Regret redshirting (I think) - what are our options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're over-emphasizing the problems of boredom in elementary school (which could well be an issue if she were in 2nd grade also - 2nd graders are also doing review right now) and under-emphasizing that dd has already shown signs of anxiety, social immaturity, low frustration tolerance, and is rushing through her work without giving it attention (which could indicate something like ADHD). I think she's got a lot on her plate that could be affecting the perception of how school is going.

OP here. Thanks, this is a good point. As I mentioned, I don't have a great frame of reference since DD is our first kid and we are not close to cousins or friends children. It seems like at this age there is a pretty wide margin of skills among kids, with some excelling in one area and others excelling in another. I imagine that would leave all kids feeling bored with at least a portion of the curriculum. So, is it perfectly normal for K and 1st graders to experience some boredom? Also, I don't want to diminish the social and anxiety issues. They're not insignificant and DH and I didn't want to push her into an environment that would be unhealthy. Better to be a little bored, than over-stressed and anxious at a higher grade level?

2nd is more dull than 1st. It doesn't start to pick up till 3rd.

FWIW, this is not our experience. Things really picked up from 1st to 2nd, both in terms of differentiation and in terms of the level of the work. The work that is described on the grade-level website is not the work my 2nd grader is bringing home at all. This is good, because the grade-level work would be way too easy but the work she is actually bringing home is on target.

Granted its only one month in, but when I look at the year curriculum it was everything my child did in K., 1 and even preK at his last school. They don't even do double or triple digit addition and subtraction till later in the year and wait for multiplication till next.

OP The private schools do tend to go over the Math concepts for longer - and its not such a rush to get through to more advanced curriculum. You only really see that in the publics. Are there reading groups and math groups within her class - so she can be in the "top" group and therefore have more challenges?

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to try to move but remember that nothing is perfect. So your kid might be challenged more if at a higher grade but be otherwise immature or whatever. This is, by the way, true of every child. My DS is on the young end of his grade and he is both smart and immature for his grade. If he was the year below he might be an academic superstar, or academically bored, but maybe he would also more self confident and assured. I would like that, but I didn't have the choice (May birthday) and he just is what he is.

I hate to say it, but you are going to have to deal with that in one of the grades. Most people don't have the choice of grades and even those who choose to redshirt probably shouldn't or if they should, it's for reasons they have to deal with (like yours - immature so lower grade, even though that impacts something else that is on or above grade level).

My DS has a friend that was redshirted and the boys are now teens. The mom is literally insufferable and talks all the time about the kid should be in the grade above really. I can't take it. I didn't even know the mom or the kid in kindergarten but it's not my fault he was redshirted and is now a grade below my son. She made a choice and at some point, you have to live with it.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Is your child happy where she is?

Just because she is ahead on some things, does not mean she is ahead on everything.

[Anonymous]

Does your school have differentiation? If so, she will be fine. Schools might let a girl move up though so you could try that too. Girl social issues can get quite dramatic. Be sure she can handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The Preschool teacher persuaded us to re-shirt my son who had a global developmental delay with ADHD.
He was SO BORED in first grade. The public school principal had told us there would be no way she would put him back in with his peers.
But given his academic level, and the fact that his grade was overcrowded, he did make it back to his peer group and immediately felt a little better. Now he's in a gifted program in middle school and feels MUCH better

So be prepared to persuade the school administration with test results and things like that.

I am curious about your child's global developmental delay, and wonder whether you are using the term the same way I would.

What cognitive skills were delayed in your child when they were approaching Kindergarten age, that resolved later on?

[Anonymous]

If you really want to get her back into her age appropriate grade level, the Montessori school is probably your best option. They might be willing to have her spend just two years in the lower elementary class, assuming she masters the material and social interactions. It also buys you some time before you have to make the final decision and decide when she moves up to upper el (or 4th grade somewhere else)
Of course, that assumes your ok with Montessori for elementary, which, as I'm sure you know, is very different that traditional classrooms

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a teacher, I think that boredom in school is much more a function of a kid's personality, and of classroom managemetn than a kid's learning style. I was an introvert kid with a very high IQ and very high academic skills, who was never bored in school because I enjoyed daydreaming, challenging myself with problems in the margins on my paper, whatever. I've had kids with similar IQ's and academic skills who are super extroverted and love the social piece of school. On the other hand, I see plenty of kids with IQ's and academic skills all over the map who just don't like any activity that isn't exactly at their zone of proximal development. It doesn't seem to matter if the activity they're doing is one that every one knows how to do (e.g. wiping tables after lunch, lining up) something they mastered 5 minutes ago, or something they learned years ago, or something that's just a little to hard. These kids are prone to boredom. For many of these kids, putting them in a curriculum that includes a lot of activities that naturally differentiate, such as creative writing, research projects, strategy games, independent reading, helps a lot, but there are still kids, again of all intelligence levels, who don't automatically challenge themselves.

I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't see a grade skip as the answer to boredom. It could be that the issue is a school with lots of busy work, which would likely be an issue for her anywhere. It could also be that the issue is your kid isn't taking advantage of the opportunities they are given to drive their own learning, which is a more complicated issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a teacher, I think that boredom in school is much more a function of a kid's personality, and of classroom managemetn than a kid's learning style. I was an introvert kid with a very high IQ and very high academic skills, who was never bored in school because I enjoyed daydreaming, challenging myself with problems in the margins on my paper, whatever. I've had kids with similar IQ's and academic skills who are super extroverted and love the social piece of school. On the other hand, I see plenty of kids with IQ's and academic skills all over the map who just don't like any activity that isn't exactly at their zone of proximal development. It doesn't seem to matter if the activity they're doing is one that every one knows how to do (e.g. wiping tables after lunch, lining up) something they mastered 5 minutes ago, or something they learned years ago, or something that's just a little to hard. These kids are prone to boredom. For many of these kids, putting them in a curriculum that includes a lot of activities that naturally differentiate, such as creative writing, research projects, strategy games, independent reading, helps a lot, but there are still kids, again of all intelligence levels, who don't automatically challenge themselves.

I guess what I'm saying is that I wouldn't see a grade skip as the answer to boredom. It could be that the issue is a school with lots of busy work, which would likely be an issue for her anywhere. It could also be that the issue is your kid isn't taking advantage of the opportunities they are given to drive their own learning, which is a more complicated issue.

This is an excellent and insightful post. I think the OP has disappeared, but if she comes back she should heed this advice. It 100% makes sense.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand redshirting. I feel like everyone I know is talking about holding their kids back a year before putting them in kindergarten. There was no redshirting where I grew up. My birthday was in the last quarter of the calendar year and I did fine in school. I was usually one of the youngest in my classes. Why is redshirting even allowed? Why would people want their kids turning 7 in kindergarten?

I can understand people in OP's situation with a child who legitimately has mental health issues, but barring that, redshirting feels like over protective helicopter parents selling their kids short.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The Preschool teacher persuaded us to re-shirt my son who had a global developmental delay with ADHD.
He was SO BORED in first grade. The public school principal had told us there would be no way she would put him back in with his peers.
But given his academic level, and the fact that his grade was overcrowded, he did make it back to his peer group and immediately felt a little better. Now he's in a gifted program in middle school and feels MUCH better

So be prepared to persuade the school administration with test results and things like that.

I am curious about your child's global developmental delay, and wonder whether you are using the term the same way I would.

What cognitive skills were delayed in your child when they were approaching Kindergarten age, that resolved later on?

I am using it the way he was diagnosed as toddler. He went through tons of therapy and as a Kindergartner had significant speech and motor delays, symptoms of severe ADHD and below-average results on the Stanford Binet (I hope I recall the name correctly). Those were the "objective" reasons for red-shirting. I knew he was also intellectually curious and had marked interests beyond his years, but those never translated on tests! It turns out he is twice exceptional, gifted and learning disabled, but we did not understand this until much later.

My point is that some children do not have the linear development that school is set up for. OP's child could very well thrive again if she is placed within her peer group - I think what matters beyond tests and evaluations is OP's gut feeling. Just as my gut feeling ended up being justified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand redshirting. I feel like everyone I know is talking about holding their kids back a year before putting them in kindergarten. There was no redshirting where I grew up. My birthday was in the last quarter of the calendar year and I did fine in school. I was usually one of the youngest in my classes. Why is redshirting even allowed? Why would people want their kids turning 7 in kindergarten?

I can understand people in OP's situation with a child who legitimately has mental health issues, but barring that, redshirting feels like over protective helicopter parents selling their kids short.

People especially think that boys are "immature" and need an extra year of growth and development. Parents don't think their young boys can sit in their desks quietly and do first-grade work in kindergarten. FF to middle school. These redshirted boys are hitting puberty earlier than their peers, are taller, and are dominating at sports when teams are grouped based on grade rather than age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand redshirting. I feel like everyone I know is talking about holding their kids back a year before putting them in kindergarten. There was no redshirting where I grew up. My birthday was in the last quarter of the calendar year and I did fine in school. I was usually one of the youngest in my classes. Why is redshirting even allowed? Why would people want their kids turning 7 in kindergarten?

I can understand people in OP's situation with a child who legitimately has mental health issues, but barring that, redshirting feels like over protective helicopter parents selling their kids short.

People especially think that boys are "immature" and need an extra year of growth and development. Parents don't think their young boys can sit in their desks quietly and do first-grade work in kindergarten. FF to middle school. These redshirted boys are hitting puberty earlier than their peers, are taller, and are dominating at sports when teams are grouped based on grade rather than age.

Time for the sweeping generalizations. Those are the only kids you KNOW are redshirted. There are plenty of quiet, under-developed boys in the room who you don't know about. My son is one of them. He is now in 4th grade and still probably the shortest and definitely not hitting puberty. He looks about 7.

[Anonymous]

Every child is different. There is nothing wrong with redshirting. There is nothing wrong with choosing not to redshirt. It depends on the kid.

[Anonymous]

I would do a school visit day at the Montessori and see how she likes it - bc she came from Montessori she may just learn better that way anyway - then they can help you figure out the right placement ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you really want to get her back into her age appropriate grade level, the Montessori school is probably your best option. They might be willing to have her spend just two years in the lower elementary class, assuming she masters the material and social interactions. It also buys you some time before you have to make the final decision and decide when she moves up to upper el (or 4th grade somewhere else)
Of course, that assumes your ok with Montessori for elementary, which, as I'm sure you know, is very different that traditional classrooms

+1. She'll be appropriately challenged and have a completely individual work plan.