Please give me advice - even if that means you tell me I am wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

1. If you think a meaningful percentage of Trump supporters are the moral equivalent of nazis, it's evidence you need to do a better job of understanding where other people are coming from;

2. I do in fact think we should endeavor to understand where jihadist sympathizes are coming from. In fact, my single largest problem with Trump is that his horseshit Anti-Muslim comments are excellent propaganda to create more jihadist sympathizers. Trump's biggest evil is that he promotes hatred over understanding. Doing exactly the same thing towards Trumo supporters means you are stopping to Trump's level, not being superior to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

1. If you think a meaningful percentage of Trump supporters are the moral equivalent of nazis, it's evidence you need to do a better job of understanding where other people are coming from;

2. I do in fact think we should endeavor to understand where jihadist sympathizes are coming from. In fact, my single largest problem with Trump is that his horseshit Anti-Muslim comments are excellent propaganda to create more jihadist sympathizers. Trump's biggest evil is that he promotes hatred over understanding. Doing exactly the same thing towards Trumo supporters means you are stopping to Trump's level, not being superior to him.

1. I'm not sure what your definition of meaningful is .Plenty of articles have been written and polls have confirmed that Trump's casual racism and muscular nativism are the two major factors that handed him the nomination . 20% of his supporters for instance don't agree with the emancipation proclamation act.Go figure. I know exactly where his supporters are coming from . They come from these places called paranoia, bigotry,xenophobia and racial angst . Seems to me like you're the one whose head is buried so deep in the sand , you may never see the light of the day . The idea that people who support Trump do not pose an existential threat to this country amounts to naïveté of apocalyptic proportions. Evil acts and ideologues have been able to advance because of myopic individuals like yourself who refuse to see shit for what it is and draw the appropriate conclusions . Perhaps you're an undercover supporter. Unlike you, some of us have drawn the line and picked our side and it's not the spray tan, American version of a fascist we're on. This is a man who can't even gather a unanimous consensus amongst his fellow republicans , but here you are defending the indefensible or clamoring for understanding. There's a significant portion of white america that's deeply racist and he's their newfound hero.

2.Im a die hard liberal and when it comes to jihadistsabd domestic terrorists ( Dylan Roof and co.)again your naïveté is on full display . They're extremists who want the world to live like it's the dark ages. No amount of understanding where they're coming from will change that . Bigotry needs no excuse to perpetuate itself

[Anonymous]

You know OP, the easiest solution to your "problem" is just to keep your mouth shut. You do realize that your inability to stop nagging and complaining and criticizing about utterly trivial issues is the problem, not your husband?

Many women in this thread, and out of it, don't seem to be able to shut up. Ever. About anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am at my wit’s end with my husband of almost 10 years. I honestly don’t know what I can say or do but we have to make a change.

The last few weeks have been especially challenging. We just got into a major fight on the way to work. I started a new position last month and we are now driving into the city together. I cannot stand the way he acts sometimes – just nasty comments about people who cross the intersection late, cars that don’t pull far enough up, he is just generally an angry driver. It puts me on edge and I react badly.

It’s not just in the car that we fight – he is just SO negative. We have always been sarcastic but it seems like he is really at a whole new level. When I try to talk to him about it he deflects and accuses me of the same thing. He definitely gives off the victim, poor me, my wife is so hard on me vibe.

And don’t even get me started on the latest convo in our house – despite being a republican all my life, I think trump is batshit crazy but my husband is a supporter. We mistakenly talked about the Orlando shooting in relation to the presidential run and that tuned ugly. I truly can’t understand why he thinks semi-automatic weapons are acceptable for people to buy!!! And he attempted to agree with Trump that Obama “probably had intelligence on it but did nothing” WHAT THE F***???????????

Here is the thing though – I don’t want a divorce – he is a good man and decent father with good intentions and strong ethics – he would never cheat, steal, lie, etc. But I just cannot stand to be around him right now. Any attempt at having a conversation turns into a full on fight. I am SO sick of it.

I really need practical advice on what to do – please help me.

He disagrees with you so he must be in the wrong. It's not possible to state a difference of opinion with you and have it simply be two different viewpoints. The battle must be joined.

You are so very typical of so many disturbed unhappy women, who seek to blame everyone for their unhappiness but themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

1. If you think a meaningful percentage of Trump supporters are the moral equivalent of nazis, it's evidence you need to do a better job of understanding where other people are coming from;

2. I do in fact think we should endeavor to understand where jihadist sympathizes are coming from. In fact, my single largest problem with Trump is that his horseshit Anti-Muslim comments are excellent propaganda to create more jihadist sympathizers. Trump's biggest evil is that he promotes hatred over understanding. Doing exactly the same thing towards Trumo supporters means you are stopping to Trump's level, not being superior to him.

1. I'm not sure what your definition of meaningful is .Plenty of articles have been written and polls have confirmed that Trump's casual racism and muscular nativism are the two major factors that handed him the nomination . 20% of his supporters for instance don't agree with the emancipation proclamation act.Go figure. I know exactly where his supporters are coming from . They come from these places called paranoia, bigotry,xenophobia and racial angst . Seems to me like you're the one whose head is buried so deep in the sand , you may never see the light of the day . The idea that people who support Trump do not pose an existential threat to this country amounts to naïveté of apocalyptic proportions. Evil acts and ideologues have been able to advance because of myopic individuals like yourself who refuse to see shit for what it is and draw the appropriate conclusions . Perhaps you're an undercover supporter. Unlike you, some of us have drawn the line and picked our side and it's not the spray tan, American version of a fascist we're on. This is a man who can't even gather a unanimous consensus amongst his fellow republicans , but here you are defending the indefensible or clamoring for understanding. There's a significant portion of white america that's deeply racist and he's their newfound hero.

2.Im a die hard liberal and when it comes to jihadistsabd domestic terrorists ( Dylan Roof and co.)again your naïveté is on full display . They're extremists who want the world to live like it's the dark ages. No amount of understanding where they're coming from will change that . Bigotry needs no excuse to perpetuate itself

You're not a die hard liberal because nothing you are actually saying is consistent with liberal or progressive values. You're someone motivated by the same sense of hate and lack of understanding as the percentage of trump supporters you are criticizing. You just happened to end up on the extreme left instead of the extreme right. The political spectrum is less of a line than a horseshoe and you are a lot more similar to the worst trump supporters than you care to realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm super dark and sarcastic but not a negative person. You don't have to be both.

+1
I have a healthy appreciation for sarcasm but I'm not just constantly mean spirited and thinking the word of everyone all of the time. That and the trump thing would drive me crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

1. If you think a meaningful percentage of Trump supporters are the moral equivalent of nazis, it's evidence you need to do a better job of understanding where other people are coming from;

2. I do in fact think we should endeavor to understand where jihadist sympathizes are coming from. In fact, my single largest problem with Trump is that his horseshit Anti-Muslim comments are excellent propaganda to create more jihadist sympathizers. Trump's biggest evil is that he promotes hatred over understanding. Doing exactly the same thing towards Trumo supporters means you are stopping to Trump's level, not being superior to him.

1. I'm not sure what your definition of meaningful is .Plenty of articles have been written and polls have confirmed that Trump's casual racism and muscular nativism are the two major factors that handed him the nomination . 20% of his supporters for instance don't agree with the emancipation proclamation act.Go figure. I know exactly where his supporters are coming from . They come from these places called paranoia, bigotry,xenophobia and racial angst . Seems to me like you're the one whose head is buried so deep in the sand , you may never see the light of the day . The idea that people who support Trump do not pose an existential threat to this country amounts to naïveté of apocalyptic proportions. Evil acts and ideologues have been able to advance because of myopic individuals like yourself who refuse to see shit for what it is and draw the appropriate conclusions . Perhaps you're an undercover supporter. Unlike you, some of us have drawn the line and picked our side and it's not the spray tan, American version of a fascist we're on. This is a man who can't even gather a unanimous consensus amongst his fellow republicans , but here you are defending the indefensible or clamoring for understanding. There's a significant portion of white america that's deeply racist and he's their newfound hero.

2.Im a die hard liberal and when it comes to jihadistsabd domestic terrorists ( Dylan Roof and co.)again your naïveté is on full display . They're extremists who want the world to live like it's the dark ages. No amount of understanding where they're coming from will change that . Bigotry needs no excuse to perpetuate itself

You're not a die hard liberal because nothing you are actually saying is consistent with liberal or progressive values. You're someone motivated by the same sense of hate and lack of understanding as the percentage of trump supporters you are criticizing. You just happened to end up on the extreme left instead of the extreme right. The political spectrum is less of a line than a horseshoe and you are a lot more similar to the worst trump supporters than you care to realize.

I was waiting for you to bring valid arguments . Alas , I have to settle for you wanna-be act of defining who's liberal and who isn't . If having zero tolerance for Trump supporters apologists like you makes me extreme left, then I shall gladly wear that badge with all the pride in the world

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

1. If you think a meaningful percentage of Trump supporters are the moral equivalent of nazis, it's evidence you need to do a better job of understanding where other people are coming from;

2. I do in fact think we should endeavor to understand where jihadist sympathizes are coming from. In fact, my single largest problem with Trump is that his horseshit Anti-Muslim comments are excellent propaganda to create more jihadist sympathizers. Trump's biggest evil is that he promotes hatred over understanding. Doing exactly the same thing towards Trumo supporters means you are stopping to Trump's level, not being superior to him.

1. I'm not sure what your definition of meaningful is .Plenty of articles have been written and polls have confirmed that Trump's casual racism and muscular nativism are the two major factors that handed him the nomination . 20% of his supporters for instance don't agree with the emancipation proclamation act.Go figure. I know exactly where his supporters are coming from . They come from these places called paranoia, bigotry,xenophobia and racial angst . Seems to me like you're the one whose head is buried so deep in the sand , you may never see the light of the day . The idea that people who support Trump do not pose an existential threat to this country amounts to naïveté of apocalyptic proportions. Evil acts and ideologues have been able to advance because of myopic individuals like yourself who refuse to see shit for what it is and draw the appropriate conclusions . Perhaps you're an undercover supporter. Unlike you, some of us have drawn the line and picked our side and it's not the spray tan, American version of a fascist we're on. This is a man who can't even gather a unanimous consensus amongst his fellow republicans , but here you are defending the indefensible or clamoring for understanding. There's a significant portion of white america that's deeply racist and he's their newfound hero.

2.Im a die hard liberal and when it comes to jihadistsabd domestic terrorists ( Dylan Roof and co.)again your naïveté is on full display . They're extremists who want the world to live like it's the dark ages. No amount of understanding where they're coming from will change that . Bigotry needs no excuse to perpetuate itself

You're not a die hard liberal because nothing you are actually saying is consistent with liberal or progressive values. You're someone motivated by the same sense of hate and lack of understanding as the percentage of trump supporters you are criticizing. You just happened to end up on the extreme left instead of the extreme right. The political spectrum is less of a line than a horseshoe and you are a lot more similar to the worst trump supporters than you care to realize.

I was waiting for you to bring valid arguments . Alas , I have to settle for you wanna-be act of defining who's liberal and who isn't . If having zero tolerance for Trump supporters apologists like you , if that makes me extreme left, then I shall gladly wear that badge with all the pride in the world

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a different take on all this if you're still reading. DH and I have been commuting in together for the past 2 years and it has changed our marriage for the better. We have young kids and demanding jobs that often require us to work from home at night. We had very little time to just hang out together, and we were growing apart and growing resentful. Now we have 30-45 minutes every morning with no interrupting kids to talk about anything and everything. It's really been great for us.

BUT, he's an angry driver and it also annoys the hell out of me. I basically treat him like I treat my 3 yo: positive attention for what I like and negative attention for what I don't. When he starts ranting or calling other drivers names, I just stop talking, look down, and read my phone. After a few minutes, I'll resume conversation as if nothing happened. Read this: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashion/25love.html?ex=1169438400&en=3edcee0d461222fa&ei=5087&excamp=mkt_shamu totally helped me.

On the politics thing, we have a similar dynamic. We are both democrats and liberals, so generally aligned like you and your DH, but my DH has a reactionary streak running through him and we have had vicious fights over abortion/Planned Parenthood and Donald Trump. In fact, we just had one about 15 minutes ago and I'm still fuming. There are plenty of times we can talk about politics rationally, but sometimes we just can't. I definitely can't give you advice on this one because I still don't have a great strategy. I have noticed that we fight, as opposed to discuss, when issues are fresh and more painful. So, we had a nasty fight right after the Hobby Lobby decision. And tonight's fight comes in the wake of Orlando. A cooling off period after big events to let emotions temper, before discussing in the first place, might help.

GL! I'm not divorcing my DH either. And hopefully he won't divorce me when I get so angry that I call him stupid and bigoted. We all have our weak moments.

[Anonymous]

Books on tape, or something from The Great Courses. It's something to do besides carp about pedestrians, and you can listen to it "together" without actually having to talk to each other. Worked for DH and me during the morning commute.

[Anonymous]

Has something changed in his life? Isabything else going on? My funny dry humored DH gets dark and over critical when something major is bothering him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do any of you women think it's difficult to be with a conservative husband since so many of their issues align against women's rights? How can you respect a man who thinks Trump should be president when he so clearly hates women? How is that okay in your husband's eyes?

+1 Was thinking the same thing

I honestly think even having to ask this is a reflection of how segregated our culture now is politically. I really, really hate Trump but it's hard to spend a meaningful amount of time with a Trump supporter without realizing that they are also human beings too with positives and negatives and not weird cartoon characters.

The same thing could be said about slave merchants , segregationists , white supremacists , nazis, fascists and jihadist sympathizes

LOL. You are unbalanced. Liberals have been trained for two generations of the academy on victimhood and protest as the pinnacle of intellectual achievement that you have completely lost all sense of values and perspective. Classical liberalism, skepticism of the state, these are all valid western ideologies. But you twits just want to have an intellectually bankrupt tantrum whenever someone disagrees with you. Immediate resort to the examples you cite is evidence enough. I'm sure you and your friends feel sufficiently superior though, so that's all that matters.

--smarter than you, and not a Trump supporter, but this is really getting absurd

[Aster302516]

I agree about getting in touch with a therapist. Have you considered it? They may help you both understand each other better and sort out your issues. I just said a prayer and I hope things get better for you. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

In your marital vows add an amendment.

Leave politics out of any + all future conversations.

Problem solved!