When did your teens or young adult children start paying for their own things?

[Anonymous]

My parents paid for everything in college, but I was a D-1 athlete and not permitted to have a job.

In high school, they would buy me school clothes and necessities, but any goodies or extras I wanted came out of my paycheck. I had to save up for my computer I would take to college.

In law school, my grandpa paid my rent but I paid everything else.

Truly out on my own at age 27.

I'm 37 now and my mom still likes to throw me some money here and there. I think it makes her feel good so I don't mind. It's not often. She'll give me $200 to take on vacation (I'm not married BTW) or buy me things she thinks I'd like when she's out and about or on a trip, like chocolates or a pair of earrings just because. I appreciate her and I know I'm lucky.

[Anonymous]

My kid has paid for some of her own stuff since elementary school. She has gotten an allowance since 3rd grade. Back then, if she wanted a new game for her Nintendo DS, she had to pay for it -- they were about $30 new. Now she pays for makeup, luxury toiletries, Amazon movies, and other stuff I don't want to pay for.

[Anonymous]

Our oldest 2 children are in college with another headed there next year, one in high school and one who is six. We pay for everything, including spending money since we want the kids to focus on their academics and athletics (the 2 in college are athletes). I presume we will continue to pay full freight for grad school also. Both the college students had internships this summer and they earned a few thousand each, which they used that for little expenses at school. Our children also understand that the privileges of not being required to have jobs means that they have responsibilities to our family. This aligns with how my husband and I were raised.

We are in a comfortable-enough financial position that we can do this. If we weren't then I imagine that we would be doing things differently. So there is no judgement, just a difference in perspective.

Also, our children are not spendthrifts. I'm very frugal and our kids have picked up a lot of money-wise habits from me. Our children see that we work hard for our money and they think twice before asking for something because they understand the concept of 'enough'. We have enough and we don't need 'more'.

On the other hand, I have cousins whose children need swift kicks in the seat of their pants because the kids are ungrateful wretches who will never have enough money. Those kids needed to have chores and jobs when they were younger, and now that they are in their 20's and 30's they need to be cut off from the Bank of Mom and Dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 13 and in either 6th or 7th grade I stopped paying for gifts she wants to give her friends. Also, I'll pay for her skincare, but not her makeup. Clothes she needs, not what she wants. She bought her own umbrella. She has to buy her own after-school snacks out with her friends.

Where does she get the money from?

Mom and dad

[Anonymous]

Op, why are you asking? Are you the same poster who always asks these very general, open-ended questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, why are you asking? Are you the same poster who always asks these very general, open-ended questions?

You think there is ONE poster who asks general, open ended questions? LOL


I think you just asked one. Can you be more specific and provide examples of threads that you think OP started?

[Anonymous]

I think it's great so many people give/have/have had such help. I started paying for everything - rent, clothes, bills, car insurance, medical insurance, and taking out loans for tuition - when I was 18. I'm 31 now. Definitely plan on subsidizing my children through college and grad school, to varying extents. Sure, I learned to be responsible but I really struggled for years. My parents were UMC, could have given me money but didn't.

[Anonymous]

It has been a slow ramp up. In HS, they paid for social activities. In college, they are responsible for everything that is not tuition, fees and R&B- but they get some things for Christmas and birthdays (eg clothing). Our oldest is a sophomore, and he will get a hand me down car this summer for his summer internship- we will pay for the insurance- but he will do the rest as well as pay for his living expenses over the summer during the length of the full time part of the internship (it goes to 12 hours a week during the school year). He is still on our phone plan- I don't know when that will end. He plans on living on campus again next year, but senior year when he moves off- he will pay for a few more things (we will probably give him what we would have paid on campus and he can budget it out over the year). By the time he graduates, he should be on his own.

His brother is a senior in HS, and we will do it similarly.

Both do not spend very much and save quite a bit. They seem to have a decent handle on money and understand a bit of its value. If anything they are like their parents and need to learn how to spend money rather than save it all.

[Anonymous]

My oldest is a HS senior. He got a job at age 17. From that point on, he paid for all activities and non necessities. We do pay for family activities when he can come with us and sometimes treat him. He will often drive siblings to activities and he does the work on our vehicles (brakes, etc. ) so we pay his car insurance and we pay for some of the gas he uses. He will be responsible for buying himself a car and paying for some of his school bills after HS graduation. We don't make it so that he struggles but he does need to learn how to manage money which we can help with since he is living with us.

[Anonymous]

My DD is 14. Her job is school. I pay for everything.

For me, I was not truly independent until I finished grad school.

In college, My parents paid my tuition/fees/books, and gave me a stipend for living -- $500/mo. In grad school, I was 90% independent. I paid my overall expenses off my stipend, but my parents paid for my car (10 yo honda civic) and travel home (air fair).

[Anonymous]

I am 25 and being subsidized (healthcare, phone plan, insurance, shared Netflix). I'm out of school but have a very low-paying job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has been a slow ramp up. In HS, they paid for social activities. In college, they are responsible for everything that is not tuition, fees and R&B- but they get some things for Christmas and birthdays (eg clothing). Our oldest is a sophomore, and he will get a hand me down car this summer for his summer internship- we will pay for the insurance- but he will do the rest as well as pay for his living expenses over the summer during the length of the full time part of the internship (it goes to 12 hours a week during the school year). He is still on our phone plan- I don't know when that will end. He plans on living on campus again next year, but senior year when he moves off- he will pay for a few more things (we will probably give him what we would have paid on campus and he can budget it out over the year). By the time he graduates, he should be on his own.

His brother is a senior in HS, and we will do it similarly.

Both do not spend very much and save quite a bit. They seem to have a decent handle on money and understand a bit of its value. If anything they are like their parents and need to learn how to spend money rather than save it all.

I will add that one thing we are doing and plan on continuing until they are graduated and in their first "real" job is to set up their ROTH IRAs based on the small incomes they currently have. The idea is that they continue when they are out in the world.

[Anonymous]

I started working at around 12 and paying for my own fun stuff.

By 8th grade I was buying my own clothes and paying for fun stuff/socializing.

I put myself through college.

My oldest is in hs and I still pay for everything, except for his splurge purchases like the new computer he saved for with lawn mowing money.

If he did more socializing beyond texting and online gaming, I would happily pay for it just to get him out of the house and socializing in person

[Anonymous]

I do not expect them to pay for anything till they get their first career job out of college. Our children are low maintainence however. They got full merit scholarships in college and they are not in a partying life-style.

They have access to our Amazon account, Uber account, our various online shopping accounts for clothes etc and various prepaid visa cards. They hang out with kids who are working in college and watching every dime. They know that they are lucky to not worry about money, but since their friends have their feet firmly on the ground, so do they.

[Anonymous]

Starting in 8th grade, I babysat a lot. So starting then I started paying for all my clothes, makeup, shampoo (though my mom did pay for me to get my hair cut at a nice salon, and also paid for me to get my eyebrows waxed) and any outings with my friends.

College years--we had a rocky relationship. Some years I was completely on my own, other years they paid for my tuition and gave me a monthly amount that covered about 2/3 of my rent. I had to come up with the rest of the rent money, utilities, food, car payment and gas (though they paid car insurance), plus all the other stuff I had been paying for since junior high.

I got married right out of college (age 23-it took me an extra year to graduate since I had to work to cover my basic living expenses) and of course after that, my parents didn't give me (and my husband) any money at all.