Do men who are sexually satisfied in the marriage still cheat?

[Anonymous]

Most of the studies out there say that men cheat only slightly more than women, especially when the women make 100k+.

And based on the percentage of women who have confided in my dw, it's pretty damn high. I don't know nearly as many men who have cheated as women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the studies out there say that men cheat only slightly more than women, especially when the women make 100k+.

And based on the percentage of women who have confided in my dw, it's pretty damn high. I don't know nearly as many men who have cheated as women.

Again it's not biology, it's a character flaw. It's not like our current society is producing people with a conscious at a rapid rate.

If anything we're producing more people that belong in the recycle bin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not talking about twice a week duty s*x. More like wild love making after 10+ years of marriage. BJs, sexting, the works. Do these men still seek out affairs?

Convince my DW to have sex like you describe and than ask me.

I have once a week duty sex with my husband (duty is on his part, as is the low frequency). If he ever initiated, or even sought treatment for low T, or even admitted he has a problem, I might not cheat.

That's a horrible way to live and especially if you have kids. Kids find out almost everything that goes on in a home. You need to either compromise with him or go your own ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, cheating is about biology. We all want to get our genes in the gene pool, but a woman can only carry one man's child at any one time, so she is naturally monogamous. A man can have any number of women carrying his children at any one time so it behooves a man to cheat.

Wrong. Wanting to cheat is about biology. Cheating is about character. People who make a promise and break it have poor character.

[Anonymous]

I think it's the attention and excitement a cheater races. Yup a cheater will cheat even if a loving wife is a home.

[Anonymous]

Meant craves

[Anonymous]

To answer OPs question: yes, but way less likely.

Some small percentage of men will never cheat, even if in a sexless marriage.

Some small percentage of men constantly cheat, no matter if they are married to a super model, sexual vixen.

Most men are in the middle. Generally try to be faithful but temptation is out there. A drained man is not a tempted man.

[Anonymous]

Cheating is usually to fill a hole in one's life, but not necessarily sexual hole. Other psychological problems or needs can be temporarily covered up by the thrill of illicit sex. Only temporarily, of course...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All men cheat in their heads. It is a fact. Some are better than pretending they don't than others.

But, it takes a special man to act on it.

As a married man who knows many married men, I would say that most men that cheat do not look to do so. Most of it is circumstance. But it is important to consider how one's behavior puts yourself in those circumstances.

The reasons why men would put themselves in those circumstances is another question that I don't have an answer to, as it is probably different for every man. A suspect a lot of it though is rooted either in self-destructive impulses and some other of it is rooted in emotional dissatisfaction and some combination of the above.

You also have to throw in a lack of maturity as well, because honestly most men don't grow up in situations where women are falling all over them. Most men go through adolescence and young adulthood deathly afraid of girls and women because they hold all the cards, particularly the most crucial one, destroying your ego/self-esteem. So as we get older, get good careers, the dynamic shifts and we realize that we actually have power over women. And there are plenty of women that will throw themselves at you as a married man. The trick is being mature enough to realize that time has passed, to consider your commitments and to get over it not act on it.

In the end though, most men do not cheat, despite opportunities. Only a small percentage do.

This.

Also, our marriage counselor says a remarkably high number of men are unfaithful in the first year of marriage (when most couples are boinking like crazy). It's not about sex. It's about power and self-esteem/self-destruction and maturity and opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Woman here ... but one who has slept with quite a few married men over the years, so I have a bit of perspective.

Good, wild, mind-blowing frequent sex will certainly reduce the likelihood that a man will cheat. But it will not eliminate cheating entirely.

Some of the men I knew were sex-starved. But many just needed some variety, ego-stroking, or companionship. Or they just got caught up in the moment and had never learned to say no.

(Side note, I actually think that last one is a real issue. Women are taught from day 1 how to say no. Men are taught to pursue, pursue, pursue ... and then they get married, and have no idea how to resist temptation. I'm not saying they are victims or anything, but it is interesting to see them flail when they just can't stop themselves. Anyway.... continuing on....)

Great sex at home will stop the first category from cheating, but not the others. Some guys ... I knew their wives and KNEW they were getting it on at home, but they still wanted something more.

[Anonymous]

He's definitely cheating.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I'm a high drive woman, and my husband still cheated....with a less attractive woman who looked up to him as a mentor. I was blind sided because I didn't think our marriage had any serious problems, we were supportive of one another, and we both owned that we were pretty happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, cheating is about biology. We all want to get our genes in the gene pool, but a woman can only carry one man's child at any one time, so she is naturally monogamous. A man can have any number of women carrying his children at any one time so it behooves a man to cheat.

Wrong. Wanting to cheat is about biology. Cheating is about character. People who make a promise and break it have poor character.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner. Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, cheating is about biology. We all want to get our genes in the gene pool, but a woman can only carry one man's child at any one time, so she is naturally monogamous. A man can have any number of women carrying his children at any one time so it behooves a man to cheat.

Wrong. Wanting to cheat is about biology. Cheating is about character. People who make a promise and break it have poor character.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner. Exactly this.

You are half right: agree that man's wanting to cheat is about biology.
But it is dead wrong to believe that a man's character can indefinitely overcome his biological drive for sex.
Most men, if not sexually satisfied for a length of time, will at some point give in to his biology when the opportunity arises, regardless of his character.
I don't think the average woman is even remotely qualified to refute this fact, you simply have no idea.... none whatsoever.

Without a doubt then, cheating is inversely proportional to a man's sexual satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, cheating is about biology. We all want to get our genes in the gene pool, but a woman can only carry one man's child at any one time, so she is naturally monogamous. A man can have any number of women carrying his children at any one time so it behooves a man to cheat.

No. I can assure you that most cheaters don't want some hookup carrying their baby.