Regret redshirting (I think) - what are our options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand redshirting. I feel like everyone I know is talking about holding their kids back a year before putting them in kindergarten. There was no redshirting where I grew up. My birthday was in the last quarter of the calendar year and I did fine in school. I was usually one of the youngest in my classes. Why is redshirting even allowed? Why would people want their kids turning 7 in kindergarten?

I can understand people in OP's situation with a child who legitimately has mental health issues, but barring that, redshirting feels like over protective helicopter parents selling their kids short.

People especially think that boys are "immature" and need an extra year of growth and development. Parents don't think their young boys can sit in their desks quietly and do first-grade work in kindergarten. FF to middle school. These redshirted boys are hitting puberty earlier than their peers, are taller, and are dominating at sports when teams are grouped based on grade rather than age.

Time for the sweeping generalizations. Those are the only kids you KNOW are redshirted. There are plenty of quiet, under-developed boys in the room who you don't know about. My son is one of them. He is now in 4th grade and still probably the shortest and definitely not hitting puberty. He looks about 7.

Yes, correct, I am basing this on my observation of middle school boys. Your son is in 4th grade, and I'm talking about 7th and 8th graders. I world not expect for a redshirted 4th grader to be boring puberty. The difference becomes more noticeable later on.

[Anonymous]

**hitting puberty, not boring!

[Anonymous]

I also have a 7 year old DS (August birthday) who we did not redshirt. A colleague has an 8 year DS (September birthday) who he did redshirt. Both boys are now in second grade and doing well. We have compared notes through the years, and my general take is kids close to the cut off will generally need some kind of support whether you redshirt or not.

The younger kids like my son may need some academic support. It took him awhile to get started with reading, and we have helped him with that. He has done well socially, and in general I think our decision was the right one. My coworker's son has at times felt bored, but the teacher differentiates for him. The fact that he is ahead of many of his classmates academically does not mean the social/emotional concerns his parents had that led them to redshirt were not valid. There does not seem to be any easy answer for most of these kids, and I do think differentiation helps immensely. I also think as kids gets into later elementary school these differences will not be as pronounced. I also have not felt there is a huge difference between first and second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a teacher, I think that boredom in school is much more a function of a kid's personality, and of classroom managemetn than a kid's learning style. I was an introvert kid with a very high IQ and very high academic skills, who was never bored in school because I enjoyed daydreaming, challenging myself with problems in the margins on my paper, whatever. I've had kids with similar IQ's and academic skills who are super extroverted and love the social piece of school. On the other hand, I see plenty of kids with IQ's and academic skills all over the map who just don't like any activity that isn't exactly at their zone of proximal development. It doesn't seem to matter if the activity they're doing is one that every one knows how to do (e.g. wiping tables after lunch, lining up) something they mastered 5 minutes ago, or something they learned years ago, or something that's just a little to hard. These kids are prone to boredom. For many of these kids, putting them in a curriculum that includes a lot of activities that naturally differentiate, such as creative writing, research projects, strategy games, independent reading, helps a lot, but there are still kids, again of all intelligence levels, who don't automatically challenge themselves.

I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't see a grade skip as the answer to boredom. It could be that the issue is a school with lots of busy work, which would likely be an issue for her anywhere. It could also be that the issue is your kid isn't taking advantage of the opportunities they are given to drive their own learning, which is a more complicated issue.

This is an excellent and insightful post. I think the OP has disappeared, but if she comes back she should heed this advice. It 100% makes sense.

Op here - I did disappear! I didn't realize this thread was still going. I appreciate ALL of the comments on this thread - the feedback and variety of perspectives is really valuable. I'm still a bit conflicted, but feel more comfortable leaving her where she is. I've talked to DD's teacher, who was surprised to hear that DD complained of being bored. Teacher reports that DD is enthusiastic and engaged in class, and regularly finishes her work early so she can select more challenging work to do independently. Teacher also says that DD does not appear more or less mature than others - just about right, socially. So, I do think that DD is content in class and is able to appropriate seek out more challenging activities when available. And other than quietly complaining that the math work is way too easy and that she's embarrassed to be one of the oldest kids, DD seems happy and well-adjusted.

I'm concerned that down the road, this private school is pretty rigid and she may not have as many opportunities to self-differentiate her work in the later grades. Hard to be clairvoyant though, or to know whether these concerns are due to being redshirted or merely concerns with the more rigid school environment. On the other hand, I absolutely loved her Montessori school where she did Primary (and her little sister is currently enrolled in Primary), which encourages independent learning and self-differentiation. We moved DD to her current school 2 years ago because the Montessori approach did not seem to suit her. She was easily overwhelmed with too many choices and had a hard time selecting work without teacher intervention. I was also worried that the independent learning environment permitted DD to hide a bit and withdraw from the class (she was/is shy and she took advantage of being able to sit in the corner quietly doing her work and avoided interaction with others). DD initially thrived when we moved her to the typical classroom environment - oddly, the rigidity seemed to give her a little more flexibility while still providing structure. But after 2 years, I think DD has matured quite a bit and may be better able to handle the Montessori classroom again. It would really be nice if I could foresee the future to know which would be the better environment for her!

Of course, DD's our oldest child and it's our first time dealing with this, so I know I'm probably overthinking it. DD seems pretty happy where she is, so I think we should just let things play out. I'm probably creating urgency where none is needed, just because I think it's probably easier to make a change in the early grade rather than trying to make a change later on. Anyway, sorry for the rambling post...but I appreciate all of your input.