Am I required to maintain my children's relationship with their father's parents?

[Anonymous]

I have been in this situation and I would never deny my kids a relationship with either set of grandparents. I know Moms who have been difficult and they have paid later. The kids are watching.

[Anonymous]

Can you drop them off on Saturday and the grandparents bring them home on Sunday? Still 3 hours for you, but your visit is shorter and the kids is longer (which might be what the grandparents prefer anyway). And you get a little time to yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what others think my level of obligation to my ILs is in this situation:

My husband often travels (both internationally and domestically) for work. Some months he isn't gone much, but other months, he can be gone for two weeks at a time, and even occasionally, he will be gone for a month if he is working overseas.

What would you expect my obligation is to my ILs regarding our children in my husband's absence? Am I required to maintain this relationship? I should add, they are about 1.25 hours away, and we are civil but not friendly. Oddly, my ILs will go through my husband if they want to see the kids, completely bypassing me, knowing he is out of town.

I think it is really odd that you think of it as an obligation to maintain a relationship between your child and your child's grandparents.

Maybe my perspective is different. My father just passed away and I am finding all the wasted time believing that I had more time to cultivate a relationship with him is weighing on me.

But - they are family. They may not be your parents, but they are your child's grandparents. And they will not be around forever. I understand you are tired, but the fact that you wouldn't take the time to let your child's grandparents visit - use it as a moment for yourself to rest and relax - there seems to be more to the story.

Personally speaking, I would be pissed that my DW thought so little of my parents that she would act the way you are acting.

Like another PP said - it's not about you - it's what is best for the kids.

And as long as there isn't something you aren't saying and the grandparents are good to your child, then you need to think about what is more important - you being tired - or you child having a good relationship with their family.
Yes
So strange.

I think your response is so strange. OP do what works for your busy life!

I might be missing the part where OP said she is tired...

But - what I did read is that they are an hour and fifteen minutes away - you aren't that close - which I bet is the bigger issue - you are civil but not friendly -

OP - just admit that you don't really like your ILs and don't want to spend time with them.

It's not about the grandchildren - it's about you.

And there's nothing wrong with that. No one can make you, nor should they make you, like someone.

But - be honest about it so that your DH can understand what is actually going on instead of the smokescreen you are throwing at him about distances, etc...

[Anonymous]

No, that's for him to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, that's for him to do.

These people are MARRIED - not divorced.

When they got MARRIED, they all became FAMILY.

It's not the father's job to maintain a relationship with THEIR child's grandparents. That is the FAMILY'S responsibility.

What is wrong with you people?

Why get married if you act like separate entities?

[Anonymous]

Not in a million years. I wouldn't expect my husband to make time for my parents and tote our daughter over to see them during times I was traveling for work and they live 10 miles away. So there is no way I would drive an hour each way to spend time with my MIL. She can't drive reliably so I wouldn't have her come here.

[Anonymous]

I can't even believe this is a serious question.

And they only live 90 minutes away? And you have to ASK if you should help maintain that relationship?

With their GRANDPARENTS.


WOW. Just wow.


I really hope this was just a troll post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in a million years. I wouldn't expect my husband to make time for my parents and tote our daughter over to see them during times I was traveling for work and they live 10 miles away. So there is no way I would drive an hour each way to spend time with my MIL. She can't drive reliably so I wouldn't have her come here.

That is so profoundly F'd up I don't even have the words for it.