Sexually Active 16 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the advice here, however wonder how many DH and DW out there had sex at 16? I lost my virginity at 14 and still a sane, clean person.

Worst parenting philosophy of all time: "It Worked For Me, And I'm Fine."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love all the advice here, however wonder how many DH and DW out there had sex at 16? I lost my virginity at 14 and still a sane, clean person.

Right, many of us had sex as teens. But many of us have also gotten pregnant as teens, contracted diseases, etc. The point is now that the parents know this is happening, how should they proceed? Most of us are saying they should proceed by making damn sure the kids are being as safe as they can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love all the advice here, however wonder how many DH and DW out there had sex at 16? I lost my virginity at 14 and still a sane, clean person.

Worst parenting philosophy of all time: "It Worked For Me, And I'm Fine."

As a father of several kids, I told them at that age (just like my parents told me) that they are going to have to live with their consequences. Putting your kids in a bubble baby will only hurt them in the ability to grow up and learn from experiences.

[Anonymous]

I started having sex at 15. It did not ruin my life.

I like your son's honest approach.

[Anonymous]

Your son is being honest and open with you, which is more than a lot of 16 year old boys when it comes to this topic. That said, whichever PP mentioned having a serious talk with your son and the girl about getting on a more reliable form of birth control is correct. If her parents are indeed okay with her being sexually active, they should be more than willing to either get her on the Pill or take her in for a Skyla IUD. Personally, I worry a lot more about my son being sexually active than I do my daughters, because at least with the girls, I/we can ensure they are using reliable contraception and we'd have some say in the decision if, God forbid, one of them got pregnant.

Also, if your son has not received the Gardisil vaccine, make an appointment to have this done immediately. Chances are, this is not the last girl he will sleep with (although, I eventually married the guy I was having sex with at 16 and we're still together and happy 22 years later, so I guess you never know).

[Anonymous]

Wow this thread is insane.

OP, just have a talk with your son and tell him that he needs to be safe. Ask about what protection he is using (should be condoms + pill/something else) and what they plan to do if there is an unintended pregnancy. Make sure he understands the laws around consent (i.e., no sex if she is intoxicated) and that he is being respectful of his girlfriend.

If you try to punish him or prevent him from doing it, he is just going to start lying to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously people? Most of my friends - all good kids, great grades, athletic, nice were having sex at 16 if they had a serious boyfriend. I'd be happy that he is in a relationship versus hooking up all the time like a lot of kids that age. And they're being responsible!

Exactly. As long as they are both underage then big whoop. Have open and frank discussions about safe sex, respect, their communication and talk about what will happen if she gets pg (i.e.: job for him, no more sports and so on) and then buy a big bowl and fill it with condoms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do the following:

1) Tell him that you do not condone this behavior, but you understand you can't stop it. (because you can't)
2) Tell him that they need to be using TWO forms of birth control.
3) Tell him not to disrespect you by having sex in your house.

Right or wrong, this would be my approach, too.

I'd also discuss the emotional implications of having sex (it's not just physical), and the fact it could make breaking up all the more difficult. Or worse, make people stay together because they feel they've invested too much already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow this thread is insane.

OP, just have a talk with your son and tell him that he needs to be safe. Ask about what protection he is using (should be condoms + pill/something else) and what they plan to do if there is an unintended pregnancy. Make sure he understands the laws around consent (i.e., no sex if she is intoxicated) and that he is being respectful of his girlfriend.

If you try to punish him or prevent him from doing it, he is just going to start lying to you.

This this this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would do the following:

1) Tell him that you do not condone this behavior, but you understand you can't stop it. (because you can't)
2) Tell him that they need to be using TWO forms of birth control.
3) Tell him not to disrespect you by having sex in your house.

Right or wrong, this would be my approach, too.

I'd also discuss the emotional implications of having sex (it's not just physical), and the fact it could make breaking up all the more difficult. Or worse, make people stay together because they feel they've invested too much already.

3. What's the point of saying this?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, relax. 16 is like textbook normal age to have sex for the first time. Your kid is doing it with a long term partner and being honest with you about it. Make sure he has rubbers, is respectful to his gf, and (as someone says above) is respectful of the fact that you don't want them slamming up against the wall of your bedroom.

Otherwise, anything you do is a bad move. And frankly, unrealistic. Now is the time to trust in the kid you've raised. For what it's worth, I had sex for the first time at 16, constantly (!), with a long term GF and turned out OK. Great college, career, family, all of that. (And as it happens ex GF at 16 is now a great friend!). Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you sit down with both DS and the girlfriend. HAVE THE TALK. Ask them both about what protection they use. Ask them if they've talked about diseases, pregnancy, etc. Bring legit info with you about the risks of sex and what options they have. They might be uncomfortable but they should be able to talk about sex if they are old enough to do it.

That's just do off base and gross. Talk to your boyfriends parents about sex? Talk to your own parents about sex?
What planet are being beaming down from here exactly?

YES, parents need to talk about SEX with their KIDS[i][u] -- where exactly have you been, and how old are you? If they're old enough to do it, they're old enough to talk about it, and it is a parent's responsibility to teach and guide and give them the information they need to be responsible and healthy.

+1

[Anonymous]

I'm jealous. I wish I had more sex when I was young and beautiful.

Buy him condoms, make sure she's on BC. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously people? Most of my friends - all good kids, great grades, athletic, nice were having sex at 16 if they had a serious boyfriend. I'd be happy that he is in a relationship versus hooking up all the time like a lot of kids that age. And they're being responsible!

My parents many years ago were discussing my brother (17 at the time) and that he was sexually active. i was upstairs and was 14 years old listening to them talk.

My mother in most respects was straight out of the 1950's and said incredulously " Well I just don't believe that my son would do something like this"

My father shot back in his very dry way " Well not only believe it but he is probably having more sex than I am"

My mother, always one to bury her head to a problem "Well if I hear any more about this from you I can assure you that will be true".

The conversation ended with no more discussion.

Hahaha. Hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you sit down with both DS and the girlfriend. HAVE THE TALK. Ask them both about what protection they use. Ask them if they've talked about diseases, pregnancy, etc. Bring legit info with you about the risks of sex and what options they have. They might be uncomfortable but they should be able to talk about sex if they are old enough to do it.

That's just do off base and gross. Talk to your boyfriends parents about sex? Talk to your own parents about sex?
What planet are being beaming down from here exactly?

You know what's gross? HAVING A BABY AT 16.

Also, the following are REALLY GROSS:
Herpes (never goes away, can migrate to your brain)
Syphillis (can kill you)
Chlamydia (can leave you sterile)
Gonorrhea (is just nasty)
HPV (never goes away, can cause cancer)
HIV (never goes away AND can turn to AIDS which can kill you)
BV (also is just nasty)
Yeast Infections (nasty and terribly uncomfortable)
PID (long-term complications)

OH, and you know what's' REALLY REALLY GROSS?
ABORTIONS.

So talk to your fucking kids about sex, morons.

Okay, old fart here.

What the heck is BV?