. Going to the dentist regularly is the biggest thing you can do for your face and your facial structure.

MAKEUP - Eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow filler and lipstick every day.

EYES - Eye exercise every day. Lutein and Latisse. Still not wearing reading glasses.

Clothes that work for me, good shoes that are stylish and comfortable in neutral colors, (ditto with the handbags) and earrings. Layered perfume. Always invest in excellent quality eyeglasses.

Supplements? Hooooo ...this is a long list ...here goes... Iron during periods (still having my periods like clockwork), D3 (5000 mg), B-12, Lutein, Magnesium (Ionic liguid), COQ10, Iodine (2-3 drops occasionally), Cranberry extract, multi-vitamin, calcium (occasional), amino acids, quick dissolve aspirin (once in a while), Ashwagandha, Triphala, Gugul, Ashoka, Brahmi and Shatavari.

LOTS of probiotics yogurt and kombucha everyday, lots of fiber. Turmeric and honey. Avoid cola and junk. Green tea, lemon balm tea, fennel and ginger tea. Lots of fluids. Maintain liver, thyroid health, maintain blood sugar. When you are ill, you will age rapidly on your face and neck. RAPIDLY after 35 years of age and you will not spring back so easily. I do not eat after 6 pm most days.

Yoga, breathing exercise and walking with weights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG! LOTS and LOTS of maintainence.

Older woman (50+), limited budget and time. I have week6end maintainence and daily maintainence routine. My husband and kids appreciate how I look and if I don't do all this then after a few months I can start looking very rough. I spend around 40 minutes daily and around an hour weekly. Weekly routines and nighttime routines are the best. Health and Beauty both become important when you are older (after 35 years). It becomes difficult to bounce back in health and looks as you age. Maintain a regular healthy weight for most of your life. Do not yo-yo for more than 2 pounds and your face and body will not sag for a long time. All celebs who have continued to look great in their old age have maintained their weight.

Weekly -

HAIR - Color my hair at home every 3 weeks. I buy online the organic brand of haircolor sold at Whole Foods at 40% of the price. Haircut every 3 week. Once a week hair mask or dandruff treatment.

NAILS - Short and shaped at home. I use a metallic color to give a well groomed look. I refresh my nailpolish every week.

PEDIS and MANIS - I use the 1 minute scrub from BB&B for hands. Baby Foot treatment once every 3-4 months.

BODY HAIR - I got my upper lip hair lasered. I hardly need to do any maintainence. Home Brazillian (I got addicted to taking everything off) using Gigi Hard Wax. I also wax through Winter - especially my underarms. I will Nair or shave my legs and arms daily or as needed. Facial hair and neck bleached at home. One facial a week at home.

TEETH - Straight teeth, I do a 3 minute bleach treatment.

Daily -

BODY - Prebath coconut oil application on body. Wash with Glycerin soap. Body cream with extra glycerin and water (equal parts glycerine and water) added to the cream + Tendskin + grapeseed oil.

Hair - Prebath Coconut oil application on scalp. Loreal shampoo + Moroccan oil. Style hair every day.

FACE - Serum, moisturizer with sun-screen, retin-a, Primer, StriVectine for neck, face and eyes. Very light make-up - everyday. I have an unlined face and very youthful face and skin.

TEETH - Twice brushing, daily waterpick with hydrogen peroxide or listerine mouthwash, tongue cleaning twice a day. Many people have nasty breath or bad teeth. Going to the dentist regularly is the biggest thing you can do for your face and your facial structure.

MAKEUP - Eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow filler and lipstick every day.

EYES - Eye exercise every day. Lutein and Latisse. Still not wearing reading glasses.

Clothes that work for me, good shoes that are stylish and comfortable in neutral colors, (ditto with the handbags) and earrings. Layered perfume. Always invest in excellent quality eyeglasses.

Supplements? Hooooo ...this is a long list ...here goes... Iron during periods (still having my periods like clockwork), D3 (5000 mg), B-12, Lutein, Magnesium (Ionic liguid), COQ10, Iodine (2-3 drops occasionally), Cranberry extract, multi-vitamin, calcium (occasional), amino acids, quick dissolve aspirin (once in a while), Ashwagandha, Triphala, Gugul, Ashoka, Brahmi and Shatavari.

LOTS of probiotics yogurt and kombucha everyday, lots of fiber. Turmeric and honey. Avoid cola and junk. Green tea, lemon balm tea, fennel and ginger tea. Lots of fluids. Maintain liver, thyroid health, maintain blood sugar. When you are ill, you will age rapidly on your face and neck. RAPIDLY after 35 years of age and you will not spring back so easily. I do not eat after 6 pm most days.

Yoga, breathing exercise and walking with weights.

Wow. That list is ver impressive. I congratulate you on your discipline. The Latisse is for eyelashes though right? How much lite in for eye health?