Coming to terms with your kids getting a worse education than you did

[Anonymous]

OP, why are you acting so helpless and passive? You're an adult now. If you're not happy with the quality of your schools, do something. Take part in the community and political process, and work for change.

Supplement your children's education yourself. You should teach your children languages, give them important books to read, take them to activities and places where they'll learn new things, and discuss everything.

My children have easy access to things in school that I never had in the 60s and 70s. My classes never had fewer than 35 to 40 kids, and we had no gifted centers, no AP classes, no computers or Internet, and no free musical instrument instruction.

My real education as a young person came from pushing myself to read and think about great books, teach myself languages, instruments, and various skills. My father encouraged discussion and philosophical debate, and we lived all over the world for his job.

We never stop learning new things, and it's easier than ever now. You really have no excuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are you acting so helpless and passive? You're an adult now. If you're not happy with the quality of your schools, do something. Take part in the community and political process, and work for change.

Supplement your children's education yourself. You should teach your children languages, give them important books to read, take them to activities and places where they'll learn new things, and discuss everything.

My children have easy access to things in school that I never had in the 60s and 70s. My classes never had fewer than 35 to 40 kids, and we had no gifted centers, no AP classes, no computers or Internet, and no free musical instrument instruction.

My real education as a young person came from pushing myself to read and think about great books, teach myself languages, instruments, and various skills. My father encouraged discussion and philosophical debate, and we lived all over the world for his job.

We never stop learning new things, and it's easier than ever now. You really have no excuse.

This falls into the category of "my children's education is better than mine was and I don't know what your problem is." Yes, I have been involved in their schools for close to 10 years now. I have been on boards, have run enrichment programs, and have endlessly fundraised. I have cut back significantly on work just so I can spend more time with my kids and they can do enriching things. I appreciate the motivation you're trying to give here, but honestly I'm demoralized and tired. I don't want to have to save every school my kids go to. If your children's schools were like this you would understand, and you might not attribute all of your good fortune to yourself.

[Anonymous]

This is OP and if you've read this far, don't feel the need to reply that no, your child's education is much better than your own. If I had posted that I had developed a painful limp, I would like to think you would not post just to say "gee, my leg feels fine!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP and if you've read this far, don't feel the need to reply that no, your child's education is much better than your own. If I had posted that I had developed a painful limp, I would like to think you would not post just to say "gee, my leg feels fine!"

You're misreading the replies, OP. People are trying to remind you that much of the world struggles and didn't have your idyllic childhood, and that your kids' education is your responsibility. You've got a long row to hoe in bringing up your kids. Of course it's exhausting. You think you sacrifice for your kids' education? Guess what, many people do, far more than you. Our legs don't feel just fine, but we're not sitting on the sidewalk whining about it, thinking we're the only ones who have it rough and that we're entitled to be carried around and spoon-fed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP and if you've read this far, don't feel the need to reply that no, your child's education is much better than your own. If I had posted that I had developed a painful limp, I would like to think you would not post just to say "gee, my leg feels fine!"

You're misreading the replies, OP. People are trying to remind you that much of the world struggles and didn't have your idyllic childhood, and that your kids' education is your responsibility. You've got a long row to hoe in bringing up your kids. Of course it's exhausting. You think you sacrifice for your kids' education? Guess what, many people do, far more than you. Our legs don't feel just fine, but we're not sitting on the sidewalk whining about it, thinking we're the only ones who have it rough and that we're entitled to be carried around and spoon-fed.

If you read back through, people are saying "my kids are getting a better education than me." I believe yours was the only post referring to the complaint as entitled and spoon-fed.

[Anonymous]

After rereading OPs original post, I would choose to go to great lengths to change your situation. We were concerned about the quality of education and uprooted everything to move. We did a lot of research and it was the best decision we could have made. My children go to FCPS but we have been so happy with their school. It is not the same everywhere in the county but they have opportunities DH and I never had as children. We didn't have any of this in our old neighborhood. Look into private schools or move if you are unhappy.

[Anonymous]

I went to an elite day school and wife went to public her entire life. She refused to entertain the idea of private for our daughter, and the differences are pretty nuts. What can I do? Happy wife, happy life, so they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why are you acting so helpless and passive? You're an adult now. If you're not happy with the quality of your schools, do something. Take part in the community and political process, and work for change.

Supplement your children's education yourself. You should teach your children languages, give them important books to read, take them to activities and places where they'll learn new things, and discuss everything.

My children have easy access to things in school that I never had in the 60s and 70s. My classes never had fewer than 35 to 40 kids, and we had no gifted centers, no AP classes, no computers or Internet, and no free musical instrument instruction.

My real education as a young person came from pushing myself to read and think about great books, teach myself languages, instruments, and various skills. My father encouraged discussion and philosophical debate, and we lived all over the world for his job.

We never stop learning new things, and it's easier than ever now. You really have no excuse.

+1 million

[Anonymous]

I hear you, op. I went to public school in the NY suburbs in the 80's, and also got a great education. We were also in a straightforward middle class neighborhood and I think that was a huge benefit - people valued education highly where we lived and it showed in the schools.

We're moving back to NoVa this summer, and we're probably putting our kids in Catholic school. I feel like it's our best chance at replicating the education I had in public schools 30-40 years ago.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a country that has one of the best elementary (1-9) educations in Europe. I had a chance to learn 6 languages. In high school I chose humanities track and my degree is in finance from US.
My elementary school math helped me through the math classes in US college (had only 3x45 min math in HS).
My oldest in in elementary school now. He is way more knowledgeable than I was at his age. He is not really into languages, but I think even his foreign language is better than mine was at that age. Can't even compare the info and learning aids available to him vs to me as a child.
Our 3-year old is learning 3 languages and already knows his letters. We speak several languages at home, so he doesn't really have a choice. He also know his ABCs.
I didn't learn to read until I was 7. It's just how things were done back in a day. Kids didn't go anywhere alone, so need to know how to read. Our 3-year old is definitely way ahead of his parents. I wish I had a Russian nanny or a teacher in daycare. Would've save me many years of struggling to learn that darn language.
Right now they are way ahead of us at 3 and 10, but I have to make sure it continues.
Most successful and happy people from my childhood found their calling. I still haven't, but I'm think I'm about to. I think it's k-12 education. There is just so much we as parents can do to help our children, and yes, finding a school that our children and we love, is part of it.
So, no, I don't think they will get a worse education than I did.
I forgot to mention my great teachers. They were born to be teachers, chose from the top students. My language teacher speaks 8 languages, is a linguist and a historian. most of them are still teachers and we keep contact via FB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, op. I went to public school in the NY suburbs in the 80's, and also got a great education. We were also in a straightforward middle class neighborhood and I think that was a huge benefit - people valued education highly where we lived and it showed in the schools.

We're moving back to NoVa this summer, and we're probably putting our kids in Catholic school. I feel like it's our best chance at replicating the education I had in public schools 30-40 years ago.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a country that has one of the best elementary (1-9) educations in Europe. I had a chance to learn 6 languages. In high school I chose humanities track and my degree is in finance from US.
My elementary school math helped me through the math classes in US college (had only 3x45 min math in HS).
My oldest in in elementary school now. He is way more knowledgeable than I was at his age. He is not really into languages, but I think even his foreign language is better than mine was at that age. Can't even compare the info and learning aids available to him vs to me as a child.
Our 3-year old is learning 3 languages and already knows his letters. We speak several languages at home, so he doesn't really have a choice. He also know his ABCs.
I didn't learn to read until I was 7. It's just how things were done back in a day. Kids didn't go anywhere alone, so need to know how to read. Our 3-year old is definitely way ahead of his parents. I wish I had a Russian nanny or a teacher in daycare. Would've save me many years of struggling to learn that darn language.
Right now they are way ahead of us at 3 and 10, but I have to make sure it continues.
Most successful and happy people from my childhood found their calling. I still haven't, but I'm think I'm about to. I think it's k-12 education. There is just so much we as parents can do to help our children, and yes, finding a school that our children and we love, is part of it.
So, no, I don't think they will get a worse education than I did.
I forgot to mention my great teachers. They were born to be teachers, chose from the top students. My language teacher speaks 8 languages, is a linguist and a historian. most of them are still teachers and we keep contact via FB.

+1

Other countries hold their teachers in much higher esteem than the U.S., including this area. You could start by making sure that your teachers get paid competitively (I am talking to you, Fairfax County, which is losing teachers to neighboring counties like Loudon and -gasp!- Arlington, by the minute - not that you would admit this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a country that has one of the best elementary (1-9) educations in Europe. I had a chance to learn 6 languages. In high school I chose humanities track and my degree is in finance from US.
My elementary school math helped me through the math classes in US college (had only 3x45 min math in HS).
My oldest in in elementary school now. He is way more knowledgeable than I was at his age. He is not really into languages, but I think even his foreign language is better than mine was at that age. Can't even compare the info and learning aids available to him vs to me as a child.
Our 3-year old is learning 3 languages and already knows his letters. We speak several languages at home, so he doesn't really have a choice. He also know his ABCs.
I didn't learn to read until I was 7. It's just how things were done back in a day. Kids didn't go anywhere alone, so need to know how to read. Our 3-year old is definitely way ahead of his parents. I wish I had a Russian nanny or a teacher in daycare. Would've save me many years of struggling to learn that darn language.
Right now they are way ahead of us at 3 and 10, but I have to make sure it continues.
Most successful and happy people from my childhood found their calling. I still haven't, but I'm think I'm about to. I think it's k-12 education. There is just so much we as parents can do to help our children, and yes, finding a school that our children and we love, is part of it.
So, no, I don't think they will get a worse education than I did.
I forgot to mention my great teachers. They were born to be teachers, chose from the top students. My language teacher speaks 8 languages, is a linguist and a historian. most of them are still teachers and we keep contact via FB.

Finland?

[Anonymous]

My dad received a better classics/literary education than I had, but mine was better on the science front. My kids' schools don't stress spelling or cursive, they don't have the vocabulary I had at that age, but their science curriculum in middle school encompasses concepts I never knew till college...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you, op. I went to public school in the NY suburbs in the 80's, and also got a great education. We were also in a straightforward middle class neighborhood and I think that was a huge benefit - people valued education highly where we lived and it showed in the schools.

We're moving back to NoVa this summer, and we're probably putting our kids in Catholic school. I feel like it's our best chance at replicating the education I had in public schools 30-40 years ago.

You will not find a Catholic school in NoVa that can hold a candle to the better public schools.