My DD feels like a failure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will totally get flamed for this, but I think in our quest for women's equality (which I totally support) we somehow minimized the importance (for most women) of finding a good partner in life. I think most adults are happier in a good marriage rather than single and society used to be more focused on getting young adults to meet, pairing people off, etc. Now you are pretty much on your own to find a mate and social activities (other than dating websites) are not gearing toward match making.

It wouldn't matter how successful my career was, if I was 31 and unmarried, I would be miserable.

I think you're onto something PP, but my thought is that society TELLS us that we cannot be complete without a life partner or marriage and 2.5 kids and a dog and cat, so we are conditioned to believe that these things are necessary in order to be happy.

I'm happy, and content, with a job and kid - and *gasp* no intent to ever have a husband. I don't want one. My life is full without one. However, I tell that to my friends and they always, without fail, respond that I'll find someone someday, and don't get sterilized because of you get married you'll need more babies. Society truly doesn't believe that a single woman can be happy long term. I don't buy it, but most people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will totally get flamed for this, but I think in our quest for women's equality (which I totally support) we somehow minimized the importance (for most women) of finding a good partner in life. I think most adults are happier in a good marriage rather than single and society used to be more focused on getting young adults to meet, pairing people off, etc. Now you are pretty much on your own to find a mate and social activities (other than dating websites) are not gearing toward match making.

It wouldn't matter how successful my career was, if I was 31 and unmarried, I would be miserable.

I think you make a very interesting point, pp.

When I was 31, I was unmarried and very miserable. But I did a lot of self work to make sure I was solid before I found a life partner. It happened, but took some time. I agree with the poster who reminded us that life is a long journey. I now have a husband and two great kids, and I am glad that I didn't rush in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will totally get flamed for this, but I think in our quest for women's equality (which I totally support) we somehow minimized the importance (for most women) of finding a good partner in life. I think most adults are happier in a good marriage rather than single and society used to be more focused on getting young adults to meet, pairing people off, etc. Now you are pretty much on your own to find a mate and social activities (other than dating websites) are not gearing toward match making.

It wouldn't matter how successful my career was, if I was 31 and unmarried, I would be miserable.

I didn't marry until my late 30's and I have to say that I loved being single. It was all about me, my career and my bucket list. I got it out of my system and in my late 30s got prego by accident, so I married. We are still married, no regrets for the timing of my life.

Go by your own time table. How many people are on their second marriage by early 30s? Likely because they married too young the first time.

[Anonymous]

Help her find a therapist that she feels comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

OP, just out of curiosity did you see this coming?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have to disagree with some of you who say that relationships are what will make her happy. She probably compares herself to me. I was 18 when I married, 58 years old now and yet DH cheated on me several times and I wonder if I would have been better off alone. She no doubt holds our relationship to the ideal but it is far from that. I had kids very early as well which a lot of women in our family did.
She needs to work on herself more than anything, that is the first step.
I didn't see this coming, no. She is very happy on the outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will totally get flamed for this, but I think in our quest for women's equality (which I totally support) we somehow minimized the importance (for most women) of finding a good partner in life. I think most adults are happier in a good marriage rather than single and society used to be more focused on getting young adults to meet, pairing people off, etc. Now you are pretty much on your own to find a mate and social activities (other than dating websites) are not gearing toward match making.

It wouldn't matter how successful my career was, if I was 31 and unmarried, I would be miserable.

I think you're onto something PP, but my thought is that society TELLS us that we cannot be complete without a life partner or marriage and 2.5 kids and a dog and cat, so we are conditioned to believe that these things are necessary in order to be happy.

I'm happy, and content, with a job and kid - and *gasp* no intent to ever have a husband. I don't want one. My life is full without one. However, I tell that to my friends and they always, without fail, respond that I'll find someone someday, and don't get sterilized because of you get married you'll need more babies. Society truly doesn't believe that a single woman can be happy long term. I don't buy it, but most people do.

I'm 28 and single. I don't feel like I need a husband, but I'm kind of worried I'll wake up at 32 and realize I've made a huge mistake.

I've dated in DC, and just don't feel like there's tons of awesome men out there. Also I'm focused on my career and traveling. I feel like if I want to have kids, I can do that on my own too.