Why do we dance around that we want our kids at elite colleges so they meet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ivy Grad here married to another Ivy grad -- whom I met at age 38. I can't imagine marrying someone I met in undergrad. Are you high?

According to my facebook friends and the nytimes wedding section, elite college alums overwhelmingly meet spouse at college, grad school, or through college friends.

[Anonymous]

Because I can't imagine living 90 years and being married to someone I met when I was 20?

I met my husband after college, after law school, after working for 3 years.

[Anonymous]

I am a Statie married to another Statie. We met at State, have 5 kids (3 at Ivies, which just stuns us), are very financially secure and quite happy. My sister and her husband each went to top 10s, married 12 years out of college, have 4 kids (2 at Ivies), are very financially secure and equally happy. My brother and his wife are Ivies, have 2 young children, are NOT financially secure and they are so desperately unhappy it makes my skin crawl to be around them. Our little sister is an Ivy grad, unmarried, financially secure and very happy. Different strokes for different folks.

On the whole, though, I am really hoping that our children meet their future spouse in college and marry soon after. Even though our youngest is just 6, I really, really want grandchildren! To reply to OP's statement, though, I don't care where our kids go to college as long as they emerge happy and well-rounded and able to get a reasonably paying job that they like.

[Anonymous]

Wow...I was just telling my husband today I didn't want our daughter thinking that college had anything to do with marriage. I hope the same for my son. But my husband and I are both PhDs, so we made poor life decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am AMAZED at ho many cabinet members have a Harvard pedigree. It seems like the people who run the world all went to Harvard.

Not in the coming administration. I expect this time the standard will be "rich."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:and eventually marry a smart & wealthy college peer?

My most successful cousins went to elites and married college gf/bf and they're all super successful and stable. My state college family are mostly - no, not all - bitching about student loans, crappy jobs, and their horrible dating life.

Really? You didn't have anything better to do today than stir shit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am AMAZED at ho many cabinet members have a Harvard pedigree. It seems like the people who run the world all went to Harvard.

Not in the coming administration. I expect this time the standard will be "rich."

Bannon - HBS
Kushner (not cabinet but will be in the oval every day) - H
pompeo (not cabinet but high visibility post) - HLS
wilbur ross - HBS

[Anonymous]

Yeah this is idiotic, OP. The most successful people I know largely met and married after college. And the trend towards marrying later means that our kids will be even less likely to meet their spouse in college.

[Anonymous]

In my culture there is no pressure for people to find a spouse. Parents and relatives can find eligible people for a single person and they can choose if they want to. However, a great education is something that is very valued and if you get in an elite college then doors can open more easily for you. Why would you think that it is to find a spouse? It is to have a great career and also have financial security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No wonder half of America would be happy if all the Ivy grads were rounded up and guillotined.

LOL

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me really happy that when my dad tried every which way to pressure me to attend his Ivy that I resisted and went to a school with less pressure.

He and his brother both went to Ivys and they are both miserable losers.

One did not, and he's the only happy and stable one of the bunch.

Not saying it's a rule... but this thread seems to support the idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah this is idiotic, OP. The most successful people I know largely met and married after college. And the trend towards marrying later means that our kids will be even less likely to meet their spouse in college.

+1. I wonder if OP is a boomer or similar, and grew up during a time when more people thought this way about the point of college. Having my young daughter meet her spouse in college has not once crossed my mind. I'm in my 30s, met husband during my postdoc while he was in a medical fellowship (both of us were at different Ivies during that time). Married in our 30s. Most of our well-educated friends I know are similar; very few met in college.

[Anonymous]

No, I want my DD at a smaller academic-minded college where she can meet a nice guy who isn't spending his daddy's money getting drunk every weekend. Eventually he'll work a nice steady job and provide a nice living rather than continue to depend on daddy's connections to get him a job while keeping a family at home simply to show off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread makes me really happy that when my dad tried every which way to pressure me to attend his Ivy that I resisted and went to a school with less pressure.

He and his brother both went to Ivys and they are both miserable losers.

One did not, and he's the only happy and stable one of the bunch.

Not saying it's a rule... but this thread seems to support the idea.

Confirmation bias. You see what you want to see.

[Anonymous]

Marriage over whoredom every day.