My Son Hit a Girl Today WWYD?

[Anonymous]

This is why your child goes to school to learn.

1. Ask her to stop.
2. Try to get away
3. Ask a teacher for help.

But, if 1., 2. and 3. fail you may defend yourself. Be cognizant of you size and don't try to hurt the person out of anger but you may hit or push them if they are hurting you.

IT IS RIDICULOUS to NOT teach children how to defend themselves.

My son can just hip toss you and put you on the ground lightly. It's scary enough and does not hurt.

Do not punish him for christ's sake.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I know the gender thing shouldn't matter, and that my son was defending himself to some degree. But I still am upset that he hit a girl. He has a sister, and knows better....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

No, no, no. I bet you are also teaching your son that "boys will be boys." You are just perpetuating stereotypes and are not helping either gender. How about just teach your son not to hit period. If he needs to defend himself, he can. He can certainly push the girl who is choking him off of her.

When I was that age I wreaked havoc on the boys. I mean I was a mean little shit who was stronger than almost any boy in my class. Stop the nonsense that girls are somehow weaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

+1

[Anonymous]

This has got to be a troll. I didn't think so at first, but the subsequent responses are so WTF that if this is real, I feel bad for the weird mindset with which she is raising both her son AND her daughters.

Your son is harassed and choked repeatedly by this kid, rebuffed by teachers when he DOES attempt to report the mistreatment, and yet all you can focus on is the fact that the person he hit to stop choking him is a girl? Despite the fact that they are very young and far away from puberty (which is when sex would actually have an impact on bodily strength).

Nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

No, no, no. I bet you are also teaching your son that "boys will be boys." You are just perpetuating stereotypes and are not helping either gender. How about just teach your son not to hit period. If he needs to defend himself, he can. He can certainly push the girl who is choking him off of her.

When I was that age I wreaked havoc on the boys. I mean I was a mean little shit who was stronger than almost any boy in my class. Stop the nonsense that girls are somehow weaker.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has got to be a troll. I didn't think so at first, but the subsequent responses are so WTF that if this is real, I feel bad for the weird mindset with which she is raising both her son AND her daughters.

Your son is harassed and choked repeatedly by this kid, rebuffed by teachers when he DOES attempt to report the mistreatment, and yet all you can focus on is the fact that the person he hit to stop choking him is a girl? Despite the fact that they are very young and far away from puberty (which is when sex would actually have an impact on bodily strength).

Nuts.

Thank you for having sense!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 year old DS in K. Little girl was apparently harassing him and grabbing him by the collar in line (he actually had red burn marks on his neck from it). Apparently he turned around and decked her when she wouldn't stop. The girl is very small and DS is average size. I know gender shouldn't matter, but it bothers me more that he hit a girl who is smaller, no matter what a PITA she is. I am not sure how to discipline him bc it was in self-defense and he is not a typically violent kid. This was the first incident like this. he has sisters at home, and is really good with them.

Of course gender matters. Boys shouldn't hit girls. Jesus. Shame him a little.

+1. I don't think you shame him, OP, but this is a nice time to start the "Boys do not hit girls. Ever." message.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I know the gender thing shouldn't matter, and that my son was defending himself to some degree. But I still am upset that he hit a girl. He has a sister, and knows better....

You on the other hand, are a fool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 year old DS in K. Little girl was apparently harassing him and grabbing him by the collar in line (he actually had red burn marks on his neck from it). Apparently he turned around and decked her when she wouldn't stop. The girl is very small and DS is average size. I know gender shouldn't matter, but it bothers me more that he hit a girl who is smaller, no matter what a PITA she is. I am not sure how to discipline him bc it was in self-defense and he is not a typically violent kid. This was the first incident like this. he has sisters at home, and is really good with them.

Of course gender matters. Boys shouldn't hit girls. Jesus. Shame him a little.

+1. I don't think you shame him, OP, but this is a nice time to start the "Boys do not hit girls. Ever." message.

Yes, if a girl is punching your son in the face, please teaching him to stand there and take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

This is why women are used in my field. Because of parents like this. Most of the time, women are stronger and more brutal then men. And the "assumption" this idiot parent is making is to defend the girl - without even knowing what the fight is about.

Keep teaching this backwards, 1950s mindset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:5 year old DS in K. Little girl was apparently harassing him and grabbing him by the collar in line (he actually had red burn marks on his neck from it). Apparently he turned around and decked her when she wouldn't stop. The girl is very small and DS is average size. I know gender shouldn't matter, but it bothers me more that he hit a girl who is smaller, no matter what a PITA she is. I am not sure how to discipline him bc it was in self-defense and he is not a typically violent kid. This was the first incident like this. he has sisters at home, and is really good with them.

Of course gender matters. Boys shouldn't hit girls. Jesus. Shame him a little.

+1. I don't think you shame him, OP, but this is a nice time to start the "Boys do not hit girls. Ever." message.

Yes, if a girl is punching your son in the face, please teaching him to stand there and take it.

Jesus, it's moron day on DCUM. (BTW, I know the one directly above is being facetious)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

The sexism in this thread is appalling- against both boys and girls.

How do people like the PP not see that their stance essentially advocates that boys only treat other boys like normal humans, and girls are to be treated like a special, lesser category?

These are five year olds. There is no difference in bodily strength. I think harassment/bullying should of course be handled through nonviolent methods, but when it is ongoing and attempting to get the help of the teacher fails (as it did for OP's son), it makes absolutely no sense for the the kid to just stand there and take it til the girl knocks him out simply because they are of different sexes.

The OP should sit down with her son and talk to him about strategies for handling physical harassment from kids, but it shouldn't differ based on sex. This is how sexism takes route. I hope the people in this thread who are advocating for blanket policies based on sex don't also complain about women being underrepresented in STEM or sexism in the workplace. After all, it's no surprise that if this is how you treat kids in kindergarten, these boys will grow up to be men who think delicate women don't belong in the boardroom and the girls will grow up to think engineering isn't for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boys don't hit girls and if my boys see a bigger boy hitting a girl they need to try and defend the girl. That's what my boys have heard from the time they were little. Of course gender matters. If it were my boy he would be in big trouble. If I heard that a boy in my son's grade hit a smaller girl I wouldn't want my boy ever hanging around him.

The sexism in this thread is appalling- against both boys and girls.

How do people like the PP not see that their stance essentially advocates that boys only treat other boys like normal humans, and girls are to be treated like a special, lesser category?

These are five year olds. There is no difference in bodily strength. I think harassment/bullying should of course be handled through nonviolent methods, but when it is ongoing and attempting to get the help of the teacher fails (as it did for OP's son), it makes absolutely no sense for the the kid to just stand there and take it til the girl knocks him out simply because they are of different sexes.

The OP should sit down with her son and talk to him about strategies for handling physical harassment from kids, but it shouldn't differ based on sex. This is how sexism takes route. I hope the people in this thread who are advocating for blanket policies based on sex don't also complain about women being underrepresented in STEM or sexism in the workplace. After all, it's no surprise that if this is how you treat kids in kindergarten, these boys will grow up to be men who think delicate women don't belong in the boardroom and the girls will grow up to think engineering isn't for them.

That's pretty funny. I am a female health scientist directly reporting to another female scientist, and I absolutely believe in teaching my sons never to hit a lady. (None of this means the girl here shouldn't be punished, she absolutely should.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls should not hit boys and vice versa. Gender has nothing to do with it. He treated her like a person and not as a "girl." When will people stop stereotyping? Tell him to tell the teacher first next time, but I wouldn't punish him at all.

Wrong. It does. Why? Boys and men are typically always stronger and bigger than girls and women. They have an unfair advantage, which makes it even worse to hit a girl or woman.