MIL and her "alone time" with DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is seriously messed up, OP. Your MIL sounds certifiable. And just plain rude. I have three boys and two girls. My oldest two are married. In a million years I would never ask to have "alone time" with my son when they visit. When they are here, I want to spend time with ALL of them. Of course I love my son. I also love my DIL and my grandbaby. If anything, I offer to keep the baby so that my son and DIL can get out and do something fun as a couple.

And not letting you stay at her house? That is beyond weird. Your DH needs stand up to his batshit crazy mama. I am both a DIL and a MIL. Your MIL is exactly why there are so many jokes about horrid MILs. I simply would not put up with that.

Pp I think you are the 'crazy' one. There is nothing wrong with mil wanting to spend 4 hours with her son. So many dil complain about not having your own space and forced to stay with in laws!

Good grief

She’s not going to have “her own space” stuck in a hotel room for four whole hours on a random day with young kids. Minus a car to boot!

Ugh swim or watch a movie....she isn't camping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here... my MIL is crazy and my husband absolutely won't stand up to her. I feel excluded and sad for my child. When I plan outings for the family when she visits she always changes the plans so it's just her and my husband and me and my son excluded. My mother doesn't do this with my siblings and their spouses. I don't know the area well where she lives and it's totally suburban and nothing within walking distance and she insists my son drive in case they won't to go somewhere because god forbid he should drive her car. She makes no effort to spend time w me or my son. I'm dreading thanksgiving and her alone time while I take my son on a walk around suburbia for 4 hours. She is selfish and I'm glad others think this is strange too. My husband for some odd reason is utterly terrified of his mother and would never disobey her. She would DIE if he showed up w our child as our son is relegated to the kitchen only of her house and backyard not the front.

I don't think the alone time with son thing is weird, BUT YOU need to set your boundaries also. Don't talk to MIL, talk to your husband and say that you will drop him off and then go do something fun with your child (with the car). I know you said suburbs, but there has to be something you can do. A park, movie, farm...

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP and just realized how old this thread is. Hey OP- can we get an update? Did your husband let you keep the car? More importantly- has he found a better work/life balance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a pain in the ass. No wonder she wants to spend time without you. It's only 4 hours for goodness sake! With her son that she presumably very rarely sees.

Looks like OP's MIL found this thread.

Looks like the same idiot who always says something like this found this thread. Get some new material.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Alone time"? It's giving incest vibes.

You are giving pervert vibes resurrecting 8 year old thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a pain in the ass. No wonder she wants to spend time without you. It's only 4 hours for goodness sake! With her son that she presumably very rarely sees.

Looks like OP's MIL found this thread.

Looks like the same idiot who always says something like this found this thread. Get some new material.

Really. So trite.

[Anonymous]

I personally have experienced this and have felt extremely disrespected. My spouse’s parents live close by and his sister sends texts asking him to go to a movie and not bring me so they can be alone. His dad asks him to come play war games. We have 3 kids my husband works all the time, he needs to prioritize the family he has created and not his parents who are grown adults. It’s not appropriate for a parent to an adult with a wife and a children to ask them to leave their wife and kids to spend time with them. That wife and those kids are their family now, they are their priority. You don’t get to dictate that family or their time. It’s extremely rude to control an adult and their family to that level. I eventually realized my in-laws always ask my husband to come to their house so they can control the relationship and ask me to leave and not be apart of it. I finally told my husband it makes me feel bad that his parents dislike me being around and this is supposed to be my family too. If they were going to exclude me constantly and making me feel like I do I will be leaving this situation. I totally get it. It’s one thing if they are doing something that doesn’t interest you fine don’t come, but for them to demand your spouses time and specifically ask you not to be there it’s clearly trying to show their dominance over their son. My husband is my best friend and if he wanted to go somewhere with me he’s always invited. We are a packaged deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL insisted on having alone time with my husband every time we see her. It's annoying. We travel to see her as a family and she wants to take an afternoon to hang out alone with my husband. God forbid she should see her grandchild which she can only hand in "small doses". We are going to see her for 4 days for thanksgiving. She doesn't let us stay in her home so we stay in a hotel with a rental car etc. she would like to spend the afternoon on Friday from 12-4 with DH. Im annoyed. Not a whole lot to do without a car and I'd like to be together as a family. Is it normal for MIL to do this alone time thing?

This is understandable and I bet you like alone time with your mother. Find a real problem.

[Anonymous]

I have no respect for a man who can't cut the cord.

[Anonymous]

Why is this troll's thread still here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally have experienced this and have felt extremely disrespected. My spouse’s parents live close by and his sister sends texts asking him to go to a movie and not bring me so they can be alone. His dad asks him to come play war games. We have 3 kids my husband works all the time, he needs to prioritize the family he has created and not his parents who are grown adults. It’s not appropriate for a parent to an adult with a wife and a children to ask them to leave their wife and kids to spend time with them. That wife and those kids are their family now, they are their priority. You don’t get to dictate that family or their time. It’s extremely rude to control an adult and their family to that level. I eventually realized my in-laws always ask my husband to come to their house so they can control the relationship and ask me to leave and not be apart of it. I finally told my husband it makes me feel bad that his parents dislike me being around and this is supposed to be my family too. If they were going to exclude me constantly and making me feel like I do I will be leaving this situation. I totally get it. It’s one thing if they are doing something that doesn’t interest you fine don’t come, but for them to demand your spouses time and specifically ask you not to be there it’s clearly trying to show their dominance over their son. My husband is my best friend and if he wanted to go somewhere with me he’s always invited. We are a packaged deal.

You are nutty as a fruit cake. Do you play war games? Why would your FIL ask you to come play? Is this all the time or just sometimes?
Call your SIL and ask her to go to the movies or hang out sometimes. Are you and your husband and kids glued together and cannot have separate relationships? My MIL visits from out of town and I encourage she and my husband doing things together for THEIR relationship. Now if you are always excluded that’s a different matter and not what your post sounds like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. This is the only trip we take basically and my son never sees his dad because of work etc. DH has a very demanding schedule and works most weekends. My son lives to be with him when he can. My MIL is very controlling and everything is her way or no way. I am not controlling and my husband has many hobbies and gets free time when he isn't working anytime he would like. I don't restrict him from doing anything. At home I'm basically a single mom so trips together are special. His mother has no respect for our family and us wanting to do things as a family with her included. She can come visit anytime as finances are far from an issue for her and she doesn't work so between her life of going on lavish trips around the world (as she should. I'm not shaming her for that at all), she could come visit and get her alone time. But instead she demands us to come to her but doesn't like us to really be with her but an hour a day except for her alone time with DH. My son has no clue who she is. It's sad but anyways I hate the alone time thing when we are on trips. DH said he would talk to her about leaving me the car. The hotel doesn't have an indoor pool but a restaurant. My 3 yo in a restaurant leaves much to be desired. I'm sure we can uber to a park if DH has the car.

First and foremost, this is a YOU problem. Your husband is sackless. He really said that he “would talk to his mother about leaving you the car???” Like he needs her permission and will get back to you if she decides to grant it. BARF! I would never accept that as an answer from my husband. I would tell my husband that I am dropping him off for his alone mommy date and he can Uber back when he’s ready. Period. Zero reason for him to “talk” with his mother about anything related to our rental car and our plans. She doesn’t have a vote. Come on OP. Stand up for yourself! Your husband clearly won’t so you have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a pain in the ass. No wonder she wants to spend time without you. It's only 4 hours for goodness sake! With her son that she presumably very rarely sees.

+1

Let her hang out with her child, OP. You really can’t survive four hours in a hotel with your kids by yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally have experienced this and have felt extremely disrespected. My spouse’s parents live close by and his sister sends texts asking him to go to a movie and not bring me so they can be alone. His dad asks him to come play war games. We have 3 kids my husband works all the time, he needs to prioritize the family he has created and not his parents who are grown adults. It’s not appropriate for a parent to an adult with a wife and a children to ask them to leave their wife and kids to spend time with them. That wife and those kids are their family now, they are their priority. You don’t get to dictate that family or their time. It’s extremely rude to control an adult and their family to that level. I eventually realized my in-laws always ask my husband to come to their house so they can control the relationship and ask me to leave and not be apart of it. I finally told my husband it makes me feel bad that his parents dislike me being around and this is supposed to be my family too. If they were going to exclude me constantly and making me feel like I do I will be leaving this situation. I totally get it. It’s one thing if they are doing something that doesn’t interest you fine don’t come, but for them to demand your spouses time and specifically ask you not to be there it’s clearly trying to show their dominance over their son. My husband is my best friend and if he wanted to go somewhere with me he’s always invited. We are a packaged deal.

It’s 100% clear from this post why you don’t get invited.

[Anonymous]

I’ve never asked for “alone time” with my brother but I always appreciate it when I can get it. My SIL is nice but why would I want to hang out with her? I do and I don’t hate it but it’s not my choice.
So yeah it’s understandable and I kind of admire the MIL for having the guts to ask for that.