Reply to When did your teens or young adult children start paying for their own things?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids know we'll pay through college for reasonable things (tuition, housing, car upkeep, phones, food) but won't pay for any spring break trips or concert tickets, etc.

Even now that they're in HS, we do two main shopping trips (spring and before school starts) and we buy all the clothes and shoes they want (within reason).  If either wants something specific between those trips, they use their money.  If they want to go to a concert or do other entertainment things, that's funded by them for the most part unless it's a family outing.  DS has turned into a sneakerhead and is constantly buying/selling/trading those but uses his own money.  DD has a weird obsession with phone cases (so random) and uses her money for those.

I have some friends who also parent this way (take care of what they deem as necessities and leave the extras up to the kids) and some who are even more extreme with making their kids "earn" the items they buy them.  I don't believe in making a kid go without school supplies because he hasn't yet earned them from you doing chores.  I also don't believe in making a kid miss out on a choral concert because he didn't make enough money to buy himself a white button-down shirt.  How is causing a kid to be behind with his school work and get dropped a letter grade because he missed a required concert teaching him a lesson?  That friend is also not letting him attend prom unless he can earn enough to pay for his tux rental.  He just wrecked his car last week and has to pay the $500 deductible back, so he's already told my DD he won't make enough in time to pay back the $500 and go to prom.       [/quote]

I agree with you on the chorus attire.   I'm a PP who had to start buying all my own clothes with babysitting money starting at age 18.  Even though I had to buy my own "regular" clothes, my parents did provide me with the required dress for Orchestra performances.
But I don't think its such a bad thing to make the kid pay for prom himself--and if he can't afford it because he wrecked a car, that's a good lesson for him!  I'd actually think less of parents who gave their kid, who just wrecked a car, money to go to prom.[/quote]

sorry, that should have said "age 13" (for buying clothes with babysitting money)[/quote]

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