Single Parents: tell me how you do it!

[Anonymous]

19:52 - I'm a single mom of an 8-year-old and I do a lot of takeout too. Frankly, once you factor in the cost of throwing away food that expires before I have the time/energy to cook it, it doesn't come out to be much more expensive. (I save money on lunches by eating microwave entrees or leftovers from last night's dinner.)

I get to telework one day a week and can generally use the 2 hours I save commuting to do little things around the house. I can run loads of laundry, run the vacuum cleaner, wipe down the kitchen after I make my lunch, do a quick cleaning of the bathroom at some point.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom to a 1 year old with no support close by and I think the most important thing I've realized is that I need to prioritize my mental & physical health.

I'm still searching for that balance but I've found things generally work out better when I feel good about myself. Then the time I spend with LO is real quality enjoyable time where I'm not stressing about X and Y.

Keep your lucrative job that you enjoy and try outsource as much as you can.

[Anonymous]

This is awesome advice for all parents!

[Anonymous]

I keep a half hour for myself in the evening, after my son goes to bed, as sort of a sacred time to do whatever I feel like doing.

Remote start for your car if you don't already have it. IT makes winter mornings so much less complicated.

Get a monthly cleaning service.

I let being too precious about food go. I am so happy for moms who can do homemade dishes from scratch with all organic ingredients for every meal, but guess what? A frozen veggie lasagne or peanut butter sandwiches for dinner once in a while never killed anyone. I have other single mom friends who love their grocery pick up service. I was raised by a single parent who took our laundry to a service every week.

Amazon subscriptions for some things can make life easier.

Figure out who you can really ask for help without it being a big deal and let them help you. For me, it did not turn out to be my family or my closest friends but a couple of other people who just happen to have more time and a genuine desire to help out. Let them pick something up at the grocery store if they offer or watch your child while you get something done. These little things can make a day so much easier.

Don't be too nice and accommodating with random people -- it can suck time away from yourself and your child. I still struggle with this. Recently someone brought a messy snack to a playdate at my house and then let her kids crush it into my carpet. I said, "Oh, don't worry!" as it was happening, and ended up having to stay up late into the night cutting sticky crap out of my carpets. Learn to say "no" to things that are going to be a burden.

Get enough sleep!

[Anonymous]

This should be made a sticky for the entire forum! This is why I read DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like some wealthy single parents posting here. I don't have the money for take out or a cleaner, etc. My suggestion is to trade off on childcare with a few other people. My DS is going to his friend's house this afternoon and I am going to have that same friend over tomorrow for a few hours. I'll get to run some errands kid-free and then my kid will be occupied with his friend tomorrow for a few hours. Win-win. He is old enough for sleepovers so I get to sleep in every once in a while too.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has been a single parent since my daughter was born she is now 5. I will say it definitely gets easier. When your child is younger than 2 it definitely seems like it won't but trust me it does. It'll get easier when he/she wants to start being independent.

I agree what everyone says about the house and it staying clean. That shouldn't be a priority. I realized that early on. I hire a cleaning service from time to time. About once every 3 months. I am wealthy by any means. Teacher salary however if you budget it then you can make it work.

Wh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like some wealthy single parents posting here. I don't have the money for take out or a cleaner, etc. My suggestion is to trade off on childcare with a few other people. My DS is going to his friend's house this afternoon and I am going to have that same friend over tomorrow for a few hours. I'll get to run some errands kid-free and then my kid will be occupied with his friend tomorrow for a few hours. Win-win. He is old enough for sleepovers so I get to sleep in every once in a while too.

Some are wealthy, others like me are not. I've also traded childcare, and it is so helpful!

[Anonymous]

9:34- if you can't afford takeout, maybe you can prepare a bunch of meals one night a week and save time that way? I have a couple of dishes that make 5-6 servings. Then I eat the leftovers for lunches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has been a single parent since my daughter was born she is now 5. I will say it definitely gets easier. When your child is younger than 2 it definitely seems like it won't but trust me it does. It'll get easier when he/she wants to start being independent.

I agree what everyone says about the house and it staying clean. That shouldn't be a priority. I realized that early on. I hire a cleaning service from time to time. About once every 3 months. I am wealthy by any means. Teacher salary however if you budget it then you can make it work.

Wh

Nope. Sorry but I wish I had money leftover to pay someone to clean. Some months I have to leave a bill or two unpaid. $55K doesn't go far here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has been a single parent since my daughter was born she is now 5. I will say it definitely gets easier. When your child is younger than 2 it definitely seems like it won't but trust me it does. It'll get easier when he/she wants to start being independent.

I agree what everyone says about the house and it staying clean. That shouldn't be a priority. I realized that early on. I hire a cleaning service from time to time. About once every 3 months. I am wealthy by any means. Teacher salary however if you budget it then you can make it work.

Wh

Nope. Sorry but I wish I had money leftover to pay someone to clean. Some months I have to leave a bill or two unpaid. $55K doesn't go far here.

I meant to say I wasn't wealthy. You are correct in saying 55K doesn't go far. I wish I had some better advice. Just take it one day at a time and before you know it you'll be looking back amazed by how far you have come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:18 here one more time. Trust me on this one: DON'T GIVE UP A LUCRATIVE CAREER.

Money helps a lot.

OMG when I left my abusive ex with my 8 year old I had no money at all, no career (worked for exes business) and had to move in with my dad whose wife hates me.

And Im reading your post and see you are thinking of leaving well paying job. DONT DO IT. OMG. If you can afford to hire help DO THAT. There are lovely kind and grateful people out there who will help and be glad for the chance as opposed to family who can be startlingly indifferent.

Minimize stuff, dont worry about being perfect with clean house. Spend time enjoying your child as much as possible. No rash decisions like moving and quitting jobs etc.