My Son Hit a Girl Today WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Serious consequences. You keep defending his behavior. If he's much bigger he could certainly pull away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls should not hit boys and vice versa. Gender has nothing to do with it. He treated her like a person and not as a "girl." When will people stop stereotyping? Tell him to tell the teacher first next time, but I wouldn't punish him at all.

Disagree. Girls are different them boys. Celebrate it. Love it!

And tell the teacher? FIRST! Teach your child how to resolve conflicts on their own. SECOND walk away. And if that doesn't work tell the teacher. Last, fight. Because eventually, there will come a time your child's life where he/she may need to know how to fight. But, you want to teach your child that hitting is the last resort.

Girls are not different than boys. As a once girl myself, I want to be treated the same as anybody, as a human being, not as a woman, girl, fragile flower to be handled with gloves. Pray tell why are girls different than boys? You are part of the problem and why the rest of us women can't make progress and be treated equally. You make me sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 year old DS in K. Little girl was apparently harassing him and grabbing him by the collar in line (he actually had red burn marks on his neck from it). Apparently he turned around and decked her when she wouldn't stop. The girl is very small and DS is average size. I know gender shouldn't matter, but it bothers me more that he hit a girl who is smaller, no matter what a PITA she is. I am not sure how to discipline him bc it was in self-defense and he is not a typically violent kid. This was the first incident like this. he has sisters at home, and is really good with them.

Of course gender matters. Boys shouldn't hit girls. Jesus. Shame him a little.

I'm sick of girls getting a pass for their obnoxious behavior because they're smaller and "weaker". He shouldn't have hit her, but she should have kept her hands to herself in the first place. She's probably gotten the message that because she's a small girl, that she can dish it out without anyone ever being able to push back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why your child goes to school to learn.

1. Ask her to stop.
2. Try to get away
3. Ask a teacher for help.

But, if 1., 2. and 3. fail you may defend yourself. Be cognizant of you size and don't try to hurt the person out of anger but you may hit or push them if they are hurting you.

IT IS RIDICULOUS to NOT teach children how to defend themselves.

My son can just hip toss you and put you on the ground lightly. It's scary enough and does not hurt.

Do not punish him for christ's sake.

This. And, I would want to know what's being done to help the girl learn how to keep her hands to herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

The sexism in this thread is appalling- against both boys and girls.

How do people like the PP not see that their stance essentially advocates that boys only treat other boys like normal humans, and girls are to be treated like a special, lesser category?

These are five year olds. There is no difference in bodily strength. I think harassment/bullying should of course be handled through nonviolent methods, but when it is ongoing and attempting to get the help of the teacher fails (as it did for OP's son), it makes absolutely no sense for the the kid to just stand there and take it til the girl knocks him out simply because they are of different sexes.

The OP should sit down with her son and talk to him about strategies for handling physical harassment from kids, but it shouldn't differ based on sex. This is how sexism takes route. I hope the people in this thread who are advocating for blanket policies based on sex don't also complain about women being underrepresented in STEM or sexism in the workplace. After all, it's no surprise that if this is how you treat kids in kindergarten, these boys will grow up to be men who think delicate women don't belong in the boardroom and the girls will grow up to think engineering isn't for them.

That's pretty funny. I am a female health scientist directly reporting to another female scientist, and I absolutely believe in teaching my sons never to hit a lady. (None of this means the girl here shouldn't be punished, she absolutely should.)

Men should never hit a lady, not even when the man in question is a scrawny five year old who's being repeatedly choked by a lady, who's actually also a five year old. Ladies belong in the home, not the work place. Men should be the breadwinner. Ladies should stick to nurturing occupations that leave plenty of opportunity for them to work around their husbands' more important careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

The sexism in this thread is appalling- against both boys and girls.

How do people like the PP not see that their stance essentially advocates that boys only treat other boys like normal humans, and girls are to be treated like a special, lesser category?

These are five year olds. There is no difference in bodily strength. I think harassment/bullying should of course be handled through nonviolent methods, but when it is ongoing and attempting to get the help of the teacher fails (as it did for OP's son), it makes absolutely no sense for the the kid to just stand there and take it til the girl knocks him out simply because they are of different sexes.

The OP should sit down with her son and talk to him about strategies for handling physical harassment from kids, but it shouldn't differ based on sex. This is how sexism takes route. I hope the people in this thread who are advocating for blanket policies based on sex don't also complain about women being underrepresented in STEM or sexism in the workplace. After all, it's no surprise that if this is how you treat kids in kindergarten, these boys will grow up to be men who think delicate women don't belong in the boardroom and the girls will grow up to think engineering isn't for them.

That's pretty funny. I am a female health scientist directly reporting to another female scientist, and I absolutely believe in teaching my sons never to hit a lady. (None of this means the girl here shouldn't be punished, she absolutely should.)

?

BTW, you being a being a female scientist who believes the bolded doesn't negate the under-representation of women in STEM. Attitudes such as yours contribute to/explain the under-representation.

[Anonymous]

As I tell my kids, never throw the first punch. to express his displeasure in words. I have a boy and a girl both are told not to hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious consequences. You keep defending his behavior. If he's much bigger he could certainly pull away.

I am on the same page as you as long as you think the girl should face serious consequences as well. Her offense is just as grave if not worse, since she is the bully in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls should not hit boys and vice versa. Gender has nothing to do with it. He treated her like a person and not as a "girl." When will people stop stereotyping? Tell him to tell the teacher first next time, but I wouldn't punish him at all.

Wrong. It does. Why? Boys and men are typically always stronger and bigger than girls and women. They have an unfair advantage, which makes it even worse to hit a girl or woman.

So it's ok for women to go around hitting men?

[Anonymous]

I had a girl slap my son in first grade because she was "playing'. Girls are just as bad as boys about hitting. My son doesn't hit anyone, regardless of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girls should not hit boys and vice versa. Gender has nothing to do with it. He treated her like a person and not as a "girl." When will people stop stereotyping? Tell him to tell the teacher first next time, but I wouldn't punish him at all.

Wrong. It does. Why? Boys and men are typically always stronger and bigger than girls and women. They have an unfair advantage, which makes it even worse to hit a girl or woman.

So it's ok for women to go around hitting men?

Agree with this. Unfair advantage or not, hitting is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

OP, your son did no graver offense than the girl. Stop being part of the problem. Kids fight at school, size has nothing to do with who is mean and who is nice. While this might have no effect on how your son turns out as a grown man, you should teach him to to hit, regardless of gender. This offense is on the same level as him hitting a boy. If you keep telling him that girls are fragile, girls are weak, how do you think he'll have respect for women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your son did no graver offense than the girl. Stop being part of the problem. Kids fight at school, size has nothing to do with who is mean and who is nice. While this might have no effect on how your son turns out as a grown man, you should teach him to to hit, regardless of gender. This offense is on the same level as him hitting a boy. If you keep telling him that girls are fragile, girls are weak, how do you think he'll have respect for women?

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

The sexism in this thread is appalling- against both boys and girls.

How do people like the PP not see that their stance essentially advocates that boys only treat other boys like normal humans, and girls are to be treated like a special, lesser category?

These are five year olds. There is no difference in bodily strength. I think harassment/bullying should of course be handled through nonviolent methods, but when it is ongoing and attempting to get the help of the teacher fails (as it did for OP's son), it makes absolutely no sense for the the kid to just stand there and take it til the girl knocks him out simply because they are of different sexes.

The OP should sit down with her son and talk to him about strategies for handling physical harassment from kids, but it shouldn't differ based on sex. This is how sexism takes route. I hope the people in this thread who are advocating for blanket policies based on sex don't also complain about women being underrepresented in STEM or sexism in the workplace. After all, it's no surprise that if this is how you treat kids in kindergarten, these boys will grow up to be men who think delicate women don't belong in the boardroom and the girls will grow up to think engineering isn't for them.

That's pretty funny. I am a female health scientist directly reporting to another female scientist, and I absolutely believe in teaching my sons never to hit a lady. (None of this means the girl here shouldn't be punished, she absolutely should.)

?

BTW, you being a being a female scientist who believes the bolded doesn't negate the under-representation of women in STEM. Attitudes such as yours contribute to/explain the under-representation.

I also teach my sons to hold a door open and say "ladies first". That probably makes your skin crawl. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls should not hit boys and vice versa. Gender has nothing to do with it. He treated her like a person and not as a "girl." When will people stop stereotyping? Tell him to tell the teacher first next time, but I wouldn't punish him at all.

Agree!