Gave SAHM asked-for career advice: No response

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see why you had to mention that she was a SAHM in your post. Seems irrelevant and just opening yet another door to bash SAHMs.

I'm sorry that you helped a person out and didn't get a response but this could have happened with anyone.

OP here. Again, I was a SAHM for three years. Maybe I should have put that in my original post, but my point was--this person has no recent experience, and no contact in a field where I have more recent experience and more contacts. In this particular part of life, freelance writing, she is starting from Ground Zero. So everything I gave her, including story pitches/ideas, was a huge leap forward for her. I think that's relevant. I think that's a bigger "gift" than, say, telling an attorney friend who's asking for potential client leads about a lead; presumably, she'd already have a base of clients and contacts.

She's probably in over her head. Maybe she thought that writing is fun and I will try it because I don't want to go back to (xyz) but your email was an overwhelming eye opener to her, especially since you sound very accomplished and professional. It could happen to anyone. But she should say thanks, I don't think I can do this after all!

This. I'll bet she thought freelance writing is a lark, and when you wrote back and gave her a peek behind the curtain, she felt overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

I've had similar experiences. I try not to take it personally but it's hard. You feel taken for granted.

[Anonymous]

I had this happen as well. I replied to a former cooleague's request for advice with a super long thoughtful email. No reply, no thanks, no follow up. I assume she is busy since she has a baby at home but it's still rude.

[Anonymous]

I'd reach out to her and ask if she had a chance to look over your email. Maybe suggest lunch again. Sometimes reaching out to someone can make a big difference in their outlook, especially if they are overwhelmed.

I do think it is very rude not to respond to you and you are in no way obligated to reach out again.

[Anonymous]

I agree, it does have nothing to do with that. Which is why it's odd how much the OP stressed it in both the title and the content of her post.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter if OP was a SAHM. The hate can grow. And her post showed it was present here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had similar experiences. I try not to take it personally but it's hard. You feel taken for granted.

I've had this happen a bunch of times and it's so incredibly rude. A friend connected me to two pregnant friends of hers looking for advice, I sent back a long email with advice, and no response from either of them. I just don't understand how people can do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did she ask for the help or did your sister manufacture this need? I'm imagining an off hand comment where your sister says, "you should talk to my sister, I'll connect you with her."

Because this has happened to me, I say, oh I'd love to be a dog trainer, it seems so interesting and fun! And a well
meaning, meddling helper type connects me with a contact and I'm all like, um, I wasn't serious.

Still it's rude not to reply with thank you.

I agree with this poster.

I like to daydream sometimes. "I wonder what it would be like to win the lottery . . . . I wonder what it would be like to have four arms . . . . I wonder how freelance writers market their material . . . . . ." Maybe this friend happened to daydream out loud in front of your sister and your sister ran with it.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. Based on Op's first post and her follow-up, it may be possible that your email was so long, so preachy, so pedantic, and perhaps so overwhelming that woman didn't know what to do with all that information. Or there are whole host of reasons why she might not have gotten back to you right away. Why I always look for the bad in people. Damn.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like a flake. It was nice of you to give the advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. Based on Op's first post and her follow-up, it may be possible that your email was so long, so preachy, so pedantic, and perhaps so overwhelming that woman didn't know what to do with all that information. Or there are whole host of reasons why she might not have gotten back to you right away. Why I always look for the bad in people. Damn.

all she had to do was say thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. Based on Op's first post and her follow-up, it may be possible that your email was so long, so preachy, so pedantic, and perhaps so overwhelming that woman didn't know what to do with all that information. Or there are whole host of reasons why she might not have gotten back to you right away. Why I always look for the bad in people. Damn.

all she had to do was say thanks.

+1
Saying thanks for the information is not hard, and a short response is better than none

[Anonymous]

I've had experiences like this too OP and it feels crummy. It is definitely rude, and thoughtless.

You did a very nice thing. Hopefully you'll have the chance to do something similar for someone else someday and that person will be more appreciative.

People can be so crummy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she ask for the help or did your sister manufacture this need? I'm imagining an off hand comment where your sister says, "you should talk to my sister, I'll connect you with her."

Because this has happened to me, I say, oh I'd love to be a dog trainer, it seems so interesting and fun! And a well
meaning, meddling helper type connects me with a contact and I'm all like, um, I wasn't serious.

Still it's rude not to reply with thank you.

I agree with this poster.

I like to daydream sometimes. "I wonder what it would be like to win the lottery . . . . I wonder what it would be like to have four arms . . . . I wonder how freelance writers market their material . . . . . ." Maybe this friend happened to daydream out loud in front of your sister and your sister ran with it.

This is what I was thinking too.

[Anonymous]

Dude. You wrote an email. It's really not that big of a deal. Now if I receive like something like that of course I would say thank you.

But I assume when I don't hear back that people either thought they hit reply or it's stuck in the outbox or they forgot or their lives are busy. You know things happen.

Maybe if it is as long as you say she didn't even have a chance to read it yet!!