What is the hardest decision you've ever made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two hardest decisions aren't yet done yet. First is how to handle my extremely dysfunctional sister who is profoundly mentally ill and I don't know what to do. I am not qualified to provide the help she needs, and she is miserably unhappy but there is nothing in the world I can do to help. For now, I talk to her weekly and listen to her and tell her I think she needs to have medication. Second is whether to stay married to my husband who had a year-long affair. We have three young children and I love him. But the affair nearly destroyed me.

I make a new decision every day on these two issues. Every day I decide whether or not to answer the phone when my sister calls. Every day I decide to stay with my husband. Every day I put off a final decision. Boundaries - I need them!

I'm sorry you are going through this.
You sound very strong and I hope you get a break now and again.

[Anonymous]

I have had to do some difficult things but not many of them have involved difficult "decisons". I dont find that part hard. I am quick to consider and then decide life choices.

[Anonymous]

Deciding whether to marry my now DH. To take on that permanent commitment. I agonized over it through the whole engagement and luckily the doubts evaporated the minute we were actually married.

[doodlebug]

I haven't had to make a lot of extremely difficult decisions but two of the more difficult ones were to have my cat euthanized (she had breast cancer w/ a tumor on her belly that was growing like crazy, and she had hyperthyroidism that was barely managed w/ the highest dose of meds. Make the decision of when to euthanize was really hard.)

The other was with regard to my preplanning for death. I'm only 43 but I'm single and if I die unexpectedly, and especially if I'm traveling when I die, I didn't want my elderly mother or my siblings to have to try and figure out what to do and how to pay for it. This way the decision making is all done and it's all paid for. I went for the simplest option and will be cremated and interred in an older sister grave. Done. I don't think my mom likes the idea of cremation but I don't like *any* of the options but laying around in a box turning into human soup was particularly unappealing.

[Anonymous]

paper or plastic

[Anonymous]

- Not reporting my rape in college because I didn't want to let my parents down (yes, that was my thought process). I now regret that decision and wish I had but at that point, I thought it would hurt them too much and I know they wouldn't be okay with me living away from them. It was tough to keep that to myself and to this day, they don't know. It still hurts.

- Finally deciding to fight back against my abusive ex boyfriend. It saved my life although when 911 finally showed up (took a while) they didn't know what my chances would be with how much blood I had lost.

- Deciding to walk away from my fiancé after a devastating miscarriage. He tried to rush me to get over it and didn't understand why I didn't want to immediately try again. He had no idea what losing a baby felt like and despite being perfect in every other way, I knew that I couldn't one day marry this man. I loved him then and part of me still loves him now, but my whole world came crashing down when the miscarriage happened and I still don't know if I've fully recovered from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My most difficult decision by far was to decide whether to terminate a late second trimester pregnancy because of severe, but not necessarily fatal, congenital defects.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- Not reporting my rape in college because I didn't want to let my parents down (yes, that was my thought process). I now regret that decision and wish I had but at that point, I thought it would hurt them too much and I know they wouldn't be okay with me living away from them. It was tough to keep that to myself and to this day, they don't know. It still hurts.

- Finally deciding to fight back against my abusive ex boyfriend. It saved my life although when 911 finally showed up (took a while) they didn't know what my chances would be with how much blood I had lost.

- Deciding to walk away from my fiancé after a devastating miscarriage. He tried to rush me to get over it and didn't understand why I didn't want to immediately try again. He had no idea what losing a baby felt like and despite being perfect in every other way, I knew that I couldn't one day marry this man. I loved him then and part of me still loves him now, but my whole world came crashing down when the miscarriage happened and I still don't know if I've fully recovered from it.

Counseling would have been another option. People respond very differently to grief.

[Anonymous]

I moved to Texas with the sole intention of getting into a very competitive academic program. I was rejected my first time applying, but decided to keep trying - it was my dream. Meanwhile, I became engaged during a LTR and my then-fiancé moved to Californiafor work. Instead of continuing to pursue my academic/career dreams and goals via the program, I moved to be with him. This was three years ago. Now I'm a SAHM in Europe - and, admittedly, wonder how life would be different if I'd stayed in Texas.

[Anonymous]

Kind of in the midst of "deciding." This summer I learned that my emotionally abusive husband cheated on me, but was pregnant when I found out. I'm not making any decisions right now, but I'm not sure I can stay with him long-term. Sucks really really badly.

[Anonymous]

Divorcing my cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Putting my elderly dog down instead of spending the $3,000 on an emergency surgery that *might* have saved him. At the time, I felt like if I really loved him I should pay for the surgery, damn the cost. However, I couldn't justify the money given that it wasn't that likely to work and that we'd already paid several thousand over the preceding months on vet care that didn't help him. Now I realize I made the right call by letting him go, even if it was for money reasons at the time.

+100. The hardest decision we ever had to make was putting our dog to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kind of in the midst of "deciding." This summer I learned that my emotionally abusive husband cheated on me, but was pregnant when I found out. I'm not making any decisions right now, but I'm not sure I can stay with him long-term. Sucks really really badly.

Why would you ever stay with an abusive husband??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- Not reporting my rape in college because I didn't want to let my parents down (yes, that was my thought process). I now regret that decision and wish I had but at that point, I thought it would hurt them too much and I know they wouldn't be okay with me living away from them. It was tough to keep that to myself and to this day, they don't know. It still hurts.

- Finally deciding to fight back against my abusive ex boyfriend. It saved my life although when 911 finally showed up (took a while) they didn't know what my chances would be with how much blood I had lost.

- Deciding to walk away from my fiancé after a devastating miscarriage. He tried to rush me to get over it and didn't understand why I didn't want to immediately try again. He had no idea what losing a baby felt like and despite being perfect in every other way, I knew that I couldn't one day marry this man. I loved him then and part of me still loves him now, but my whole world came crashing down when the miscarriage happened and I still don't know if I've fully recovered from it.

Counseling would have been another option. People respond very differently to grief.

PP here. Not an option when your fiancé is firmly against counseling and thinks it's all fake and BS.

[Anonymous]

Getting divorced. It was the last thing I wanted, for me, but especially for my kids.