Should I just wait 18 or so years to live how I really want?

[Anonymous]

My kids were hell at 2-3, and mostly delightful by 4. You are in the thick of it. I know it seems like there is no end, but there definitely is. Mine are now 12 and 9 and I'm counting the years the opposite way - I "only" have five years left with 12yo and it hurts to think about him leaving. I wish him the best, but holy shit I'm going to miss seeing him every day.

Please give it a couple of years and consider visiting a doctor and telling him or her what you told us. You sound depressed, and there is help for that. You don't have to be miserable.