Not sure if my 8 year old son is overweight or obese?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is more concerning that he won't let you weight him. That shows that somehow he has already been fat shamed. At this age, getting back to healthy weight is very easy since they grow so much, but already having body image problem at 8 seems really awful to me.

+1. My mom took me to weight watchers as a kid and I remember it as a horrible experience. She meant well and was trying to teach me healthy eating. What would have helped more was getting all of the unhealthy food and snacks out of our house, modeling healthy eating, letting me lots of healthy food instead of portion control of fatty/sugary food and doing active things as a family. I was overweight my entire childhood and became thin after moving away in college. I have not been an overweight adult but definitely have weight issues. Please don't give your child a complex.

[Anonymous]

One more thing, please do not post his photo online. It's not necessary.

[Anonymous]

Being overweight or obese at such a young age is very bad for his long-term health and puts him at risk for diabetes and, when he's older, a lot worse.

However I'm even more worried that he doesn't "let" you weigh him. Who's the parent here, OP? It seems has though it's not only the nutrition that's lacking, here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it is more concerning that he won't let you weight him. That shows that somehow he has already been fat shamed. At this age, getting back to healthy weight is very easy since they grow so much, but already having body image problem at 8 seems really awful to me.

+1. My mom took me to weight watchers as a kid and I remember it as a horrible experience. She meant well and was trying to teach me healthy eating. What would have helped more was getting all of the unhealthy food and snacks out of our house, modeling healthy eating, letting me lots of healthy food instead of portion control of fatty/sugary food and doing active things as a family. I was overweight my entire childhood and became thin after moving away in college. I have not been an overweight adult but definitely have weight issues. Please don't give your child a complex.

This stuck out to me too. I had a mom who was obsessed with my weight and harped about it constantly but didn't do anything to help and made me miserable.

Now, as a mom to a 10 year old, I apologize for saying this, but I really don't understand the difficulty. The majority of meals are eaten at home or under the supervision of a parent. Parents decide which activities their children are in. Serve lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and lean meats. Make healthful meals that actually fill him up. Have nutritious snacks. Don't keep junk food in the house. Sign him up for sports. Do activities as a family. Don't mention his weight or make him feel bad about it. Keep the focus on being healthy.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but my 8yo's BMI is in the 65th percentile. The dr didn't say anything but is that considered overweight? Child doesn't look chubby to me - even has well-defined muscles. But I have body image issues so I wanted a reality check.

[Anonymous]

If you have him on a strict diet and you're ashamed of him, you are only making the problem worse.

[Anonymous]

This stuck out to me too. I had a mom who was obsessed with my weight and harped about it constantly but didn't do anything to help and made me miserable.

Now, as a mom to a 10 year old, I apologize for saying this, but I really don't understand the difficulty. The majority of meals are eaten at home or under the supervision of a parent. Parents decide which activities their children are in. Serve lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and lean meats. Make healthful meals that actually fill him up. Have nutritious snacks. Don't keep junk food in the house. Sign him up for sports. Do activities as a family. Don't mention his weight or make him feel bad about it. Keep the focus on being healthy.

Yes but every child is different - my son may have a lower metabolism for a start, and being short it makes him look a lot fatter when he may not weigh that much. The fact that he does not let me weigh him sounds like he struggles away from it when actually it's more of an avoidance - sort of can't be bothered thing. I have him doing sports, swimming for a start, however if he chooses to not work hard in that session is that my fault? If he doesn't enjoy PE at school so doesn't try hard does that fall down to me? I see your point but there are too many factors involved to claim it's not difficult, especially when your son is a healthy weight

[Anonymous]

My 5-year-old is overweight according to the BMI chart. I know it is hard to believe, but some of us with healthy habits have overweight kids. We do not eat any processed food or any added sugar in our house (except for birthdays, holidays, etc). The kids get 90 minutes of recess at school and we play outside for 1 hour after school each day. The kids are in two organized sports. Two of my kids are a healthy weight and one is over weight according to the charts (he does not look overweight). That child is always hungry and eats more than the others. Not all of us with heavy kids are eating Twinkies all day. I don't know what else to do to keep that child slim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have him on a strict diet and you're ashamed of him, you are only making the problem worse.

I am ashamed of the fact that he is overweight/borderline obese and given the conditions I don't see how a diet can possibly make things worse. Would you continue feeding your child the same when it is clear that he is in danger of health problems and with his size, in danger of being picked on. Especially if he is not aware of this diet - only being 8! Pretty irrelevant comment if you ask me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5-year-old is overweight according to the BMI chart. I know it is hard to believe, but some of us with healthy habits have overweight kids. We do not eat any processed food or any added sugar in our house (except for birthdays, holidays, etc). The kids get 90 minutes of recess at school and we play outside for 1 hour after school each day. The kids are in two organized sports. Two of my kids are a healthy weight and one is over weight according to the charts (he does not look overweight). That child is always hungry and eats more than the others. Not all of us with heavy kids are eating Twinkies all day. I don't know what else to do to keep that child slim.

Does he have a bigger build than your other kids? If he really doesn't look overweight, maybe he isn't. Some people's "ideal" weight/ healthy weight range is higher ( or lower) than the charts dictate. BMI is a one size fits all weight assessment that is not an accurate measure of health for a certain percentage of the population.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but my 8yo's BMI is in the 65th percentile. The dr didn't say anything but is that considered overweight? Child doesn't look chubby to me - even has well-defined muscles. But I have body image issues so I wanted a reality check.

A 65th percentile BMI is not considered overweight. Anywhere between the 5th & 85th percentile is considered to be in the healthy/normal range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have him on a strict diet and you're ashamed of him, you are only making the problem worse.

I am ashamed of the fact that he is overweight/borderline obese and given the conditions I don't see how a diet can possibly make things worse. Would you continue feeding your child the same when it is clear that he is in danger of health problems and with his size, in danger of being picked on. Especially if he is not aware of this diet - only being 8! Pretty irrelevant comment if you ask me

It's proven that trying to get a child to eat less will make him eat more. This comment isn't "irrelevant" - it's what you need to know. Food restriction + shame is going to make him eat more. You need to acknowledge how your own behavior could be making things worse. It's hard to own up to our parenting mistakes. Talk to his pediatrician and/or a registered dietitian.

If you feed him mostly healthy foods and lots of opportunity for physical activities, you'll set him up for establishing healthy habits and the weight will take care of itself.

I hope you take a good look at yourself and figure out why a child having a body type different from the one you prefer causes you to be ashamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have him on a strict diet and you're ashamed of him, you are only making the problem worse.

I am ashamed of the fact that he is overweight/borderline obese and given the conditions I don't see how a diet can possibly make things worse. Would you continue feeding your child the same when it is clear that he is in danger of health problems and with his size, in danger of being picked on. Especially if he is not aware of this diet - only being 8! Pretty irrelevant comment if you ask me

It's proven that trying to get a child to eat less will make him eat more. This comment isn't "irrelevant" - it's what you need to know. Food restriction + shame is going to make him eat more. You need to acknowledge how your own behavior could be making things worse. It's hard to own up to our parenting mistakes. Talk to his pediatrician and/or a registered dietitian.

If you feed him mostly healthy foods and lots of opportunity for physical activities, you'll set him up for establishing healthy habits and the weight will take care of itself.

I hope you take a good look at yourself and figure out why a child having a body type different from the one you prefer causes you to be ashamed.

So you regard having an 8 year old boy with such substantial belly fat that it overlaps his belt and he can't fit into shirts or trousers unless they're sized for almost double his age as something to be proud of? And where did you find this information that shows that children on a diet eat more? If I'm controlling how much he eats how can he possibly eat more? And can everyone please understand I am not ashamed of my son I love him to pieces, what I am ashamed of is that I have lost control of his weight and he could be suffering from health problems or bullying because of it! And a diet is feeding him mostly healthy foods and keeping him swimming so I don't really understand your point about that bit. Even the husky sized clothes for his age sometimes can't fit around his chubby belly and if that doesn't call for desperate measures I sort of don't know what does? I just long for the day that when he sits down in his trunks at the pool his belly doesn't cover them up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have him on a strict diet and you're ashamed of him, you are only making the problem worse.

I am ashamed of the fact that he is overweight/borderline obese and given the conditions I don't see how a diet can possibly make things worse. Would you continue feeding your child the same when it is clear that he is in danger of health problems and with his size, in danger of being picked on. Especially if he is not aware of this diet - only being 8! Pretty irrelevant comment if you ask me

It's proven that trying to get a child to eat less will make him eat more. This comment isn't "irrelevant" - it's what you need to know. Food restriction + shame is going to make him eat more. You need to acknowledge how your own behavior could be making things worse. It's hard to own up to our parenting mistakes. Talk to his pediatrician and/or a registered dietitian.

If you feed him mostly healthy foods and lots of opportunity for physical activities, you'll set him up for establishing healthy habits and the weight will take care of itself.

I hope you take a good look at yourself and figure out why a child having a body type different from the one you prefer causes you to be ashamed.

So you regard having an 8 year old boy with such substantial belly fat that it overlaps his belt and he can't fit into shirts or trousers unless they're sized for almost double his age as something to be proud of? And where did you find this information that shows that children on a diet eat more? If I'm controlling how much he eats how can he possibly eat more? And can everyone please understand I am not ashamed of my son I love him to pieces, what I am ashamed of is that I have lost control of his weight and he could be suffering from health problems or bullying because of it! And a diet is feeding him mostly healthy foods and keeping him swimming so I don't really understand your point about that bit. Even the husky sized clothes for his age sometimes can't fit around his chubby belly and if that doesn't call for desperate measures I sort of don't know what does? I just long for the day that when he sits down in his trunks at the pool his belly doesn't cover them up!

There is a big gap between "being proud" of him and being ashamed. If you control your son's food intake he will binge whenever he gets the opportunity. Play date, restaurant, sneaking food. I recommend that you read some of ellyn satter's books on feeding children. Just the way you describe his body is alarming. Please seek professional help for him

[Anonymous]

I would put him in more sports. Swimming? And don't buy any junk food or drinks besides water and milk. Just don't have it in the house at all.