Absent Father- Now wants to take me to court for visitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

has he won those battles? He should not smoke around her, but it is almost always better for the kids to have a relationship with both parents.

No, it is not always better. Are you an imbecile? Never heard of abuse parents, parents that murder children, parents that are neglectful? Never heard of PTSD or BPD or any of the myriad psychological disorders that can be directly correlated to having these parents involved in your life?

Wake the hell up.

[Anonymous]

He will get visitation. If you are concerned then start looking for a lawyer so it can be a supervised visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New girlfriend? He'll forget about this. Mine gives me a little run around every Year or two but never follows through on what he says (heh)

OP here. I never thought about a new girlfriend. That might be what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He will get visitation. If you are concerned then start looking for a lawyer so it can be a supervised visit.

I plan to get a lawyer if he follows through. He doesn't want visitation alone. He still wants me to be there since they really haven't spent enough time with each other. My daughter barely knows who he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He will get visitation. If you are concerned then start looking for a lawyer so it can be a supervised visit.

over in one.

If you want supervised visits only then marshal up your evidence and have it be real evidence not "he's a mean poopyhead!"

I'm talking "missed appointments previously made to visit," "attempted suicide," "committed crimes," "overdosed on drugs," that sort of thing.

[Anonymous]

He will probably get visitation. Every few years my ex starts this too. It's always because he has a new girlfriend. He usually drops it after he breaks up with the girlfriend which doesn't take very long.

[Anonymous]

You need an attorney. The stakes are high here. Financially and for your child's well being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need an attorney. The stakes are high here. Financially and for your child's well being.

I plan to get one if he in fact takes me to court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an attorney. The stakes are high here. Financially and for your child's well being.

I plan to get one if he in fact takes me to court.

Document offering visitation - i.e. once a week offer to meet at a playground, restaurant, etc. that you'd go to anyway and don't tell the child so when he no shows its no big deal and you just have a fun time with your child. That way you can show the court you offered and he refused. Do it all by email or text so you can prove it and get receipts if you can showing you were where you said you'd be (or take a picture with a time/date stamp). Do it 3-4-5 times and that way you cover yourself and he cannot say you are refusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an attorney. The stakes are high here. Financially and for your child's well being.

I plan to get one if he in fact takes me to court.

Document offering visitation - i.e. once a week offer to meet at a playground, restaurant, etc. that you'd go to anyway and don't tell the child so when he no shows its no big deal and you just have a fun time with your child. That way you can show the court you offered and he refused. Do it all by email or text so you can prove it and get receipts if you can showing you were where you said you'd be (or take a picture with a time/date stamp). Do it 3-4-5 times and that way you cover yourself and he cannot say you are refusing.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I do have several concerns. He has battled alcoholism, depression, mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts for years. He's also a smoker and my child is severely asthmatic.

has he won those battles? He should not smoke around her, but it is almost always better for the kids to have a relationship with both parents.

No, it is not always better. Are you an imbecile? Never heard of abuse parents, parents that murder children, parents that are neglectful? Never heard of PTSD or BPD or any of the myriad psychological disorders that can be directly correlated to having these parents involved in your life?

Wake the hell up.

No, you read the post. Almost always means there are exceptions such as those you list. These are the minority of cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need an attorney. The stakes are high here. Financially and for your child's well being.

I plan to get one if he in fact takes me to court.

Document offering visitation - i.e. once a week offer to meet at a playground, restaurant, etc. that you'd go to anyway and don't tell the child so when he no shows its no big deal and you just have a fun time with your child. That way you can show the court you offered and he refused. Do it all by email or text so you can prove it and get receipts if you can showing you were where you said you'd be (or take a picture with a time/date stamp). Do it 3-4-5 times and that way you cover yourself and he cannot say you are refusing.

I don't really see the point of this and think it's a giant waste of time. If he wants a visitation schedule the court is going to give it to him in some manner (possibly supervised for a temporary period for the child to acclimate). The only way what PP suggested would matter for is if he was trying to change the custody arrangement but if he's been absent for a few years that's not going to happen anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New girlfriend? He'll forget about this. Mine gives me a little run around every Year or two but never follows through on what he says (heh)

OP here. I never thought about a new girlfriend. That might be what it is.

Yeah, he may be putting on a show for the girlfriend to try to show that he's not a dead beat loser father, since that tends not to go over well with many women even if they don't have or want children. After some empty bluster and token gestures and probably making up excuses about it being your fault it's not working out, he may give up on the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

OP here. He hasn't brought up visitation since threatening to go to the courts. I'm guessing this is his new tactic of trying to show he wants to be involved. We'll see how this Saturday goes for my daughter's dance recital. He is well aware of the event. I've told him several times and have forwarded him the information by email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He hasn't brought up visitation since threatening to go to the courts. I'm guessing this is his new tactic of trying to show he wants to be involved. We'll see how this Saturday goes for my daughter's dance recital. He is well aware of the event. I've told him several times and have forwarded him the information by email.

That's exactly how you do it. Don't tell your daughter you invited him. You have it documented now that he was invited. Do it a few more times and make sure to print the emails just in case your computer crashes. If he goes to court, you can now say, hey, I did x, y and z and made the effort and he never showed up. This could be a show for a new girlfriend. Agree with the previous poster. But, at least you are covered if he tries to say you refused visitation.