Is your child expected to notify you of a major change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or can they pursue whatever major they want? I heard a story of a pre-med kid changing to the far easier and less marketable gender studies ... the parents didn't know until junior year when the daughter informed them she was not preparing for MCAT or medical school. Yikes.

Shocking, but they are becoming their own person and not the image mommy and daddy had of them.
No they should not notify parents until they want to.

[Anonymous]

I would not pay for a pointless easy degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not pay for a pointless easy degree.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not pay for a pointless easy degree.

Pointing out the (potentially) obvious here: different things are "easy" for different people, and many of us with "pointless" degrees do actually use them in our real adult lives. In any case, college is not necessarily vocational, and shouldn't be looked at purely in that light.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not pay for a pointless easy degree.

Pointing out the (potentially) obvious here: different things are "easy" for different people, and many of us with "pointless" degrees do actually use them in our real adult lives. In any case, college is not necessarily vocational, and shouldn't be looked at purely in that light.

If they're at an Ivy, sure, they can concentrate in whatever they want. If they're at some mid-tier college, they need to study something tough. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

I would absolutely expect them to discuss such an important change with me. To just change their major and never mention it to us (their parents) would be a huge violation of trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not pay for a pointless easy degree.

Pointing out the (potentially) obvious here: different things are "easy" for different people, and many of us with "pointless" degrees do actually use them in our real adult lives. In any case, college is not necessarily vocational, and shouldn't be looked at purely in that light.

If they're at an Ivy, sure, they can concentrate in whatever they want. If they're at some mid-tier college, they need to study something tough. End of story.

But what qualifies as "tough"?

If math comes easily to a person, engineering or physics might not be very tough. If someone is not a good writer or not good at reading analytically, an English or history major might be pretty darn tough. The difficulty of a major depends a lot on the student's skills and talents.

I think kids should pick a major in a subject they're good at, but if they're good at something, it won't be tough. So I'm curious as to how you're defining "tough" in the context of choosing a major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not pay for a pointless easy degree.

Pointing out the (potentially) obvious here: different things are "easy" for different people, and many of us with "pointless" degrees do actually use them in our real adult lives. In any case, college is not necessarily vocational, and shouldn't be looked at purely in that light.

If they're at an Ivy, sure, they can concentrate in whatever they want. If they're at some mid-tier college, they need to study something tough. End of story.

Where do people get these ideas?

SMH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

I would absolutely expect them to discuss such an important change with me. To just change their major and never mention it to us (their parents) would be a huge violation of trust.

I changed from pre-med to another major when I was in college many years ago. I was 19 going on 20, and I did not discuss my decision to change majors with my parents. I went to a state school on full scholarship, and I had a part-time job, not living at home. I did, however, mention it over Thanksgiving dinner that Junior year because I love them and thought they'd want to know about the important decision I made for MY life. They were surprised and would have preferred I go to medical school but realized they really had no choice in the matter. Changing majors was the smartest thing I could've done nor have I ever regretted my decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

I would absolutely expect them to discuss such an important change with me. To just change their major and never mention it to us (their parents) would be a huge violation of trust.

I changed from pre-med to another major when I was in college many years ago. I was 19 going on 20, and I did not discuss my decision to change majors with my parents. I went to a state school on full scholarship, and I had a part-time job, not living at home. I did, however, mention it over Thanksgiving dinner that Junior year because I love them and thought they'd want to know about the important decision I made for MY life. They were surprised and would have preferred I go to medical school but realized they really had no choice in the matter. Changing majors was the smartest thing I could've done nor have I ever regretted my decision.

Honestly, I agree that it is their life and ultimately they get to choose what is good and right for them. However, if one of my kids made an important decision like that and waited months to tell me about it I would feel really hurt and misled. I would be very sad that they kept me out of the loop like that and that would be true regardless of who was footing the bill for the tuition.

Just because you had every right to make that decision all by yourself and to keep your parents in the dark about it doesn't mean that it was a kind or considerate thing for you to do.

[Anonymous]

I really don't remember even talking with my parents about a major. I went to a top 10 SLAC and then to a top b-school so it turned out fine. My kids have chosen their own majors as well, and one chose a major some of you would scoff at but is doing well post college. Pushing that kid to major in biology or engineering would have been silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

I would absolutely expect them to discuss such an important change with me. To just change their major and never mention it to us (their parents) would be a huge violation of trust.

I changed from pre-med to another major when I was in college many years ago. I was 19 going on 20, and I did not discuss my decision to change majors with my parents. I went to a state school on full scholarship, and I had a part-time job, not living at home. I did, however, mention it over Thanksgiving dinner that Junior year because I love them and thought they'd want to know about the important decision I made for MY life. They were surprised and would have preferred I go to medical school but realized they really had no choice in the matter. Changing majors was the smartest thing I could've done nor have I ever regretted my decision.

Honestly, I agree that it is their life and ultimately they get to choose what is good and right for them. However, if one of my kids made an important decision like that and waited months to tell me about it I would feel really hurt and misled. I would be very sad that they kept me out of the loop like that and that would be true regardless of who was footing the bill for the tuition.

Just because you had every right to make that decision all by yourself and to keep your parents in the dark about it doesn't mean that it was a kind or considerate thing for you to do.

First, I will not be castigated by a stranger who comes to conclusions based on a few sentences. For your information, I changed my major in September of that year and waited two months while the whole family was in place to talk about my decision. Unlike your expectation of your children, I put my ducks in a row and gathered all my information and a plan before blurting out my news. A plan is the mature way to go.

If one of your kids waited months to tell you, I would certainly understand why. If you have this kind of reaction and accusatory attitude towards a stranger based on little information, I dread to think of the reaction you would exhibit to your children who just blurted it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

I would absolutely expect them to discuss such an important change with me. To just change their major and never mention it to us (their parents) would be a huge violation of trust.

I changed from pre-med to another major when I was in college many years ago. I was 19 going on 20, and I did not discuss my decision to change majors with my parents. I went to a state school on full scholarship, and I had a part-time job, not living at home. I did, however, mention it over Thanksgiving dinner that Junior year because I love them and thought they'd want to know about the important decision I made for MY life. They were surprised and would have preferred I go to medical school but realized they really had no choice in the matter. Changing majors was the smartest thing I could've done nor have I ever regretted my decision.

That is great and you were paying your own way. However, if the student in question is being funded by parents, then they at least deserve a heads up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they had to discuss wanting to change majors with me before doing it.

When you are not paying, you are not in control.

I would absolutely expect them to discuss such an important change with me. To just change their major and never mention it to us (their parents) would be a huge violation of trust.

I changed from pre-med to another major when I was in college many years ago. I was 19 going on 20, and I did not discuss my decision to change majors with my parents. I went to a state school on full scholarship, and I had a part-time job, not living at home. I did, however, mention it over Thanksgiving dinner that Junior year because I love them and thought they'd want to know about the important decision I made for MY life. They were surprised and would have preferred I go to medical school but realized they really had no choice in the matter. Changing majors was the smartest thing I could've done nor have I ever regretted my decision.

That is great and you were paying your own way. However, if the student in question is being funded by parents, then they at least deserve a heads up.

I was not paying my own way. I had a scholarship which could have been recalled at any time if my grades were not up to par.

I guarantee that a child in a secure relationship with parents who aren't overbearing and judgmental, they will seek out their parents for discussion. When I read some of these comments, I thank God for my parents then and now.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are still little but I cannot imagine a scenario where I would be ok with giving them several hundred thousand dollars to blow on a bullshit major like gender studies. No way. Double major, pairing it with something "practical"? Maybe. On it's own? No way.