Post Halloween question about costume appropriateness

[Anonymous]

Good luck getting your older elementary kids to hear you on this one, OP.

But by that time you'll have forgotten all about your little rant tonight, and all about being sensitive to the needs of the youngest students, because that's a parent's typical life path.

The only restrictions public schools have is on weapons. They send out an email prior to the parade saying no toy or real weapons of any kind.

Do I like the gory masks? No, I think they're awful and I don't understand why the kids like them. But I've never seen a kid scared by these things, and I've seen little kids wearing these masks!

So get out of your bubble and relax.

[Anonymous]

My elementary school has a reminder every year that kids should not wear scary or gory costumes to school. Surprised this isn't more commonplace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Good luck getting your older elementary kids to hear you on this one, OP.

But by that time you'll have forgotten all about your little rant tonight, and all about being sensitive to the needs of the youngest students, because that's a parent's typical life path.

The only restrictions public schools have is on weapons. They send out an email prior to the parade saying no toy or real weapons of any kind.

Do I like the gory masks? No, I think they're awful and I don't understand why the kids like them. But I've never seen a kid scared by these things, and I've seen little kids wearing these masks!

So get out of your bubble and relax.

[Anonymous]

"Screamed for her life"? Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Our elementary school does the dress as a book character (though a lot of kids just wear their regular costume, since you can find books about almost anyone). But they explicitly ban scary costumes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So one 4 year old pre-schooler was upset and the whole school has to change? Man, early Elementry parents are THE WORST.

+1
And she truly thinks everyone else is being an asshole here.

I'm not the OP, but I don't understand why any kid has to wear a gory costume anyway, especially to a school event. Yes, public schools should monitor this. They have dress codes in place any other time, why not for this? Desensitizing kids to blood, gore, etc. is much more harmful than bare shoulders and midriffs.

+1. I have older kids (in public school!) and would veto this costume in a big way. It's disgusting. I think there's a huge difference between that and your standard zombie or werewolf. Also, I've been going to the public school Halloween parade for 6 years now, and I've never seen anything even close to that disgusting.
Our public school does prohibit weapons in the costumes, and "encourages" costumes from books ... although I think that last part is sort of a joke, because of course there are books about face-eating zombies and any other gross thing you can think of.

[Anonymous]

In my kids' school only the kindergartners got to dress up and do a parade. We were instructed that the costume has to be a character from your child's book and no weapons. Not one inappropriate costume should up. I think all schools that celebrate Halloween should be a restriction on what kids and teachers can wear.

[Anonymous]

My kids weren't allowed to wear masks to public school (or school events). There were still lots of zombies and whatnot but w/o the masks it wasn't too gory.

At their private preschool they were restricted to non scary costumes (no ghosts, witches, zombies, etc).

[Anonymous]

Our school is K-8 and has a policy on not wearing costumes to school that might scare younger children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school is K-8 and has a policy on not wearing costumes to school that might scare younger children.

Which you determine how, exactly?

I have one son who was scared by nothing. No costumes, ever. One who was frightened by Snow White at Disney. So good luck with that.

[Anonymous]

I didn't think the costume was that bad. From op's initial description I was thinking it would be way worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Better get used to them, OP.

Our old preschool lines up every year to watch the nearby elementary school parade for Halloween. There are ALWAYS scary, bloody and gory get-ups and I have yet to see a kid scream for his life or express any kind of fear.

Note that I've observed this every year for 6 years! The 4 and 5 years old from preschool squeal with glee and clap their hands at every costume, even when the "big kids" come around with zombie and werewolves masks, axes through their exposed brains, etc.

Good for you. But 3 parents of classmates told me the same thing. I have a hard time believing a 4 year old would think this mask was gleeful.

Why would a 4 year old trump a 10 year old when it's a school event? Why would you even presume that everyone else should adapt for your child's comfort?

So that everyone can attend. You know, the SCHOOL event. Where my children go to school.

Your preschooler does not go to school there if it is a public school I'm assuming. So really you don't have any right to tell the school what they can and cannot allow children to wear for Halloween party and parade. I don't understand why you're not talking to your own child about the fact that it's fake and pretend in order to help your child not be scared. For what it's worth my child's public school had a policy that you couldn't bring fake swords, knives, guns or where anything with blood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Better get used to them, OP.

Our old preschool lines up every year to watch the nearby elementary school parade for Halloween. There are ALWAYS scary, bloody and gory get-ups and I have yet to see a kid scream for his life or express any kind of fear.

Note that I've observed this every year for 6 years! The 4 and 5 years old from preschool squeal with glee and clap their hands at every costume, even when the "big kids" come around with zombie and werewolves masks, axes through their exposed brains, etc.

Good for you. But 3 parents of classmates told me the same thing. I have a hard time believing a 4 year old would think this mask was gleeful.

Why would a 4 year old trump a 10 year old when it's a school event? Why would you even presume that everyone else should adapt for your child's comfort?

So that everyone can attend. You know, the SCHOOL event. Where my children go to school.

Your preschooler does not go to school there if it is a public school I'm assuming. So really you don't have any right to tell the school what they can and cannot allow children to wear for Halloween party and parade. I don't understand why you're not talking to your own child about the fact that it's fake and pretend in order to help your child not be scared. For what it's worth my child's public school had a policy that you couldn't bring fake swords, knives, guns or where anything with blood.

You clearly don't actually live in DC where many public schools have PK3 and all have PK4.

At our school dressing up is only for the PK4 and K students to parade around while the older kids line the playground and cheer them on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one PK and one 1st grade student in a public school this year. There was a school-sponsored Halloween event a few days before the holiday where the whole school was invited. Two or three kids in older grades wore grotesque and scary masks. They were so inappropriate that my 4 year old screamed for her life and came shaking and crying into my arms and we basically has to hide from the kids the whole time and left early. Now, she's sensitive, but she's definitely in the range of normal. Am I totally unreasonable to expect parents to set limits on what their kids can wear to school events where they know the pre-K kids will be present? Why would any parent think it's okay to let their kid wear a mask that I find creepy? Now, on Halloween out on your own, wear whatever you want. That's the hazard of the holiday, but I have a hard time believing I'll totally forget that 3, 4, 5, and 6 year olds can be really spooked by bloody zombie freaky masks. It's so antisocial.

I think your expectation that costumes not be scary is unreasonable. It sounds like your child is sensitive and like your solution to that challenge is to shelter her from things that scare her rather than help her work through being frightened without, you know, telling other people's kids what they are and are not allowed to wear. My response in this situation would be, "Oh, it's okay, sweetie! It's just a scary mask. A lot of kids like to wear creepy scary masks at Halloween, but under the mask, they're just kids like you!"

Your parenting issue doesn't need to become the school's issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Better get used to them, OP.

Our old preschool lines up every year to watch the nearby elementary school parade for Halloween. There are ALWAYS scary, bloody and gory get-ups and I have yet to see a kid scream for his life or express any kind of fear.

Note that I've observed this every year for 6 years! The 4 and 5 years old from preschool squeal with glee and clap their hands at every costume, even when the "big kids" come around with zombie and werewolves masks, axes through their exposed brains, etc.

Good for you. But 3 parents of classmates told me the same thing. I have a hard time believing a 4 year old would think this mask was gleeful.

Why would a 4 year old trump a 10 year old when it's a school event? Why would you even presume that everyone else should adapt for your child's comfort?

So that everyone can attend. You know, the SCHOOL event. Where my children go to school.

Your preschooler does not go to school there if it is a public school I'm assuming. So really you don't have any right to tell the school what they can and cannot allow children to wear for Halloween party and parade. I don't understand why you're not talking to your own child about the fact that it's fake and pretend in order to help your child not be scared. For what it's worth my child's public school had a policy that you couldn't bring fake swords, knives, guns or where anything with blood.

My preschooler does go to school there. There is PK 3 and 4 at many public schools in DC. I never suggested I had the right. I was asking about expecting parents to check what their kids are wearing for appropriateness for a school event. Read. Of course we talked to our kids about pretend.