DW is too invested in DD making the cheerleading squad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had no idea that the cheer on the boys cheerleading squads still existed. But I absolutely would not let my daughter be on a squad with all the athletic opportunities for girls and I was a high school cheerleader. It's antiquated and demeaning. Not a big fan of cheer as a travel sport either, but that is slightly better.

+1. It's sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad everyone here has an opinion on competitive cheer, but that doesn't really have much to do with OP's question about his wife.

What would happen if you told you're wife she too invested, OP?

OP here. She would probably bite my head off and storm out of the room.

To answer a few other things here: I stated my view on this once and exactly once, in an age-appropriate way. I've since encouraged my dd to try out, do her best, and decide what she wants to do after. It's 100% absolutely her decision. As for the travel sport, I was ready for her to be done with that already, so if she quits that I won't be crying (it takes a lot out of weekends, etc).

My queasiness with the whole thing has more to do with a fundamental objection to the concept of (only female in this case) cheering for boys and the association middle school cheerleaders conjure, which is admittedly based on stereotypes but reinforced by reports by my older child in the school and my own recollection about how middle school cheerleaders behaved.

If she eventually migrates to competitive cheer, so be it. I don't have as much of an issue with that. I probably wouldn't enjoy watching it as much as I watch her play the sport, but that's just a personal preference. I'd go, smile broadly, and give her a big hug after it was over. Heck, I'll do that, too, for MS cheer, although the thought of being forced to watch middle school boys play basketball doesn't exactly thrill me.

Having lived through this, I do not believe you for a minute. This sounds to me like a fight over which sport your DD will do. Will it be the manly basketball, or the feminine cheer? Your DD will let you know which she prefers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2) Competitive cheerleaders are NOT "performing for the boys". Period. They are performing for judges and competing against other teams. They are performing for their parents in the stands. And they are performing for themselves.

This was my understanding too. My guess is that in culture, competitive cheerleading is more like competitive dance.

I did dance. Dance, cheer, gymnastics ... yes, the athleticism is incredible. It still isn't enough to completely outweigh concerns about the pressure on body image and "looksism." I would be very, very ambivalent if my daughter wanted to do cheer. The part of it that's about performing a very particular sort of femininity is distasteful, whatever the incredible physical feats are involved.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned your older DD not being in the "popular" group. Is it possible your DW just wants a different experience for your younger DD because she saw how much your older DD was effected?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a fan of cheerleading. Sure those women (and men) who tumble and do stunts are strong and tough, but if it's all about the athleticism, why the caked on makeup, short skirts and bare midriffs? I agree that I would rather have my children playing the sports versus cheering someone else on.

But you have to let your daughter decide. I wish your wife weren't so pushy about it.

This! Any "sport" where what you look like plays a part in your assessment is not a sport. It is nonsense. They are pretending to cheer and yet cheering for no one. It is literally one of the most ridiculous, laughable trends to sweep the nation. And yes, gymnastics is not a sport. It is subjective assessment.

So figure skating is not a sport? You are telling me that I can show up in pajamas(not pajamas costume) and win Olympic gold in figure skating? So, gymnastics is a circus act? You are totally not all up there.

Its not a sport because it is a subjective assessment and what you wear and how you look does play a big part in that assessment. It is a talent contest at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a fan of cheerleading. Sure those women (and men) who tumble and do stunts are strong and tough, but if it's all about the athleticism, why the caked on makeup, short skirts and bare midriffs? I agree that I would rather have my children playing the sports versus cheering someone else on.

But you have to let your daughter decide. I wish your wife weren't so pushy about it.

This! Any "sport" where what you look like plays a part in your assessment is not a sport. It is nonsense. They are pretending to cheer and yet cheering for no one. It is literally one of the most ridiculous, laughable trends to sweep the nation. And yes, gymnastics is not a sport. It is subjective assessment.

So figure skating is not a sport? You are telling me that I can show up in pajamas(not pajamas costume) and win Olympic gold in figure skating? So, gymnastics is a circus act? You are totally not all up there.

Its not a sport because it is a subjective assessment and what you wear and how you look does play a big part in that assessment. It is a talent contest at best.

Well, I guess you know better than the rest of the world. People with some mental capacity would say" in my opinion, this is not a sport," but you lack those. Stupid is as stupid does.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are overthinking it and basing your opinion on ... not your daughter. Is your daughter a mean girl, a popularity pimp, a fawn over boys type? If not, then what are worried about? It is an activity she is choosing. She is who she is, and from your knowledge of her -- a real life person you know -- should you form your opinion about cheerleaders at her school.

[Anonymous]

There is a pretty large contingent of credible folks who don't consider it a sport otherwise there would be no argument. There is no discussion of whether baseball is a sport because it clearly is. I know you think your daughter is pretty terrific, you enjoy watching her perform and she probably works hard but it is no more a sport than dance and it is silly to call something cheerleading when you are cheering for nothing and leading no one. I think ending with calling me stupid was a very classy touch and likely indicative of your hypersensitivity regarding this issue. Send her to "cheer" just once in a simple appropriately sporting outfit, no 1920s bow in her hair and no make up and see how well she does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a pretty large contingent of credible folks who don't consider it a sport otherwise there would be no argument. There is no discussion of whether baseball is a sport because it clearly is. I know you think your daughter is pretty terrific, you enjoy watching her perform and she probably works hard but it is no more a sport than dance and it is silly to call something cheerleading when you are cheering for nothing and leading no one. I think ending with calling me stupid was a very classy touch and likely indicative of your hypersensitivity regarding this issue. Send her to "cheer" just once in a simple appropriately sporting outfit, no 1920s bow in her hair and no make up and see how well she does.

Baseball is a sport? First I heard of it. Boring past time, with very little physical activity involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mentioned your older DD not being in the "popular" group. Is it possible your DW just wants a different experience for your younger DD because she saw how much your older DD was effected?

OP here. Yes, definitely. They're also very different kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a pretty large contingent of credible folks who don't consider it a sport otherwise there would be no argument. There is no discussion of whether baseball is a sport because it clearly is. I know you think your daughter is pretty terrific, you enjoy watching her perform and she probably works hard but it is no more a sport than dance and it is silly to call something cheerleading when you are cheering for nothing and leading no one. I think ending with calling me stupid was a very classy touch and likely indicative of your hypersensitivity regarding this issue. Send her to "cheer" just once in a simple appropriately sporting outfit, no 1920s bow in her hair and no make up and see how well she does.

Baseball is a sport? First I heard of it. Boring past time, with very little physical activity involved.

You've obviously never played. It's actually quite physically demanding.

[Anonymous]

Have you watched a cheerleading team lately? Cheerleading is a competitive sport. Your daughter should choose what she likes, and if your family has the resources for camp and whatnot, you should support cheerleading in the same way you support the other sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a fan of cheerleading. Sure those women (and men) who tumble and do stunts are strong and tough, but if it's all about the athleticism, why the caked on makeup, short skirts and bare midriffs? I agree that I would rather have my children playing the sports versus cheering someone else on.

But you have to let your daughter decide. I wish your wife weren't so pushy about it.

This! Any "sport" where what you look like plays a part in your assessment is not a sport. It is nonsense. They are pretending to cheer and yet cheering for no one. It is literally one of the most ridiculous, laughable trends to sweep the nation. And yes, gymnastics is not a sport. It is subjective assessment.

So figure skating is not a sport? You are telling me that I can show up in pajamas(not pajamas costume) and win Olympic gold in figure skating? So, gymnastics is a circus act? You are totally not all up there.

Its not a sport because it is a subjective assessment and what you wear and how you look does play a big part in that assessment. It is a talent contest at best.

Well, I guess you know better than the rest of the world. People with some mental capacity would say" in my opinion, this is not a sport," but you lack those. Stupid is as stupid does.

I'm a different poster, and figure skating also immediately came to my mind as another sport in which the athletes are subjectively assessed and costuming/appearance is a factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a pretty large contingent of credible folks who don't consider it a sport otherwise there would be no argument. There is no discussion of whether baseball is a sport because it clearly is. I know you think your daughter is pretty terrific, you enjoy watching her perform and she probably works hard but it is no more a sport than dance and it is silly to call something cheerleading when you are cheering for nothing and leading no one. I think ending with calling me stupid was a very classy touch and likely indicative of your hypersensitivity regarding this issue. Send her to "cheer" just once in a simple appropriately sporting outfit, no 1920s bow in her hair and no make up and see how well she does.

Baseball is a sport? First I heard of it. Boring past time, with very little physical activity involved.

You've obviously never played. It's actually quite physically demanding.

Is it? I don't think so. You also have to dress up like a clown, imo, see this, imo. I see absolutely nothing physically demanding about it compared to gymnastics or figure skating. My dog can play it, so it must not be a sport.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a dog in this fight but...A federal court has ruled that cheerleading is not a sport.