Why do we dance around that we want our kids at elite colleges so they meet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah this is idiotic, OP. The most successful people I know largely met and married after college. And the trend towards marrying later means that our kids will be even less likely to meet their spouse in college.

+1. I wonder if OP is a boomer or similar, and grew up during a time when more people thought this way about the point of college. Having my young daughter meet her spouse in college has not once crossed my mind. I'm in my 30s, met husband during my postdoc while he was in a medical fellowship (both of us were at different Ivies during that time). Married in our 30s. Most of our well-educated friends I know are similar; very few met in college.

+2 Seems like a very bizarre, outdated, kind of sad concept.

[Anonymous]

Didn't someone do a poll on this recently? I think the consensus was that for top schools there were typically 10-25% of couples who met at school or through a school connection. But it was generally more common for state schools. 25-30%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah this is idiotic, OP. The most successful people I know largely met and married after college. And the trend towards marrying later means that our kids will be even less likely to meet their spouse in college.

+1. I wonder if OP is a boomer or similar, and grew up during a time when more people thought this way about the point of college. Having my young daughter meet her spouse in college has not once crossed my mind. I'm in my 30s, met husband during my postdoc while he was in a medical fellowship (both of us were at different Ivies during that time). Married in our 30s. Most of our well-educated friends I know are similar; very few met in college.

I believe OP meant to include couples like you in her assertion. Ivy (and ivy esque) alum networks shape dating circles well outside of the window of UG or Gradschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marriage over whoredom every day.

Right, there are no promiscuous students at Ivies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah this is idiotic, OP. The most successful people I know largely met and married after college. And the trend towards marrying later means that our kids will be even less likely to meet their spouse in college.

+1. I wonder if OP is a boomer or similar, and grew up during a time when more people thought this way about the point of college. Having my young daughter meet her spouse in college has not once crossed my mind. I'm in my 30s, met husband during my postdoc while he was in a medical fellowship (both of us were at different Ivies during that time). Married in our 30s. Most of our well-educated friends I know are similar; very few met in college.

I believe OP meant to include couples like you in her assertion. Ivy (and ivy esque) alum networks shape dating circles well outside of the window of UG or Gradschool.

Bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage over whoredom every day.

Right, there are no promiscuous students at Ivies.

the sluts at my ivy were the 4's-6's. the really attractive women were pretty prudish.

[Anonymous]

So basically you are a gold digger. There is no shame in that. Just know that people with money can tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah this is idiotic, OP. The most successful people I know largely met and married after college. And the trend towards marrying later means that our kids will be even less likely to meet their spouse in college.

+1. I wonder if OP is a boomer or similar, and grew up during a time when more people thought this way about the point of college. Having my young daughter meet her spouse in college has not once crossed my mind. I'm in my 30s, met husband during my postdoc while he was in a medical fellowship (both of us were at different Ivies during that time). Married in our 30s. Most of our well-educated friends I know are similar; very few met in college.

I believe OP meant to include couples like you in her assertion. Ivy (and ivy esque) alum networks shape dating circles well outside of the window of UG or Gradschool.

That's not what OP said--she mentions marrying college boyfriend/girlfriends, which typically refers to undergrad.

[Anonymous]

3/4 kids in my family married people they dated in college. Weddings took place 5-15 years after college.

I do think that where you go to college affects who you marry -- if not directly (in the married your college sweetheart sense), then by exposing you (or not) to a different part of the country and shaping your expectations about friends and relationships. And while I wasn't focused on marriage per se when DD chose her college, I did care about peer group and locale and was happy that her choice put her in a place where she was likely to meet other kids who share her strengths/values. She found HS pretty alienating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ivy Grad here married to another Ivy grad -- whom I met at age 38. I can't imagine marrying someone I met in undergrad. Are you high?

I agree with you completely, but it is crazy the # of Princeton people who meet well after college and later get married. Given reunions and other over the top alumni events that make it easier to meet, probably make this an outlier.

[Anonymous]

If you don't find a mate during undergrad/grad, there's always....
http://www.ivysinglesdc.com

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow...I was just telling my husband today I didn't want our daughter thinking that college had anything to do with marriage. I hope the same for my son. But my husband and I are both PhDs, so we made poor life decisions.

Oh gosh, I will tell both my daughter and son finding a mate in college, if possible, is great. I plan to explicitly tell my son that. He's not as outgoing, and he will never again have as many options or be thrown in with so many people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage over whoredom every day.

Right, there are no promiscuous students at Ivies.

the sluts at my ivy were the 4's-6's. the really attractive women were pretty prudish.

Dartmouth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alcoholic State colleges teach kids how to be degenerate slobs. Of course kids party at elite colleges too, but they're also receiving polish from the cultured ethos.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No wonder half of America would be happy if all the Ivy grads were rounded up and guillotined.

Half of America can't find the country on a map let alone name a single Ivy school, and the other half is filing lawsuits and posting feverishly on College Confidential and spending thousands of dollars prepping their kids like crazy in the desperate hope it will get them into an Ivy, so Im not too worried about my neck.