My good friend is having an abortion

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about your wedding and do not email that to her.

An abortion won't stop her from participating in anything, why would it??

+1 you make no sense OP. An abortion will knock her out for a few days not months. What's your issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about your wedding and do not email that to her.

An abortion won't stop her from participating in anything, why would it??

+1 you make no sense OP. An abortion will knock her out for a few days not months. What's your issue?

The only thing I can think of is OP is some sort of Pro-Lifer, and thinks because she would be devastated that EVERY woman who voluntarily CHOOSES to have one will lose her mind. Not the case, OP. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an abortion. It was emotionally stressful for reasons I won't get into, but physically, I was fine. It would not have affected anything related to being in a wedding for me. Honestly, the distraction might have been helpful.

Same.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like she's been an amazing friend to you when you've needed her. It's your turn to be there for her when she needs you.

[Anonymous]

She's your best friend and you don't know how to talk to her? Call her or visit with her. Talk to her about her life and her situation and how she's doing. Use what she says to gauge how to follow-up. If she seems stressed about the procedure, but still anxious to help with the wedding, but worried about her own availability, one solution is to have two MOH. But don't suggest this unless she expresses concern about being MOH.

How? Ask another friend to help share the work. When you ask that person, just say that due to personal issues, Larla will need some help with the MOH duties and you wonder if she'll be a second MOH and share the duties. When we got married, my wife had her two best friends as her only attendants who split the various duties. We called them both MOH. I had one best man and two ushers. The best man walked down the aisle first, the two ushers escorted the two MOH and all was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you could call to try to gauge how she is handling the experience. Some people aren't really bothered by it.

That sounded insensitive. I just meant some aren't very emotional about the experience.

Some people aren't emotionally bothered by it, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I've had an abortion and was an emotional mess. I had morning sickness and constant cravings. I was in a shitty situation as she is now and trying to be happy for other people was definitely tough, for me at least. I'm just basing this off my experiences though, she may handle it completely different. And I'm not planning on talking to her about bowing out of the wedding party unless she brings it up.

I had an abortion and was NOT an emotional mess. I spent a day and a half crying about it when I had it done, and then was able to be sad about it in the shower or at bedtime while still fully participating in life. I was still able to be happy for others.

I also was NOT an emotional mess after mine. The physical discomfort lasted a day or two. The mental relief was immediate. Just because you terminated a pregnancy doesn't mean she's going to respond the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I've had an abortion and was an emotional mess. I had morning sickness and constant cravings. I was in a shitty situation as she is now and trying to be happy for other people was definitely tough, for me at least. I'm just basing this off my experiences though, she may handle it completely different. And I'm not planning on talking to her about bowing out of the wedding party unless she brings it up.

I had an abortion and was NOT an emotional mess. I spent a day and a half crying about it when I had it done, and then was able to be sad about it in the shower or at bedtime while still fully participating in life. I was still able to be happy for others.

Yes, this. My experience as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I've had an abortion and was an emotional mess. I had morning sickness and constant cravings. I was in a shitty situation as she is now and trying to be happy for other people was definitely tough, for me at least. I'm just basing this off my experiences though, she may handle it completely different. And I'm not planning on talking to her about bowing out of the wedding party unless she brings it up.

I had an abortion and was NOT an emotional mess. I spent a day and a half crying about it when I had it done, and then was able to be sad about it in the shower or at bedtime while still fully participating in life. I was still able to be happy for others.

I also was NOT an emotional mess after mine. The physical discomfort lasted a day or two. The mental relief was immediate. Just because you terminated a pregnancy doesn't mean she's going to respond the same way.

Ick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop worrying about your wedding and do not email that to her.

An abortion won't stop her from participating in anything, why would it??

+1 you make no sense OP. An abortion will knock her out for a few days not months. What's your issue?

OP's issue is that for a day or two two months prior to her wedding that her good friend has the temerity to focus on her own life. It may or may not last longer than that but even that amount of distraction is too much for OP. She isn't really concerned about her friend. At all.