At what age is it truly inappropriate for panties to show?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

Put pants on her and let her take up too much space in the world. If she's wearing a skirt, she can keep her shorts/undies covered. Dress appropriately, wear clothes appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

Put pants on her and let her take up too much space in the world. If she's wearing a skirt, she can keep her shorts/undies covered. Dress appropriately, wear clothes appropriately.

I can see covering undies, but I put shorts in the same category as pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

Put pants on her and let her take up too much space in the world. If she's wearing a skirt, she can keep her shorts/undies covered. Dress appropriately, wear clothes appropriately.

Well, they must need to be taught this at some point, even in pants, because I rarely (maybe never?) see a grown woman sitting with her legs spread wide apart like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

Put pants on her and let her take up too much space in the world. If she's wearing a skirt, she can keep her shorts/undies covered. Dress appropriately, wear clothes appropriately.

Well, they must need to be taught this at some point, even in pants, because I rarely (maybe never?) see a grown woman sitting with her legs spread wide apart like that.

Why do they need to be taught this?

And why aren't boys?!

[Anonymous]

The preschool I teach at asks that girls wear some kind of shorts under their skirts/dresses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

The issue for me is not taking up space or sprawling. I don't want to see a little kid's genitals, which is usually what ends up happening in this situation, be it a boy or a girl. It's part of learning to keep your body private that you don't sit in certain postures where your crotch is splayed forth. Whether you are a girl or a boy, this is immodest. I have certain friends with young kids, and I can't tell you how many times I've been flashed by their kids. I feel like a pervert. Get the kids some underwear and bottoms that actually fit, and start reinforcing the notion that the couch is not a jungle gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose 3 year old is potty trained?!

Why is this an issue? My son "trained" himself by 2.5 years.

My kids trained themselves when they were 3 days old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whose 3 year old is potty trained?!

Mine was at 25 months. Sensible people get this taken care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

Put pants on her and let her take up too much space in the world. If she's wearing a skirt, she can keep her shorts/undies covered. Dress appropriately, wear clothes appropriately.

Well, they must need to be taught this at some point, even in pants, because I rarely (maybe never?) see a grown woman sitting with her legs spread wide apart like that.

I'm sitting similarly to this right now. Of course, I'm at home on the couch by myself, I don't do it in social settings. and the PP freaking out about seeing kids' genitals has issues. You can sit with your knees not pressed together and still be completely covered up and modest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At what age do you tell your daughter to sit with her knees together? I am not a prude but remember being told to do so all the time by my mom. I don't want to shame my daughter. She's only an infant now but I'm thinking ahead.

We had a family friend come over and the girl (8, going into 3rd grade) sat on the couch spread eagle: sitting up, feet planted on cushions about shoulder width, knees spread. She was wearing shorts.

I definitely would've been corrected to not sit like that. The mother said nothing. What do you do say?

If you wouldn't tell your son not to sit with his feet planted shoulder width, etc, don't tell your daughter to, either. Let her take up space in the world!

Put pants on her and let her take up too much space in the world. If she's wearing a skirt, she can keep her shorts/undies covered. Dress appropriately, wear clothes appropriately.

Well, they must need to be taught this at some point, even in pants, because I rarely (maybe never?) see a grown woman sitting with her legs spread wide apart like that.

Why do they need to be taught this?

And why aren't boys?!

They both need to be taught and it depends on the situation. My 5 yo daughter sits with her legs apart all of the time. If she's on the couch or playing on the floor at home it's fine. I told her how to sit appropriately when we were out at a play last week. I didn't make a big deal other than saying it took up too much space and put your legs together. I also told her it was more polite for the event. I would say the same to my son.

[Anonymous]

Isn't it good for your hips to sit with legs apart? I hate that I naturally cross my legs all the time. I got in the habit during pregnancy of sitting with my legs apart, at best crossed at the ankles. Feels much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got my girls to wear skorts.

+1. I buy no skirts and few dresses. Although, less because of showing undies than because skirts ride up around her armpits and neither item is practical for the playground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:no bike shorts, no dresses. house rule.

What? They are little kids - why such a strict code on modesty? It's hot out. Cotton panties will do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it good for your hips to sit with legs apart? I hate that I naturally cross my legs all the time. I got in the habit during pregnancy of sitting with my legs apart, at best crossed at the ankles. Feels much better.

Yeah, crossing at the knees is not good for you. And also more likely to flash your underwear than ankle crossing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whose 3 year old is potty trained?!

A lot of 3 year olds! I teach 3 year olds, almost all of
My students are potty trained by the Time they get to me.

Indeed, many are. My DD before 2 on her own, but DS not till after 3 years old.