Brother came out as gay today!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 21 year old brother came out as gay at the thanksgiving lunch table with 33 people family extended family in the room, no advance warning. Now my mom (heart of indiana, devout, religious) is crying and my east coast cousins are cheering him on for being "brave". I need to get out of here....

Selfish jerk. He owed it to his mom to tell her before hand, and give her some time to process this.

+1

From a gay person.

Why does he owe his mother anything regarding his sexuality?

NP here. She raised and cared for him. The least he can do it not spring major news at her over the holiday table in front of everyone. He knows very well that she's a die-hard conservative and that it will be difficult to process. Why make her do it there in front of the entire clan? The least he can do is give her a week, or at least a couple of days, heads-up on the news so that she can prepare for how to react in front of her family. She may initially be very shocked and unsupportive but given some time will be very supportive. Instead this is like a public Punk'ed episode to see how she'll react. No good to do to someone who bore and raised you. It's rude and has nothing to do with his sexuality, but just giving her courtesy before he drops a bombshell on the family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 21 year old brother came out as gay at the thanksgiving lunch table with 33 people family extended family in the room, no advance warning. Now my mom (heart of indiana, devout, religious) is crying and my east coast cousins are cheering him on for being "brave". I need to get out of here....

Good for him! It's great he came out no matter what others reactions were. He's just being true to himself and everyone else by not hiding anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get out? Not about you. He can do what he wants. When he wants. How he wants. I don't blame him.

Naah I need to get out of this crazy shithole. I love my big brother! I hate his guts and "shownanship" and dont know why he had to do it in front of the entire clan but I still love him. College is giving him wings....

It wasn't even "showmanship" - it was rude to do in front of your parents on a highly stressful day for all. He should have done it privately after. No one really wants to hear about someone's sex life at the Thanksgiving dinner table. He was inconsiderate of your parents' feelings and you should give your parents some support during this difficult time for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get out? Not about you. He can do what he wants. When he wants. How he wants. I don't blame him.

Naah I need to get out of this crazy shithole. I love my big brother! I hate his guts and "shownanship" and dont know why he had to do it in front of the entire clan but I still love him. College is giving him wings....

It wasn't even "showmanship" - it was rude to do in front of your parents on a highly stressful day for all. He should have done it privately after. No one really wants to hear about someone's sex life at the Thanksgiving dinner table. He was inconsiderate of your parents' feelings and you should give your parents some support during this difficult time for them.

+ 1.

Why does someone have to announce it? The next time he has a boyfriend he could just introduce him. Hey Aunt Shirley, meet Jim.

[Anonymous]

I see nothing wrong with him coming out (I couldn't care less if someone's gay) but I think he picked the wrong time to announce it. He must have known that it would put a big damper on the Thanksgiving. Poor timing.

[Anonymous]

Sick people insisting they are normal and healthy. They are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get out? Not about you. He can do what he wants. When he wants. How he wants. I don't blame him.

Naah I need to get out of this crazy shithole. I love my big brother! I hate his guts and "shownanship" and dont know why he had to do it in front of the entire clan but I still love him. College is giving him wings....

It is a lot easier to say it once in front of everyone than to call or hang out with everyone individually to tell them

The question is why the need for a big announcement? Knowing how his mom would react, it's a really shitty thing to do...

OP, I'm sorry, your brother is douche, gay or straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 21 year old brother came out as gay at the thanksgiving lunch table with 33 people family extended family in the room, no advance warning. Now my mom (heart of indiana, devout, religious) is crying and my east coast cousins are cheering him on for being "brave". I need to get out of here....

Selfish jerk. He owed it to his mom to tell her before hand, and give her some time to process this.

+1

From a gay person.

Why does he owe his mother anything regarding his sexuality?

Well, technically, no, he does not have to be a decent human being. But it'd be nice if he chose to.

[Anonymous]

Congrats to him, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sick people insisting they are normal and healthy. They are sick.

You sound sick, mentally. Life is too short to worry about how other people live their lives in ways that don't affect you. Go enjoy it before it's too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 21 year old brother came out as gay at the thanksgiving lunch table with 33 people family extended family in the room, no advance warning. Now my mom (heart of indiana, devout, religious) is crying and my east coast cousins are cheering him on for being "brave". I need to get out of here....

Selfish jerk. He owed it to his mom to tell her before hand, and give her some time to process this.

+1

From a gay person.

Why does he owe his mother anything regarding his sexuality?

NP here. She raised and cared for him. The least he can do it not spring major news at her over the holiday table in front of everyone. He knows very well that she's a die-hard conservative and that it will be difficult to process. Why make her do it there in front of the entire clan? The least he can do is give her a week, or at least a couple of days, heads-up on the news so that she can prepare for how to react in front of her family. She may initially be very shocked and unsupportive but given some time will be very supportive. Instead this is like a public Punk'ed episode to see how she'll react. No good to do to someone who bore and raised you. It's rude and has nothing to do with his sexuality, but just giving her courtesy before he drops a bombshell on the family.

This sounds like projection to me. I think he must have done it purely for self-preservation and protection. He's the one opening himself up to his family's prejudices and possible bad treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sick people insisting they are normal and healthy. They are sick.

You sound sick, mentally. Life is too short to worry about how other people live their lives in ways that don't affect you. Go enjoy it before it's too late.

NP. Total disregard towards people close to you is neither mental health incarnate, nor life, for that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sick people insisting they are normal and healthy. They are sick.

You sound sick, mentally. Life is too short to worry about how other people live their lives in ways that don't affect you. Go enjoy it before it's too late.

NP. Total disregard towards people close to you is neither mental health incarnate, nor life, for that matter.

He wasn't disregarding anyone. And I'm referring to the poster that said that people that are gay are sick...unless I read into that wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 21 year old brother came out as gay at the thanksgiving lunch table with 33 people family extended family in the room, no advance warning. Now my mom (heart of indiana, devout, religious) is crying and my east coast cousins are cheering him on for being "brave". I need to get out of here....

Selfish jerk. He owed it to his mom to tell her before hand, and give her some time to process this.

+1

From a gay person.

Gay guy here , too. + a thousand. Mom & Dad & Sibs first...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get out? Not about you. He can do what he wants. When he wants. How he wants. I don't blame him.

Naah I need to get out of this crazy shithole. I love my big brother! I hate his guts and "shownanship" and dont know why he had to do it in front of the entire clan but I still love him. College is giving him wings....

My SIL's BIL pulled that crap at a Thanksgiving a few years ago. Like no one knew. His own family called him my sister Peter. Thanksgiving was the day his father had a massive heart attack and died at the table and sister Peter thought it was the perfect day to confirm himself.

I will never understand this gay pride thing.

As a lesbian I find it to be really selfish. I get the "wanting to get it over with thing" but derailing everyone else's holiday with what you know is going to be huge news... I don't agree with it at all. Especially because some people are just not cool with gay people- doesn't mean they're bad people, but they grew up with prejudice. It feels kind of like "sticking it to them" to turn Thanksgiving about it. JMO

Being not cool with it makes them bigots.

I think that's very closed minded.

Nope. Not close minded to call people who are "not cool with gay people" regardless of how they were raised bigots. That's exactly what they are.

This absurd conservative idea that people who won't stand for bigotry are close minded needs to end, as does the idea that people who espouse bigotry simply have a different opinion and should be tolerated. That's for people's taste in music or not liking sushi or anything else trivial, not prejudice against groups of people because of race or gender or sexual orientation.

What the hell are you prattling on about?