MIL and her "alone time" with DH

[Anonymous]

Why the hell are you going there for four days when you are forced to stay in a hotel, stranded with a toddler without a car without access to walkable activities? Tell DH that if he can't stand up for you and your son then a one night stay and a Thanksgiving meal is all you're willing to commit to.

[Anonymous]

Huh? She wants four hours alone with her son. That seems perfectly reasonable. I live across the country from my in-laws and every time we fly out there if it's for more than 24 hours I always make sure to give DH some time alone with his parents.

Are you looking to find offense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not at all unusual for a mother to want to spend some alone time with their child. We have a rule whenever we go to visit either of our mothers. We find one afternoon per trip where grandma and her child get to spend the afternoon together. The in-law takes the kids off for some afternoon adventure and we meet up to have dinner together. We see our mothers only once or twice a year and the least we can do is spend one afternoon alone with our mother.

That said, the parent who is taking the kids, always gets the car. Both of our mothers still drive in the daylight, so this works out. If your mother doesn't drive, then I would probably suggest that you go and pick up grandma and drop grandma and her son off someplace where they can have lunch and sit for a couple of hours, then go and pick them up again. You take the car and the kids and do something for them.

This. I really don't see anything wrong with it. Wouldn't you, op, like to have an afternoon or tea with your mom?

[Anonymous]

20 minutes or a half hour of drinking a cup of tea together, I could understand. FOUR HOURS???? Are you kidding me? I don't get four hours alone with my husband unless we are sleeping. They are not dating.

[Anonymous]

As usual, the first post has limit information and the OP later comes to add more.

1. There is nothing wrong with a parent wanting to have some private time with an adult, married child.
2. Whoever has the kids gets the car
3. You have a DH problem, not a MIL problem
4. Stop going to visit. Let your DH go by himself
5. When your MIL come to visit, make no plans and have no expectations. Let your DH handle it.
6. Accept you do not have the MIL you wished for.
7. The only thing you can control is you and how you react.

[Anonymous]

She wants 4 hours with DH, and you're bitching? What's wrong with you, OP? I bet DH needs a break from your precious self

[Anonymous]

It's only 4 hours. Surely you can entertain your son at the hotel during that time. Swimming or watching movies. Bonding time with your own son.

[Anonymous]

Eh, MiLs are quirky. I would let it go and just insist you get the car. Take the kids out to lunch and a movie and the time will fly by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like spending alone time with my sons. We talk about their wives. LOL.

Yuck. Be in adult. I never behind my spouses back and especially not to my parents.

[Anonymous]

Most people prefer to be alone when they make out. Totally normal!

[Anonymous]

I bet OP doesn't allow her DH to have any hobbies that take him for more than half an hour a week from home. She does seem to be controlling

[Anonymous]

Everything she asks for is fine except leaving you at a hotel without a car. It would be nice if the alone time was planned around nap time so you aren't trapped. Wanting alone time isn't so bad.

Unless money is a problem for you, rejoice that she wants you in a hotel end not at her home. If money is an issue, then forget I said anything.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with that actually. I can see how an out of town MIL might want to spend some quality alone time with her own son - to check in, reconnect. I would happily ask to be dropped off at the local mall. The kids and I would do some window shopping, maybe catch a movie and have lunch. Time would fly.

You are taking this way too personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything she asks for is fine except leaving you at a hotel without a car. It would be nice if the alone time was planned around nap time so you aren't trapped. Wanting alone time isn't so bad.

Unless money is a problem for you, rejoice that she wants you in a hotel end not at her home. If money is an issue, then forget I said anything.

OK,me again. Retread your second post. It isn't normal and your problem is with your husband, not with his mother. He has no spine. Give up wanting a different mother in law. Your stinks.

That said, drop your husband at his moms for their visit and drive off with kid and a n uncharged phone. She can either let him drive her car or they can clean her closets for the afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Does the hotel have an indoor pool and a restaurant? If so, 4 hours even at the hotel alone with the kids shouldn't be too awful....