The first day of preschool. Parent can't come in!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher too and it is difficult enough for the child. I have seen the mother cry. Not good for anyone.

It's a PRESCHOOL. I can understand once they get older, why you feel the need for less interuptions. But I would never take my child to a preschool that doesn't have an open door policy and allow me inside. I'd question what they are trying to hide. As far as "disruption". I repeat, it's a preschool. Personal preference on my part, but I'd never send my kid to a preschool that was so structured that "interuptions" were a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher too and it is difficult enough for the child. I have seen the mother cry. Not good for anyone.

It's a PRESCHOOL. I can understand once they get older, why you feel the need for less interuptions. But I would never take my child to a preschool that doesn't have an open door policy and allow me inside. I'd question what they are trying to hide. As far as "disruption". I repeat, it's a preschool. Personal preference on my part, but I'd never send my kid to a preschool that was so structured that "interuptions" were a problem.

It does seem a bit strict, especially for just dropping off. I can understand it more if they don't want parents coming into the classroom during the session - that can be disruptive, but to not even let you in to drop off your kid? I'd be very cautious and try and get an explanation that makes sense before adhering to this rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My children's preschool has sort of a similar policy. The parents drop their children off in their classrooms, but are expected to leave right away, esp. at the beginning of the year. If you linger, the teachers make you feel very uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, they send the kids outside - parents line up outside the school.

I have to say that I hate it and I wouldn't do it again. I hate that I can't have more access to my own children, esp. since they are so young.

Is your child happy at the end of preschool? Does s/he seem to be learning? growing a bit more independent? (Yes - independence is a goal in preschool.) Have you heard any complaints from your child? If not, then WHY do you feel the need to have "more access" to your child?

as though five extra minutes at drop off will create a stronger bond or protect the child from potential danger

Sheesh - How will some of you act when they enter kindergarten/elementary school?

Cut the cord now, or they'll be living with you when they're 30.

[Anonymous]

Wow! Talk about extremes! Again this set up may work just fine for some moms and not so much for other moms.
But why do we have to be so catty about our preferences?? Our children are our most precious gifts. How about you do what works for you while not cutting another moms preference in the process? Personally, this set up would not work for me. Works for you? Great!

[Anonymous]

I have three children. Eachh child is different. I think they can handle it. It would be best to be able to walk them in until they are ready to be dropped off in carline.

[Anonymous]

If the children trust the teachers the transition in car pool line shouldn't be a problem. At my school the teachers help to make the exit from car to school a happy routine. Smiles all the wary around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a teacher too and it is difficult enough for the child. I have seen the mother cry. Not good for anyone.

It's a PRESCHOOL. I can understand once they get older, why you feel the need for less interuptions. But I would never take my child to a preschool that doesn't have an open door policy and allow me inside. I'd question what they are trying to hide. As far as "disruption". I repeat, it's a preschool. Personal preference on my part, but I'd never send my kid to a preschool that was so structured that "interuptions" were a problem.

[Anonymous]

What do yo think is happening that they are hiding? I think until you see the chaos that happens with parents standing around in the classroom you will understand. There be tears. It is a good idea to be able to bring the child into a classroom to be distracted and calm down without having to witness another child and mom go through the separation routine.

[Anonymous]

Different strokes -- I would not want to have my child attend a preschool that allowed parents to linger around and disrupt the first 30 to 40 minutes of the day. I want the teachers with the children, not having one on one conversations with parents. If the parents are distracting the teachers who is watching the children? There are othe more appropriate times to talk with teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different strokes -- I would not want to have my child attend a preschool that allowed parents to linger around and disrupt the first 30 to 40 minutes of the day. I want the teachers with the children, not having one on one conversations with parents. If the parents are distracting the teachers who is watching the children? There are othe more appropriate times to talk with teachers.

My son will be attending a preschool this Fall that allows parents to drop off in the class room as well as linger if the child feels it necessary. However I never thought that the "lingering" parents would be interupting the classroom setting by speaking with the teachers. I plan to bring a magazine and sit quietly in the corner.

[Anonymous]

Our preschool has parents bring the kids the first day (2 and 3 yr olds) and stay w/ them for the 1 hr they are there. The next day, they have the parents drop the kids off in the classroom and the parents hang out in the meeting room upstairs for an hour and a half. The next day, the parents drop off and leave for the whole 3 hr period. It was a nice gradual introduction for everyone. I would not just drop off a 2 or 3 yr old and leave the building.

[Anonymous]

I feel the children will be fine if the school is good, with enough teachers for hugs. I am sure lots of students are returning and therefore only a few of the new ones would feel the anxiety. It must work for the school or it wouldn't be the policy.

[Anonymous]

The kids act differently when the parents leave. Our preschool has windows into the classrooms. I am always amazed at how independent and happy my 2 year old is when I get the chance to watch him without him knowing. It is also amazing to see how well he and all of his friends listen to directions and comply with the classroom routines. He is not like that when I am in the room. So, I can completely understand this rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our preschool has parents bring the kids the first day (2 and 3 yr olds) and stay w/ them for the 1 hr they are there. The next day, they have the parents drop the kids off in the classroom and the parents hang out in the meeting room upstairs for an hour and a half. The next day, the parents drop off and leave for the whole 3 hr period. It was a nice gradual introduction for everyone. I would not just drop off a 2 or 3 yr old and leave the building.

This sounds like a good transition strategy, similar to that which both of my children's schools employed. I am sympathetic to the concerns of teachers who don't want parents interrupting the first 30 to 40 minutes of class, however this honestly sounds ridiculous and hyperbolic to me. Having said that, we're talking about my 2 year old, who can only describe a pretty limited narrative. So for example, if she were mistreated, her ability to explain what happened is pretty constrained. This is why it is absolutely vital for the school to make me, her mother, feel welcome. We are a team in her education and among the primary goals of pre-school are nurturing a love of school and learning and fostering independence. That means taking it at HER pace and MY pace - not what's convenient for creating a rigid routine on the first 30 minutes of the very first day of school. And if I can't walk her to her classroom on her first day of class? Then you, as a school, have failed - simple as that. My child deserves better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do yo think is happening that they are hiding? I think until you see the chaos that happens with parents standing around in the classroom you will understand. There be tears. It is a good idea to be able to bring the child into a classroom to be distracted and calm down without having to witness another child and mom go through the separation routine.

When you line up in the hallway, if your child is last, they will witness every single child and parent go through the separation routine. It takes a while, especially if the teachers are peeling the child off the parent's leg. They try to put the children who are having real issues to the side and deal with the rest of the line, but there's still a time factor of 5-15 minutes involved, during which your child (who might have been fine at the outset), can become unhinged by seeing multiple other children crying and having difficulty separating. Hysteria spreads. This is why I always try to be in the first two or three in line. It's also a reason as a parent I do not prefer this method of arrival/dismissal. It's inefficient and it creates opportunities for traumatic separations that would not be present if the children simply went into the classroom with a parent as they arrived, became engaged with a classroom activity or material, and parents separated shortly thereafter. I've done both the line up in the hall method and the parents being welcome to enter the classroom but encouraged to depart shortly thereafter method, and observed much less trauma with the latter.