The first day of preschool. Parent can't come in!

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher too and it is difficult enough for the child. I have seen the mother cry. Not good for anyone.

[Anonymous]

Just call the school. Which preschool is it anyway???

[Anonymous]

How old are your twins OP? If they're on the younger end of the spectrum, this policy sounds a little harsh. Our 2 year old starts pre-school this fall, two mornings a week. The first week, parents are invited to stay with their kids for as long as needed to make the kids comfortable, idea being that after that, parents can come in but shouldn't expect to linger. They also welcome parents to come with their kids to hang out in the classrooms the week before classes start so the room feels familiar. Maybe see if you can come a little early to ease the transition if the school won't budge on the policy? If they won't work with you at all, and your kids need some transition, then this may not be the school for you.

[Anonymous]

I agree. You may want to reconsider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been at preschools like this. After the first week, which was admittedly rough, my kids were fine with it. I was not so fine, both because I felt less than welcomed and because it's an inherent inconvenience for parents. You have to line up in the hallway for arrival, it takes some time for the kids to go one-by-one through the door, some parent in front of you inevitably has to have a conversation with the teacher (even a quick one!) and this holds up the line. Then same for dismissal. It's especially annoying to be the last person in line and find the teacher is having an involved conversation with one of the parents in front of you and can't find the time to dismiss your child, while you have places to go, a screaming infant in need of lunch, etc., etc. I found I was spending 15 minutes or so standing in the hallway twice a day. While it was nice to be able to chat with other parents, I didn't like the implied message and the logistics definitely did not work for me so I found somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Will you have to wait in the hall or do you drop off at the door or is it a carpool delivery?

[Anonymous]

My children's preschool has sort of a similar policy. The parents drop their children off in their classrooms, but are expected to leave right away, esp. at the beginning of the year. If you linger, the teachers make you feel very uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, they send the kids outside - parents line up outside the school.

I have to say that I hate it and I wouldn't do it again. I hate that I can't have more access to my own children, esp. since they are so young.

[Anonymous]

my school also asks for very brief drop-offs, and there is a line painted on the floor that parents are asked not to cross. Although sometimes hard on me, or my children, it's preschool...not daycare. There are organized activities, and don't laugh, a curriculum. The teacher needs to be able to establish him/herself as the authority and doesn't need a 35 minute window of parents lingering and disrupting the morning plans. Most children would rather stay with Mom than enter a new surrounding. But, if ultimatley they need to acclimate to the new environment/classroom... you either rip the bandaid off...or you slowly peel it back. Either way, the thing is coming off. If you linger, it will take longer to get to that destination. Plus, everytime a new parent comes in...those children that have already said their goodbyes are then reminded that their parent isn't there.

That being said...our school goes above and beyond to make sure the parents feel welcome and engaged in the school. I have every confidence in our teachers, and when my children do have a rough drop off there is someone there immediately to comfort and bring my children into the fold on activities. I don't feel its 'something i can't do', but something that i 'don't have to do, because they have it covered.'

[Anonymous]

That's ridiculous! Good grief it's preschool not kindergarten! There is no way I'm not walking my twins into their preschool. I appreciate what teachers are saying about parents who drag out the good bye; I wouldn't do that. But no way I'm being cut out! Too many choices people; for some this may work and for others it doesn't-keep looking you'll find a better match.

[Anonymous]

21:12 here, I've found the key to this kind of preschool (maybe all of them) is preparation. I have a lot of kids so I've had many first days of preschools. My kids who went to the school that was like this were 2 at the time. With all of them, about 10 days before school starts, I start going over the major events in the preschool schedule with them. I make this more detailed as it goes along, and eventually make sure to work in that we'll go in the preschool, line up in the hallway, and then the teacher will open the door and they'll go in their classroom and I won't "because it's just for kids." I make sure to mention their teacher's name every time, that I know their teacher and I'm sure they will like him or her, that he or she is very nice, likes kids very much, and likes to help kids. I also make sure to mention anyone they know who will be in the class (or just that they will have some new friends). I quiz them occasionally to make sure they've absorbed this, especially the fact that I will pick them up and when. My kids' current preschool sends a letter about a week before school starts, this has pictures of the teachers in it and is quite helpful as a visual aid to these stories.

On the first day, I arrive somewhat early. The goals are to get an early place in line and to acclimate the child to the school (hallway anyway!). Hysteria spreads so you don't want to be far back in the line on the first day if you think your child has a good chance to go willingly into the classroom. The ideal position is second or third behind especially confident and outgoing children, but first is OK also. While waiting, we go over examples of what fun there will be, the schedule again, and when I will pick them up, i.e., "after snack" or whatever is last before dismissal. I keep the mood quite light even if they are somewhat iffy, and I try to encourage them to be physically separate from me, to look at things in the hallway, go see people, etc. Then once the door opens I say "have fun, see you after snack" and usually the teachers are smart enough to have something really attractive to play with and they run right in. They might cry later but my kids don't usually cry at the door. (As an aside, my current preschool starts most of the classes outside on the playground, last year my DC's class had zero 3 year olds crying at dropoff on the first day). It's important not to let up on the preparation after the first day, I've found that the second day and up to the first 2 or 3 weeks are iffy even if the first day has gone well--they've figured out a little more concretely that you're leaving them after the first day and so need additional reassurance. OP, good luck!

[Anonymous]

This is how drop off and pick up are done at my child's school. The theory behind this kind of drop off is to promote the idea that the child is leaving you to go and learn rather than you leaving the child (less of a feeling of abandonment). The teacher or assistant would come to the car and say good morning and ask the child to say goodbye to mom and then take the child to the classroom. Pick up was done the same way. Teacher puts the child in the car. It works beautifully for all involved. My child's school also did a wonderful pre- first day of school event, a drop in open house event that involved parents visiting the classroom and meeting the teachers with the child a day or two before school. And there were also mornings for parents in the classroom. And there was never a rule that parents could not come in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

The PP's preschool with a drop-off and pick-off carpool line sounds like a fast food drive-in. I would never choose a school like that. If I didn't bring my son to his classroom and pick him up there, I would never be able to talk to his teacher. Or any other parents either. It seems very cold and sterile to me to just drop them off. It is preschool, not 3rd grade.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I am at a preschool where there is a carpool. I am fine with dropping off my child with the teacher. He is happy and excited. We play a game of who will be taking you from the car. I love my little guy's smile as he wave bye bye to me. When the teacher puts him in the car- Again, all smiles. She shares a special something about the day. If I went to the door, I would not get the same one on one conversation with the teacher.

[Anonymous]

My DS's preschool is not like this and while I admit that it might make the dropoffs easier on both of us (he's been at the school 2 years and while he loves it he sometimes does make a fuss or draw things out when I go to leave), I would be bothered by this policy more from the standpoint of parents not being invited to see/participate in the class. I really like the fact that there is an open door policy at DS's school and parents are often involved in coming by to read to the class, introduce an activity, etc. Also, there are sometimes times when you want to speak to the teacher before school to explain any current situations or concerns. And I find it nice to speak to the teacher after school and get some sense of DS's day. This sounds way to rigid for me personally.

[Anonymous]

My pre-school is like this and I really think it helps make the drop off more efficient and less painful for the kids. Does the school allow you to come in after school is in session and peek thru a window to observe? I really think they are just trying to minimize long drop-offs that are difficult for some kids.