DO I get nieces/nephews a gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a pp mentioned, is OP supposed to only go on holiday getaways the year sibling is home? Come on now.

Of course not, but the one year she invites mom & dad and the other sibling to go on vacation is the year sibling is with in laws?

Come on now!

OP was wrong.

Her sibling is wrong or carrying on like this, but as pp pointed out a doubt this is an isolated event.

Yes, because that is how things sometimes work out. You don't always get to attend every fun thing. Didn't you learn this in kindergarten ? No one feels like playing the stupid game of "let's invite them even though I know FOR A FACT that they are unavailable just so that I can make sure they feel included!". That's BS. Honestly, good riddance. And no, you don't have to get their kid a dammed thing. And before you all start about "why would you punish the child...!??" Stop. It's a Christmas gift that they are missing out on, not food, water or electricity. Not a huge deal. If your sibling has cut contact with you, I'm sure they aren't regaling their kid with wonderful stories about you anyway.

What? People send out courtesy invites like that all the time, or at least everyone I know does!

There's also a difference between missing out a 'fun thing' and having your entire family plan a family vacation that you can't attend. And doing it secretly so it feels like even more of a snub.

I think the sibling has overreacted but op not thinking this was that big a deal makes me wonder if there's a lot more to the story.

+1 I agree with this. I think the OP did this deliberately, but that is just my hunch. I would need to hear more of the background to know for sure.

[Anonymous]

Hi,Op

Your sibling is not mentally sound. How can they be upset with what you did when they already had plans? That is beyond reason. Personally I would not spend Christmas with someone who did not talk to me while I was in the house. That is abusive and way worse by any "offense" ( which I do not think you did) you committed.

If I were you I would call Mom and Dad and tell them you are not going to celebrate Christmas with them because you will not tolerate being ignored on Christmas by your sibling. I also would not buy my nieces/nephews any presents as they are not going to be appreciated and the sibling might take it as "sucking up" to you ( or whatever)

Have a peaceful Christmas with your own family and friends!

[Anonymous]

The silent treatment is so annoying to deal with. My own sister is this way and she holds a grudge forevvvver. What makes people behave like this? Insecurity? Honestly, I would not subject my family members (DH and kids) to her behavior for a holiday get together. I would deal for a funeral (priorities people). Just curious, what does your brother and her DH say about the situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a pp mentioned, is OP supposed to only go on holiday getaways the year sibling is home? Come on now.

Of course not, but the one year she invites mom & dad and the other sibling to go on vacation is the year sibling is with in laws?

Come on now!

OP was wrong.

Her sibling is wrong or carrying on like this, but as pp pointed out a doubt this is an isolated event.

Yes, because that is how things sometimes work out. You don't always get to attend every fun thing. Didn't you learn this in kindergarten ? No one feels like playing the stupid game of "let's invite them even though I know FOR A FACT that they are unavailable just so that I can make sure they feel included!". That's BS. Honestly, good riddance. And no, you don't have to get their kid a dammed thing. And before you all start about "why would you punish the child...!??" Stop. It's a Christmas gift that they are missing out on, not food, water or electricity. Not a huge deal. If your sibling has cut contact with you, I'm sure they aren't regaling their kid with wonderful stories about you anyway.

What? People send out courtesy invites like that all the time, or at least everyone I know does!

There's also a difference between missing out a 'fun thing' and having your entire family plan a family vacation that you can't attend. And doing it secretly so it feels like even more of a snub.

I think the sibling has overreacted but op not thinking this was that big a deal makes me wonder if there's a lot more to the story.

+1 I agree with this. I think the OP did this deliberately, but that is just my hunch. I would need to hear more of the background to know for sure.

Op here.

No, I didn't deliberately plan someplace fun on sibling's IL holiday.

My spouse and I do not do alternating holidays like my sibling. SOme years we stay home, other years we travel to Hawaii, Mexico, parents etc...A lot depends on airfare. If we can book $500 flights to Hawaii in February for the Christmas, we'll go. That we the year we chose to travel to a warm resort area. My parents and other sibling were going to be just the three of them, so that is why we invited them.

What I don't get in some responses is the message that I should not do/go anyplace fun and my family, parents and sibling should just sit around the fire bored because X is with their ILs.