Should president of the PTO also be a room parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. Only one mom was on the list to volunteer but I don't know her so I volunteered to be room parent. I feel a little guilty now.

This why people don't get involved and call the PTA a microcosm of makework mean girls. . You didn't know her, so you simply didn't allow her the chance to help?

Another who feels exactly the same way. People like OP are why I don't volunteer - it's too much work to get picked because of the mean girl network.

[Anonymous]

Well, if I were PTA president, I wouldn't volunteer for anything else. First it's a lot of work, second it's bad form to hog all the positions.

Please keep that in mind for next time, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP your main job, your main mission as PTO leader is getting other parents involved. I can understand that you accepted or sought the room parent job, perhaps, without much thought. I think you should not do it. And I do not think the other candidate should have to "co-share" the duty with you.

+1 OP this is the best management decision you could make. Much of good management is about bringing in talent, delegating tasks and building the institution and morale. I don't think it's too late to make this change.

[Anonymous]

In what world are people fighting for these jobs!?? At my DCPS ES (a NWDC school with lots of wealth) anyone who is willing to do the work is welcome! First come first served for room parents-- and there's little competition for PTA positions because its so much damn work!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. Only one mom was on the list to volunteer but I don't know her so I volunteered to be room parent. I feel a little guilty now.

Seriously? You didn't know her, so you didn't give her the opportunity to get involved? Yeah, that's not cool and absolutely why people get frustrated with the PTO moms. In a few months when you don't have people showing up at your meetings you'll know why. You took an opportunity to get other parents involved and instead chose to be exclusionary and insular just because you didn't know someone. Mean girl behavior all grown up.

If you truly feel guilty and realize your mistake, it's not too late in the year to fix it - reach out to the mom, apologize, and ask if she's still willing to do the job. Then back away, let her do it without your interference

Amen. If I signed up and found out that the PTO president chose herself instead, I would think to myself, "Well, if she wants to do it all by herself, she is more than welcome to." And frankly, that would be the end of my involvement with the PTO, because I'm too old for that junior high shit.

You should feel guilty, because that was a petty, bitchy thing to do.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to have it all. Let her do it. You will turn her off on volunteering if you hoard the jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In what world are people fighting for these jobs!?? At my DCPS ES (a NWDC school with lots of wealth) anyone who is willing to do the work is welcome! First come first served for room parents-- and there's little competition for PTA positions because its so much damn work!!!

Our MoCo classroom made it clear parent volunteers were not welcome. Other classrooms allow it, but not ours. I'm very disappointed with the policy.

OP is doing a great job of keeping class sizes smaller. She makes parents feel unwanted at the school and those parents either move or go off to private. Good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This can't be real.

It could be. I signed up first on the list for room parent and wasn't selected. New to the school so they don't know me. I could be that mom she is talking about.

[Anonymous]

I'm shocked. You had to be chosen? Over other moms? At my school half the classes don't even have room parents. Our president would be thrilled if someone else stepped up to do something. Unless you are a glutton for punishment, just thank the teacher for choosing you, but point out that you'd prefer to spread out the responsibilities a little, and that you'll still be there when she needs you.

[Anonymous]

The teacher didn't really choose me. I hinted that since I'm already in the school a lot, that I would be the better choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teacher didn't really choose me. I hinted that since I'm already in the school a lot, that I would be the better choice.

Out of curiosity, how do you "hint" at that without looking like an asshole? Because you certainly look like one on this thread.

You don't know what this other person's commitment is, other than that she volunteered before you did. Maybe you shouldn't be PTO president either. You don't sound like a person who is good at helping other parents get involved in the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The teacher didn't really choose me. I hinted that since I'm already in the school a lot, that I would be the better choice.

Out of curiosity, how do you "hint" at that without looking like an asshole? Because you certainly look like one on this thread.

You don't know what this other person's commitment is, other than that she volunteered before you did. Maybe you shouldn't be PTO president either. You don't sound like a person who is good at helping other parents get involved in the school.

Wow, just Wow. Don't complain you are doing too much, overwhelmed and all that non-sense. Great way to make other parents feel welcomed at school/

[Anonymous]

OP, you owe the other mom an apology. And you should withdraw as room parent.

In your new letter to the class parents and guardians, however, you should not self aggrandize and certainly not allude to all your other 'important' duties as the reason for withdrawal - because that would be a second slam to the other mom. Instead, you should gracefully acknowledge your mistake and welcome the other mom as the room parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh. You're giving the anti-PTO moms great material. Because this is what PTO moms do. Fix it. (and yes, I heard that the letter already went out. oh my)

I came back to see if OP has done the right thing yet?

[Anonymous]

Yeah OP I think you should have sat on your hands here and given someone else a chance.