What are the little things a husband should do for his wife to make her feel appreciated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

Why are you not.... helping mow the grass, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, take care of car maintenance, chop wood for the fire place, helping paint the deck or power wash the patio furniture, or outside on the hottest day of the summer standing over a 500* grille cooking burgers an dog for larla's friends...

NP, but I am. How do you know she isn't?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear to God, just say thank you more. Whatever she does that makes your life easier, instead of taking it for granted like it's in her job description, ACTUALLY THANK HER. My husband did this the other day when I booked a flight for our son while he was at work. I let him know I had gotten it booked and he said "Thank you" instead of just okay or good. And it really made me feel appreciated.

Took my husband 15 years to learn this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

Why are you not.... helping mow the grass, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, take care of car maintenance, chop wood for the fire place, helping paint the deck or power wash the patio furniture, or outside on the hottest day of the summer standing over a 500* grille cooking burgers an dog for larla's friends...

I do all those things.

Your husband is a deadbeat. Want a new one?

No we do all those chores as a team. He also cooks 2 times a week, I cook 2 times a week, leftovers 1 day, eat out 1 day and we usually have plans with friends 1 day.

He also does laundry... so do I... so do my kids.

He is not a child and I am not a princess. We are adults. It's called team work.

If you earn the same amount of money as you DH, you dhare work 50/50. If your DH earns 4x than you do, I think you should do 80% of housework. Likewise if DW earns 4x than husband, DH should do 80% of housework. Bottomline total contribution to family should be the same either on a $ contributed or in time contributed

Not if they both work outside the house the same amount. Say I make 50,000 working full time and she makes 100,000 working full time outside the house. We both work full time. Do I still have to do twice the amount of housework as her?

[Anonymous]

Sit and chat with her in the kitchen while she makes supper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give my wife random hugs, hold her tight while typically she is working in the kitchen and then disappear before she understands why I am doing it. Also send her random smiley texts. Childish things like that.

Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

and there it is...a simple, honest, loving gesture is just not sufficient, it has to be all about you doesn't it?

[Anonymous]

Even just once a month, when the kids wake up on Saturday morning, take them downstairs without saying a word and let me stay in bed for another half hour.

If you want to hit it out of the park, bring me the newspaper and a cup of coffee, take them out for breakfast.

I swear, this would make me a new woman.

[Anonymous]

I feel loved and appreciated when he pays attention to what I'm doing, shows gratitude, and doesn't take me for granted. For a long time, it wasn't that way, so the difference feels important now that he does it. It doesn't come naturally to everyone to be mindful and grateful, but the effort is worth it, because it creates happiness for you and those around you.

When I mention something, no matter how small, and he listens, files it in his brain and, if it's an annoyance or chore, he takes care of it for me, or if it's some little thing I'd like to have, he gets it for me, I feel heard and very loved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking for a friend

I posted at 15:15 on the other thread yesterday (I'm the DH) and here is a small sample of what I do for my beloved DW:

- I make her tea every morning
- I tell her how beautiful she looks (I add a bit more flavor when she wear specific outfits or colors that drive me wild)
- I pat her on the but when I walk by her in the kitchen
- I take the dog out on the weekends and when the kids don't have any early events (sports, music), we leave the house so she does get that extra hour (+/-) of extra sleep
- I see things that need to be done around the house and I just do them before DW asks
- I hug her just because
- I hold her hand whenever we are out - I open the doors for her (and teaching our boys that they need to the same for any woman, not just mom or their sister), I order the wine, I happily share my plate even when I really don't like what she ordered
- I plan our date night every 2 weeks
- when I suggest we eat out, I know where we are going (i.e., I've already made a reservation)
- I recognize when I just need to the decision and I just do it
- I always have a blanket for her when we snuggle on the couch because I know she will always get cold at some point
- I do the grocery shopping, take out the garbage, wash her car, fill up her gas tank and/or oil, take care of the car servicing (b/c she never remembers how long the service light has been on) - I just do these things and tell her afterwards
- I take care of the bills when they come in (in the mail or via email)
- I take care of taxes, insurance, home service calls, etc.
- I show up to all of our 3 kids' events during the week even if that means moving meetings on my calendar or doing extra work late at night to make up for lost time in the office
- I don't use electronics during family time - so I am 100% present at dinner and in doing family stuff, homework in the evenings
- I talk to her at the dinner table and engage in conversation with the kids so she doesn't have be on 100% of the time
- I rub her feet and her shoulders when I know she's had a rough day (she's a teacher and is always on the go)
- I tell her I love her every morning and evening and send her at least one text during the day saying that
- I follow through on what I said I was going to do
- I let her vent, I listen, I don't judge her
- I am honest, open with her and emotionally available to her
- I tell her when I'm upset or miffed and we can talk with each other (and make up )
- I make her laugh all the time - sometimes even when I didn't intend it
- when she's feeling anxious, I tell her, sincerely, that everything will be just fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Asking for a friend

I posted at 15:15 on the other thread yesterday (I'm the DH) and here is a small sample of what I do for my beloved DW:

- I make her tea every morning
- I tell her how beautiful she looks (I add a bit more flavor when she wear specific outfits or colors that drive me wild)
- I pat her on the but when I walk by her in the kitchen
- I take the dog out on the weekends and when the kids don't have any early events (sports, music), we leave the house so she does get that extra hour (+/-) of extra sleep
- I see things that need to be done around the house and I just do them before DW asks
- I hug her just because
- I hold her hand whenever we are out - I open the doors for her (and teaching our boys that they need to the same for any woman, not just mom or their sister), I order the wine, I happily share my plate even when I really don't like what she ordered
- I plan our date night every 2 weeks
- when I suggest we eat out, I know where we are going (i.e., I've already made a reservation)
- I recognize when I just need to the decision and I just do it
- I always have a blanket for her when we snuggle on the couch because I know she will always get cold at some point
- I do the grocery shopping, take out the garbage, wash her car, fill up her gas tank and/or oil, take care of the car servicing (b/c she never remembers how long the service light has been on) - I just do these things and tell her afterwards
- I take care of the bills when they come in (in the mail or via email)
- I take care of taxes, insurance, home service calls, etc.
- I show up to all of our 3 kids' events during the week even if that means moving meetings on my calendar or doing extra work late at night to make up for lost time in the office
- I don't use electronics during family time - so I am 100% present at dinner and in doing family stuff, homework in the evenings
- I talk to her at the dinner table and engage in conversation with the kids so she doesn't have be on 100% of the time
- I rub her feet and her shoulders when I know she's had a rough day (she's a teacher and is always on the go)
- I tell her I love her every morning and evening and send her at least one text during the day saying that
- I follow through on what I said I was going to do
- I let her vent, I listen, I don't judge her
- I am honest, open with her and emotionally available to her
- I tell her when I'm upset or miffed and we can talk with each other (and make up )
- I make her laugh all the time - sometimes even when I didn't intend it
- when she's feeling anxious, I tell her, sincerely, that everything will be just fine

You sir are the reason why women folk are pampered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

Why are you not.... helping mow the grass, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, take care of car maintenance, chop wood for the fire place, helping paint the deck or power wash the patio furniture, or outside on the hottest day of the summer standing over a 500* grille cooking burgers an dog for larla's friends...

I do all those things.

Me too. And if I'm working and my husband gives me a kiss and disappears I'm not going to be grateful he noticed me.

Which is one reason I married a man who shared responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even just once a month, when the kids wake up on Saturday morning, take them downstairs without saying a word and let me stay in bed for another half hour.

If you want to hit it out of the park, bring me the newspaper and a cup of coffee, take them out for breakfast.

I swear, this would make me a new woman.

I'm a DH and donthis every weekend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

Why are you not.... helping mow the grass, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, take care of car maintenance, chop wood for the fire place, helping paint the deck or power wash the patio furniture, or outside on the hottest day of the summer standing over a 500* grille cooking burgers an dog for larla's friends...

I do all those things.

Your husband is a deadbeat. Want a new one?

No we do all those chores as a team. He also cooks 2 times a week, I cook 2 times a week, leftovers 1 day, eat out 1 day and we usually have plans with friends 1 day.

He also does laundry... so do I... so do my kids.

He is not a child and I am not a princess. We are adults. It's called team work.

Sounds very businesslike. I have no way of knowing, of course, but the PPs who appreciate the little gestures by their DHs seem to have more affection for their spouses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

Why are you not.... helping mow the grass, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, take care of car maintenance, chop wood for the fire place, helping paint the deck or power wash the patio furniture, or outside on the hottest day of the summer standing over a 500* grille cooking burgers an dog for larla's friends...

I do all those things.

Your husband is a deadbeat. Want a new one?

No we do all those chores as a team. He also cooks 2 times a week, I cook 2 times a week, leftovers 1 day, eat out 1 day and we usually have plans with friends 1 day.

He also does laundry... so do I... so do my kids.

He is not a child and I am not a princess. We are adults. It's called team work.

If you earn the same amount of money as you DH, you dhare work 50/50. If your DH earns 4x than you do, I think you should do 80% of housework. Likewise if DW earns 4x than husband, DH should do 80% of housework. Bottomline total contribution to family should be the same either on a $ contributed or in time contributed

Not if they both work outside the house the same amount. Say I make 50,000 working full time and she makes 100,000 working full time outside the house. We both work full time. Do I still have to do twice the amount of housework as her?

It's about making an equal effort. Right now I earn more than my husband but we have about the same work load outside of household responsibilities. We make an equal effort at home. We get about the same amount of leisure time. We both eat, wear clothes, and live in a home that gets buried under a mountain of leaves this time of year. So we both shop, cook, do laundry, and rake.

The disgruntled MRAs on this board will bitch about this until the cows come home. They'll say women nag for this and men who accept it are "beta." But it's the way grown people who respect each other live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why aren't you also working in the kitchen?

Why are you not.... helping mow the grass, rake the leaves, shovel the snow, take care of car maintenance, chop wood for the fire place, helping paint the deck or power wash the patio furniture, or outside on the hottest day of the summer standing over a 500* grille cooking burgers an dog for larla's friends...

I do all those things.

Your husband is a deadbeat. Want a new one?

No we do all those chores as a team. He also cooks 2 times a week, I cook 2 times a week, leftovers 1 day, eat out 1 day and we usually have plans with friends 1 day.

He also does laundry... so do I... so do my kids.

He is not a child and I am not a princess. We are adults. It's called team work.

Sounds very businesslike. I have no way of knowing, of course, but the PPs who appreciate the little gestures by their DHs seem to have more affection for their spouses.

Actually splitting duties sounds very businesslike, working in the yard together and having a beer midday together seems very loving. Being in charge of a drink while my H cooks and vica versa is more togetherness than H sitting on the couch while wife does everything and woman in the house while man does manly things outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Me too. And if I'm working and my husband gives me a kiss and disappears I'm not going to be grateful he noticed me.

Which is one reason I married a man who shared responsibilities.

sa DH here o you are slaving way over a hot stove hubby comes by leans in for a quick hug and peck on the cheek and then he disappears for an hour. do you spend that hour sulking that he kissed and walked away?

maybe he got up early took the car out for inspection/oil change stuff done while you were still sleeping for that last golden hour of sleep...or maybe he went to home depot to pickup some extra christmas lights or toilet repair kit. Or maybe he took the dog and larla out for a walk.

Don't be bitter. its possible hes done some thing that maybe he feels you don't appreciate or recognize?