When did your teens or young adult children start paying for their own things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13 and in either 6th or 7th grade I stopped paying for gifts she wants to give her friends. Also, I'll pay for her skincare, but not her makeup. Clothes she needs, not what she wants. She bought her own umbrella. She has to buy her own after-school snacks out with her friends.

Where does she get the money from?

Weekly babysitting.

[Anonymous]

My 8th grDer pays for social stuff and junk he wants as well- he uses bday money, allowance and babysitting gigs to pay for it

[Anonymous]

We paid for/are paying for all of college and living expenses but both kids earn/earned money in the summer to cover things like entertainment and spring break. One DC has just started working but now lives at home. She will not pay for rent or food but will pay for all other expenses including health care expenses. She is still on our insurance this year because it made no difference to our premium but she may move to the work provided plan next year after seeing how her expenses go this year. The workplace plan is way better than our crappy exchange plan so it may be cheaper even if she has to pay the premium. She is still on our family cell phone plan because it's only $25/month for an extra phone. She should be able to save money to provide a cushion when she moves out.

The reality is that many entry level salaries are hard to live on. DC earns about 3 times what I earned in a crappy entry level job but my rent was proportionally way less than rents today. I paid $200-250/month in a group house that would run $800-$1000 today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We paid for/are paying for all of college and living expenses but both kids earn/earned money in the summer to cover things like entertainment and spring break. One DC has just started working but now lives at home. She will not pay for rent or food but will pay for all other expenses including health care expenses. She is still on our insurance this year because it made no difference to our premium but she may move to the work provided plan next year after seeing how her expenses go this year. The workplace plan is way better than our crappy exchange plan so it may be cheaper even if she has to pay the premium. She is still on our family cell phone plan because it's only $25/month for an extra phone. She should be able to save money to provide a cushion when she moves out.

The reality is that many entry level salaries are hard to live on. DC earns about 3 times what I earned in a crappy entry level job but my rent was proportionally way less than rents today. I paid $200-250/month in a group house that would run $800-$1000 today.

Yes, but minimum wage was like $3.00/hour when you were a teen/young adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid for/are paying for all of college and living expenses but both kids earn/earned money in the summer to cover things like entertainment and spring break. One DC has just started working but now lives at home. She will not pay for rent or food but will pay for all other expenses including health care expenses. She is still on our insurance this year because it made no difference to our premium but she may move to the work provided plan next year after seeing how her expenses go this year. The workplace plan is way better than our crappy exchange plan so it may be cheaper even if she has to pay the premium. She is still on our family cell phone plan because it's only $25/month for an extra phone. She should be able to save money to provide a cushion when she moves out.

The reality is that many entry level salaries are hard to live on. DC earns about 3 times what I earned in a crappy entry level job but my rent was proportionally way less than rents today. I paid $200-250/month in a group house that would run $800-$1000 today.

Yes, but minimum wage was like $3.00/hour when you were a teen/young adult.

Not my point. DC is earning 3 times (a little less actually) what I earned in an entry level job, but rents are 4-5x what they were then. So rent takes a higher proportion of income. Health care is also much higher. I don't even remember it back then, and I think my employer may have provided employed health insurance.

[Anonymous]

I think it's really sad that so many parents are still providing for their kids FAR into adulthood. There is value for young adults in working for their needs and even struggling a little bit. I'm not saying parents should let their kids live out on the streets or starve to death, but maybe they should experience the realities that come with entry level salary/just starting out and not maintaining the same lifestyle that people who have been working 20-30 years have.

[Anonymous]

For my kids under 18, it depends on what it is. We pay for needs, and some wants. Most wants they must pay for on their own. For instance, my daughter had to pay for her own facial piercings. For my adults, as soon as they are 18, they MUST have jobs and must pay for everything. IF they have an emergency and need a hand up we will give them one, but they have to pay us back. They are in their 20's, and emergencies rarely happen. We have taught them how to manage their money well, and we have also taught them that there is nothing free in life. Everything worth having is worth working for, and you value it more if you earn it for yourself.

[Anonymous]

My kids know we'll pay through college for reasonable things (tuition, housing, car upkeep, phones, food) but won't pay for any spring break trips or concert tickets, etc.

Even now that they're in HS, we do two main shopping trips (spring and before school starts) and we buy all the clothes and shoes they want (within reason). If either wants something specific between those trips, they use their money. If they want to go to a concert or do other entertainment things, that's funded by them for the most part unless it's a family outing. DS has turned into a sneakerhead and is constantly buying/selling/trading those but uses his own money. DD has a weird obsession with phone cases (so random) and uses her money for those.

I have some friends who also parent this way (take care of what they deem as necessities and leave the extras up to the kids) and some who are even more extreme with making their kids "earn" the items they buy them. I don't believe in making a kid go without school supplies because he hasn't yet earned them from you doing chores. I also don't believe in making a kid miss out on a choral concert because he didn't make enough money to buy himself a white button-down shirt. How is causing a kid to be behind with his school work and get dropped a letter grade because he missed a required concert teaching him a lesson? That friend is also not letting him attend prom unless he can earn enough to pay for his tux rental. He just wrecked his car last week and has to pay the $500 deductible back, so he's already told my DD he won't make enough in time to pay back the $500 and go to prom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids know we'll pay through college for reasonable things (tuition, housing, car upkeep, phones, food) but won't pay for any spring break trips or concert tickets, etc.

Even now that they're in HS, we do two main shopping trips (spring and before school starts) and we buy all the clothes and shoes they want (within reason). If either wants something specific between those trips, they use their money. If they want to go to a concert or do other entertainment things, that's funded by them for the most part unless it's a family outing. DS has turned into a sneakerhead and is constantly buying/selling/trading those but uses his own money. DD has a weird obsession with phone cases (so random) and uses her money for those.

I have some friends who also parent this way (take care of what they deem as necessities and leave the extras up to the kids) and some who are even more extreme with making their kids "earn" the items they buy them. I don't believe in making a kid go without school supplies because he hasn't yet earned them from you doing chores. I also don't believe in making a kid miss out on a choral concert because he didn't make enough money to buy himself a white button-down shirt. How is causing a kid to be behind with his school work and get dropped a letter grade because he missed a required concert teaching him a lesson? That friend is also not letting him attend prom unless he can earn enough to pay for his tux rental. He just wrecked his car last week and has to pay the $500 deductible back, so he's already told my DD he won't make enough in time to pay back the $500 and go to prom.

I agree with you on the chorus attire. I'm a PP who had to start buying all my own clothes with babysitting money starting at age 18. Even though I had to buy my own "regular" clothes, my parents did provide me with the required dress for Orchestra performances.
But I don't think its such a bad thing to make the kid pay for prom himself--and if he can't afford it because he wrecked a car, that's a good lesson for him! I'd actually think less of parents who gave their kid, who just wrecked a car, money to go to prom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids know we'll pay through college for reasonable things (tuition, housing, car upkeep, phones, food) but won't pay for any spring break trips or concert tickets, etc.

Even now that they're in HS, we do two main shopping trips (spring and before school starts) and we buy all the clothes and shoes they want (within reason). If either wants something specific between those trips, they use their money. If they want to go to a concert or do other entertainment things, that's funded by them for the most part unless it's a family outing. DS has turned into a sneakerhead and is constantly buying/selling/trading those but uses his own money. DD has a weird obsession with phone cases (so random) and uses her money for those.

I have some friends who also parent this way (take care of what they deem as necessities and leave the extras up to the kids) and some who are even more extreme with making their kids "earn" the items they buy them. I don't believe in making a kid go without school supplies because he hasn't yet earned them from you doing chores. I also don't believe in making a kid miss out on a choral concert because he didn't make enough money to buy himself a white button-down shirt. How is causing a kid to be behind with his school work and get dropped a letter grade because he missed a required concert teaching him a lesson? That friend is also not letting him attend prom unless he can earn enough to pay for his tux rental. He just wrecked his car last week and has to pay the $500 deductible back, so he's already told my DD he won't make enough in time to pay back the $500 and go to prom.

I agree with you on the chorus attire. I'm a PP who had to start buying all my own clothes with babysitting money starting at age 18. Even though I had to buy my own "regular" clothes, my parents did provide me with the required dress for Orchestra performances.
But I don't think its such a bad thing to make the kid pay for prom himself--and if he can't afford it because he wrecked a car, that's a good lesson for him! I'd actually think less of parents who gave their kid, who just wrecked a car, money to go to prom.

sorry, that should have said "age 13" (for buying clothes with babysitting money)

[Anonymous]

Once he started working, at 18.

[Anonymous]

My 17 year old has a job and pays for all his clothes and shoes beyond basics, and any food, ticket cost, etc when he goes out w it's friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13 and in either 6th or 7th grade I stopped paying for gifts she wants to give her friends. Also, I'll pay for her skincare, but not her makeup. Clothes she needs, not what she wants. She bought her own umbrella. She has to buy her own after-school snacks out with her friends.

Where does she get the money from?

Mine is still small to pay her own bills but I try to make her understand the value of money by saving the pocket money she gets from her father to pay for any luxurious stuff she wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13 and in either 6th or 7th grade I stopped paying for gifts she wants to give her friends. Also, I'll pay for her skincare, but not her makeup. Clothes she needs, not what she wants. She bought her own umbrella. She has to buy her own after-school snacks out with her friends.

Where does she get the money from?

Mine is still small to pay her own bills but I try to make her understand the value of money by saving the pocket money she gets from her father to pay for any luxurious stuff she wants.

[Anonymous]

Once graduated from college. Then, they are an adult with a safety net - for true emergencies only.