At what age would you leave your child alone in the hospital?

[Anonymous]

I know this is DCUM where cruelty knows no bounds, but it seems beyond cruel to judge here. I assure you parents don't WANT to leave their kids -at any age - in the hospital. Reality is - they probably have jobs that carry the insurance and an employer/boss who is telling them -we've been more than generous being flexible with you but if you aren't here 40 hrs a week, we'll have no problem terminating you and there goes your insurance and pay check; and they know that without insurance their kid couldn't get the necessary care and without a paycheck, they'd fall behind on the mortgage/rent and then they don't know what they'd do. Or they have a limited amount of extended leave time and they are planning for what will happen when their child comes home and needs someone home with them - so it makes more sense to go to work now when there are nurses to make sure their kid is safe, so they can be home later to take care of the child at home, drive him/her to appointments etc.

Do you honestly believe people are thinking - yay kid in the hospital, that means I can hit up yoga during the day, lunch with the ladies, a movie and nap in the afternoon, and date night with DH later and we'll squeeze an hr long visit somewhere in there??

[Anonymous]

I spent a week in the hospital when I was 10. Neither of my parents spent the night. I dont recall it being a big deal. I had a tv in my room, which was.

I would guess it depends on the.child.

[Anonymous]

NICU, yes; thereafter, no.

[Anonymous]

I had the croup at 4 and no one stayed over. I am a perfectly functioning adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, never. I'm 34. Over the past 8 months, I've spent weeks at a time in the hospital. (Both Suburban and Shady Grove) At no point have I ever been alone. Not even for one second. My dad's a physician and he's managed to spend a few hours a day at the hospital with me, in between his own crazy busy schedule. My mom has been there every single day. As have her two best friends. My own best friends have spent the night every single night I've been there, refusing to leave me alone in the evenings. They bring their work clothes for the next day with them and leave from the hospital. Their moms have brought breakfast every single day for whoever is there with me in the morning.

I know I'm insanely lucky to be surrounded by such a loving, caring group of people, and I don't take it for granted for one second, but being in the hospital is terrifying, even as an adult, and I can't for one second imagine being a child and being left alone there. The only reason I've been able to stay sane throughout my hospitalizations is because I've had my friends and family there to get me through it. My doctors have always said that the positivity I'm surrounded by has made a world of difference in the progress I've made and they're right. I haven't had one second to mope or be upset or afraid because I'm constantly surrounded by people who remind me of all the great things I have in my life and that makes fighting my illness so much easier.

I think this is very individual. If you are anxious and scared then having people with you 24/7 might be a good feeling. I have been hospitalized many times and the last thing I want is people there 24/7. I don't find hospitals terrifying at all. It is health care. It is nice having people visit for company and to bring me stuff I need but I then like lots of time to just nap and snooze, be miserable if I am in pain, read, etc. There is already so much stimulation in the hospital from noise and movement that I don't need someone in my space 24/7 - that just irritates me. Plus people have things to do and I don't need someone to watch me sleep when they too have lives to take care of. No one sleeps well in the hospital so I never want anyone staying over night unless there is something really serious going on. Much better that they go home and have a good night sleep in their own beds so they aren't compromising their own health for mine.

I have epilepsy so have spent numerous nights in a hospital. I would hate having to entertain guests this much. Go home and let me watch Law & Order!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I have a child with a chronic condition on her tenth hospitalization. She's now 12 and has never been alone even for the time it would take to get coffee. I just get amazed each time I'm here how many kids are in their rooms totally alone. Little kids and babies. It makes me sad.

Hey OP. I'm the mom of a 20 y.o. who has had a chronic illness since she was 9. I'd guess she's been hospitalized like 100 times since then. I remember when it all first started and I would not leave her. I also noticed that other rooms were empty of moms and dads. Over time you come to learn that not everyone has 2 parents, not everyone has job flexibility. The families I have known who had to leave their kids were sad about it too. But health insurance requires money...

[Anonymous]

I had emergency surgery when I was 11 after my appendix ruptured. I was in the hospital 4.5 days. My mother asked me if I wanted her to stay with me the first night & I said no because I could tell she was tired & didn't want her to have to sleep on a cot. My parents both took off of work the day they brought me to the hospital & my dad took off again so I wouldn't be alone my first full day in the hospital. After that, he had to go back to work so I was alone everyday until he & my mom there after work. I was perfectly fine & watched tv most of the day. I actually felt pretty cool & "grown up".

[Anonymous]

^ until he & my mom GOT there.

[Anonymous]

Whenever they asked me not to be there. I get hospitalized about once a year for a chronic condition. Anywhere from 2-10 days. When I was about 14 I started telling my parents that no one needed to sleep in my room. Parent spent the night in the family area. Around 16-17 I was more insistent that I wanted alone time. Parents respected that.

As an adult, I don't mind visitors for half the day. After that, I prefer to be left alone, with the exception of DH. Dh is just someone I dont have to worry about, we can silently watch TV together, or read our Kindles separately. But I don't want him spending the night. I need some alone time (just like I do at home). Plus, I don't like to be treated differently because I'm in the hospital. With my parents it's always the memories of when I was a kid.and my condition.was more severe.so they are.stressed/upset. For my friends they want to rally around me and be supportive. And I appreciate all of it, it's just overwhelming.

[Anonymous]

PP with the 20 year old again. Forgot to say that I have not left my daughter overnight yet for any hospitalization since she was 9. But....I switch off with my husband and my mom...so I have support.
The reason we stay is because most of the time our daughter is hospitalized she is in very serious pain. I wouldn't want to be alone and in that kind of pain. Plus, often the nurses are so busy that they get behind and you have to be pretty aggressive and watchful about medications.

But, if she wasn't in pain, I'd go into the office and sleep in my own bed! Those cots you have to sleep on are awful.

[Anonymous]

op back again. I guess I should have mentioned my child has special needs and simply cannot be left alone. Honestly, I was asking for information because I was curious. I have no idea what is age appropriate for a tween and never will. I judge no one. It makes me sad to see kids alone but I do t judge parents. Sorry to upset.

[Anonymous]

OP - my DD was in the PICU as a baby from 3m until 10m and one of us was always with her or (as much as possible) her twin at home. I agree - it is terribly sad to see how many kids/babies are alone and I know - KNOW that any patient - even in the 1 nurse 2 patients ratio of the PICU receive less care and that us being at our DD bedside allowed us to quickly catch medical errors. I know we were 'lucky' to be able to be there for her - if being lucky is going into bankruptcy (which we had to do) but we would make those sacrifices again. We never left our older kids for their hospitilizations and I took turns with my siblings and sometimes hired help that my mother was never alone either. Hospitals ask so much for the staff and they are pushed to their limits to the point that we were both told to never leave DD/parents alone by staff (this was at Childrens, Sibley and Suburban.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never

really?

My newborn was in the hospital and the nurses told us to leave and go home and take care of ourselves. We did. I wouldn't leave a toddler in the hospital by themselves if they were conscious. But, leaving a newborn there is fine. Same with an older child. There is an age where they don't need you... then an age where they need you, then an age where they probably can manage on their own for awhile.

[Anonymous]

I was 10 and in the hospital to have my adenoids out. Back thenext you stayed in for two nights, this was also in England not here. My parents came to visit but no one stayed with me. My dad had to work and my mum had to take care of younger brother. I felt fine being left. I was on a ward with 2 other kids all having same thing done. I think I could leave my kid at that for something minor, not something major though. Any only if she was OK with it.

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 year old who has been hospitalized twice so far, and also had a stay in the NICU after she was born. For the NICU stay, there were no parent beds, so I went home after I was discharged, and came to visit at regular intervals during the day. She didn't really know if we weren't there, and there wasn't a ton we could do for her, as we could only hold her for short amounts of time. For the two stays as a toddler, either my husband or I was at her side 24/7. I was lucky that my job is relatively flexible so I could take PTO and make up some hours, but it was really hard and I thought often about how I had no idea what I would have done if I had an inflexible job and/or was a single parent. Having been through that, I could see leaving an older elementary kid who would be okay watching movies and might sleep on their own for periods of time, depending on how serious the situation was and how long the stay was.

Genuine question - how do those in difficult circumstances (for example, single parent with other kids, or parents with inflexible jobs) make it work to leave an active, curious toddler in a hospital room alone even for short amounts of time? I have a ton of sympathy for them and know most wouldn't choose that, but I'm having trouble imagining how it would work. How to avoid the toddler pulling out IVs, sneaking out of the room, etc? I felt like I couldn't even leave to grab a glass of water in case she decided to jump out of bed and follow.