Buying Car for (Step) Daughter... Mom wants input

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the step daughter is the one that wants a cuter car than the car you wanted for her and that's why she brought it up.

I thought that, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think your SD reported that conversation because she was hinting to you that SHE wants a car that's a little fun and not overly staid? What kind of car are you considering?

Agree with PP that you sound like a wonderful stepmother!

+1

[Anonymous]

You sound like you've been a wonderful stepmom.

Just ignore you ever heard this comment. Do your generous, lovely gesture and get your stepdaughter a car from her list.

[Anonymous]

I dont have any advice that hasnt been offered but you sound like an amazing step mom and she is very lucky to have you. I think her father would be very proud of her graduating college and you continuing to help and support her along the way. Good job mom!

[Anonymous]

This is one of those times when you have given your best counsel regarding a decision to your son or daughter and you need to step back and let them take the reins (or wheel, in this case). If she lets her mother nag her into selling the vehicle she chose, then she will live with those consequences and learn from the experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:okay - I have a clear picture what is going on. You need to stop managing your daughter's relationship with her mom.
Each time you step in it teaches your daughter that she is not able to stand her ground with her mother, and it likely makes mom feel like her daughter is siding with you (rather than making her own choice). You have got to work with your daughter (or pay for a few sessions of therapy) on identifying her own preferences, communicating them, and not being overly worried about what you or her mom think of her. Help your daughter figure our how to do this and will have given her a better gift than a car.

+100 on helping her to identify her wants/needs and learning how to stand up for them and set boundaries. If she can't do this with her own mother, she will not be able to do it in romantic relationships, and that can create a lifetime of pain.