Gave SAHM asked-for career advice: No response

[Anonymous]

Here's what happened: she was overwhelmed. She's racked with self doubt. A day or two went by and then she felt mortified about not responding. A few more and the situation just spiraled. Now she's just hoping you (and your sister) forgot the whole thing because she's embarrassed. You can be annoyed if you'd like, but why not reach out one more time if you'd really like to help?

[Anonymous]

Somewhere in the world right now as we type a person just got bitten by a poisonous snake is crawling through some insufferably hot jungle wondering whether they're going to make it to the hospital in time to get a dose of anti-venom...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's what happened: she was overwhelmed. She's racked with self doubt. A day or two went by and then she felt mortified about not responding. A few more and the situation just spiraled. Now she's just hoping you (and your sister) forgot the whole thing because she's embarrassed. You can be annoyed if you'd like, but why not reach out one more time if you'd really like to help?

+1

Maybe she wanted to craft the *perfect* response for you and got caught in that trap. She might be paralyzed or overwhelmed by both her ability to respond and/or the actual work ahead for her. Or maybe she was mid-reply and something big came up - sick kid, etc.

It was very kind of you. I'm sure she must be very grateful even if she hadn't communicated it to you yet. Hope she gets her act together to do what she needs to do!

[Anonymous]

There are lots of reasons that could have prevented her from responding...overwhelmed, not really into the advice or didn't really ask for it or possibly a family crisis. She could also be living in her own little world and just doesn't realize how rude she is being. It is definitely rude not to respond, but I would let it be. If you really want to reach out and find out the truth, maybe send a short and friendly email asking if she has any questions. It might make her realize that she needs to respond or even that she didn't respond. I suspect that she is overwhelmed with the information you sent and doesn't know where to start. Even if it didn't excuse her non-response, it could be your answer. If she doesn't respond to your 2nd email then I would assume that she actually never wanted to hear from you in the first place and your sister pushed you on her friend. At that point I would let it go and forget about it.

[Anonymous]

That's obnoxious.
I've had that happen when people ask for legal advice. I'll email them with a substantive response to their issue, and then never hear back a thanks or anything. Annoying.

[Anonymous]

She was putting on a front for her husband, i.e. making it look like she's trying to find a job. She has no interest. Drop it.

[Anonymous]

No excuse for not sending a quick email to say thank you.

[Anonymous]

There's ZERO excuse for not sending at least a one-liner. "Thank you so much! Life is crazy this week but I hope to read and digest all of this shortly".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's ZERO excuse for not sending at least a one-liner. "Thank you so much! Life is crazy this week but I hope to read and digest all of this shortly".

This.

[Anonymous]

Your advice reminded her that careers involve some actual work, and she's too ashamed to admit that she's not willing to put in the effort, after all.

[Anonymous]

Even if sis got it doesn't mean. She got it or yours

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had similar experiences. I try not to take it personally but it's hard. You feel taken for granted.

This isn't a SAHM thing. I've had this happen repeatedly with students who find my name in the alumni directory and ask for career advice. They spend 45 min talking through their dreams and their desired career scenarios. I give advice on their CVs and send contacts. 50 percent of the time I get a thank you. Teach your kids to say thanks and to value people's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, it does have nothing to do with that. Which is why it's odd how much the OP stressed it in both the title and the content of her post.

+1
Being a SAHM actually has nothing to do with the fact that she didn't respond (so why put it in the title of the post? Oh, I know! To attract haters!) Anyhow, I've had exactly the same thing happen before with colleagues looking for advice, or recommendations for surgeons, or asking what to expect during a medical procedure that I've also had, etc. I wind up writing long, detailed responses and then never hear back from them again. It happens and it's annoying and rude - but has nothing to do with one's work status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your advice reminded her that careers involve some actual work, and she's too ashamed to admit that she's not willing to put in the effort, after all.

You're an idiot.

[Anonymous]

It IS indeed very rude of her to not respond back after two whole weeks!!

What is wrong w/some people??!