Bf proposed last night; his family is unhappy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Fiance and I are so happy!!

We are in our late twenties and I have known his family for the last few years, attending all holidays with them and all. I never got the sense that they like me but fiance and I made a good faith effort to include me in family events so they get used to me being around and know that he is serious about me.

Since yesterday, they have not called or reached out to us to apologize or wish us well. I'm really sad but I mostly feel for my fiance. He doesn't deserve such cold treatment after proposing to the love of his life.

OP, how have you been able to spend all holidays with your fiance's family? Did you not spend any holidays at all with your own family?

[mjsmith]

OP

it sounds like mama doesn't want to let go of her son.

My mother was similar in that she loved my DW jus didn't like the idea of her son being married. IE "I'm not her little boy any more"

She was even less than thrilled when we moved 700 miles away about a three years after we got married and one year after having our child.

Honestly I would not read to much into..

[Anonymous]

Are there cultural, demographic or racial issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Fiance and I are so happy!!

We are in our late twenties and I have known his family for the last few years, attending all holidays with them and all. I never got the sense that they like me but fiance and I made a good faith effort to include me in family events so they get used to me being around and know that he is serious about me.

Since yesterday, they have not called or reached out to us to apologize or wish us well. I'm really sad but I mostly feel for my fiance. He doesn't deserve such cold treatment after proposing to the love of his life.

Well then, this comes as no surprise, then.

Again, OP, they are not obligated to like you.

Also, they might come around and you might have a very lovely relationship years from now, so please don't burn any bridges. Rise above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Fiance and I are so happy!!

We are in our late twenties and I have known his family for the last few years, attending all holidays with them and all. I never got the sense that they like me but fiance and I made a good faith effort to include me in family events so they get used to me being around and know that he is serious about me.

Since yesterday, they have not called or reached out to us to apologize or wish us well. I'm really sad but I mostly feel for my fiance. He doesn't deserve such cold treatment after proposing to the love of his life.

Well then, this comes as no surprise, then.

Again, OP, they are not obligated to like you.

Also, they might come around and you might have a very lovely relationship years from now, so please don't burn any bridges. Rise above.

Were you attending all holidays because DH doesn't want to disappoint his Mom? Did he go to holidays with your family? It is a red flag if it is so one-sided.

Don't try to win them over at this point. Back off, spend less time. Let DH-to-be manage it. Hang in for a bumpy ride the next few months, and do your best not to get into it!