Ivy League student not missing, chooses to go off the grid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There have been a few threads on here about private schools (and which are the best for your child to get into an Ivy school). I think this is a reminder that whatever kids do it needs to be a right fit and something they are passionate about.

http://nypost.com/2016/05/29/why-i-had-to-escape-my-ivy-league-life-and-disappear/

off the grid?

lol

That dingle brain doesn't know what off the grid means.

What a moron.

[Anonymous]

If she had lived on well and septic in a tiny shack surrounded by nothing and pumped out her own shit, then I'd have given her credit for "off the grid."

[Anonymous]

What an asshole.

[Anonymous]

OP, maybe I'm not interpreting the article the same way, but I didn't get the sense that Nayla's mother was pressuring her to pursue her dreams.
To me it seemed like her mother worked her ass of as a single mother to give Nayla the opportunities that Nayla wanted.

When Nayla was no longer the "star student" classing case of the big fish becoming the small fish in a big pond, she couldn't handle it.

She just seems very spoiled.

I agree with you that too many parents , especially in this area, force their kids to living their dreams and goals, and that is sad.

But Nayla is not the poster child for this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: so I see they moved the post. Whatever. I thought it was completely relevant for where I posted it because so many private school parents (not to say it doesn't happen in public schools) get so caught up with encouraging our kids to go to an Ivy League school or otherwise prestigious school all because it's what we think will make them happy, put them on the right path, be the great conversation piece, blah, blah, blah. While I DO NOT think what this girl do was appropriate or the right way to handle the situation (and I would be pissed if she was my child) I think it should serve as a reminder that there is something to be said about allowing your kids to pursue their passions and not yours AND when searching for a school/college the focus should be on the right fit for your kid and not the name of the school.

It sounds like she would have benefited from a different type of college, and because her experience was so bad she now doesn't like school. She is 19 years old and obviously lived somewhat of a privileged life that has allowed her to make such selfish decisions

For the poster who thinks that I am of some SES that I can sympathize you are sorely mistaken. You made a lot of assumptions clearly driven by your own SES.

Then it is odd how you empathized with the 19 year old who only wanted to follow her passions. Did you follow your passions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: so I see they moved the post. Whatever. I thought it was completely relevant for where I posted it because so many private school parents (not to say it doesn't happen in public schools) get so caught up with encouraging our kids to go to an Ivy League school or otherwise prestigious school all because it's what we think will make them happy, put them on the right path, be the great conversation piece, blah, blah, blah. While I DO NOT think what this girl do was appropriate or the right way to handle the situation (and I would be pissed if she was my child) I think it should serve as a reminder that there is something to be said about allowing your kids to pursue their passions and not yours AND when searching for a school/college the focus should be on the right fit for your kid and not the name of the school.

It sounds like she would have benefited from a different type of college, and because her experience was so bad she now doesn't like school. She is 19 years old and obviously lived somewhat of a privileged life that has allowed her to make such selfish decisions

For the poster who thinks that I am of some SES that I can sympathize you are sorely mistaken. You made a lot of assumptions clearly driven by your own SES.

We must have read different articles. I didn't read anywhere that this girl was pressured by anyone to do anything. It was all at her own instigation/motivation. Her mother supported her DD's decisions, her DD didn't conform to her mother's expectations. Even when her mother found her again, her mother was supportive. It was her own mental illness that finally caught up with her.

...when I was going to start high school, I insisted on moving to California to attend boarding school.....My mom didn’t want me to move so far away but supported my ­decision.

I didn't say her mother pressured her. I said a similar occurrence can happen when kids are pressured. Like seriously stretch your thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe I'm not interpreting the article the same way, but I didn't get the sense that Nayla's mother was pressuring her to pursue her dreams.
To me it seemed like her mother worked her ass of as a single mother to give Nayla the opportunities that Nayla wanted.

When Nayla was no longer the "star student" classing case of the big fish becoming the small fish in a big pond, she couldn't handle it.

She just seems very spoiled.

I agree with you that too many parents , especially in this area, force their kids to living their dreams and goals, and that is sad.

But Nayla is not the poster child for this.

I don't disagree with your assessment. I was taking away from it a very small comparison to the pressure many kids (whether self imposed or imposed from family) to walk a certain path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: so I see they moved the post. Whatever. I thought it was completely relevant for where I posted it because so many private school parents (not to say it doesn't happen in public schools) get so caught up with encouraging our kids to go to an Ivy League school or otherwise prestigious school all because it's what we think will make them happy, put them on the right path, be the great conversation piece, blah, blah, blah. While I DO NOT think what this girl do was appropriate or the right way to handle the situation (and I would be pissed if she was my child) I think it should serve as a reminder that there is something to be said about allowing your kids to pursue their passions and not yours AND when searching for a school/college the focus should be on the right fit for your kid and not the name of the school.

It sounds like she would have benefited from a different type of college, and because her experience was so bad she now doesn't like school. She is 19 years old and obviously lived somewhat of a privileged life that has allowed her to make such selfish decisions

For the poster who thinks that I am of some SES that I can sympathize you are sorely mistaken. You made a lot of assumptions clearly driven by your own SES.

Then it is odd how you empathized with the 19 year old who only wanted to follow her passions. Did you follow your passions?

I did. However, I have very vivid memories of college classmates who were not and suffering emotionally and mentally because of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: so I see they moved the post. Whatever. I thought it was completely relevant for where I posted it because so many private school parents (not to say it doesn't happen in public schools) get so caught up with encouraging our kids to go to an Ivy League school or otherwise prestigious school all because it's what we think will make them happy, put them on the right path, be the great conversation piece, blah, blah, blah. While I DO NOT think what this girl do was appropriate or the right way to handle the situation (and I would be pissed if she was my child) I think it should serve as a reminder that there is something to be said about allowing your kids to pursue their passions and not yours AND when searching for a school/college the focus should be on the right fit for your kid and not the name of the school.

It sounds like she would have benefited from a different type of college, and because her experience was so bad she now doesn't like school. She is 19 years old and obviously lived somewhat of a privileged life that has allowed her to make such selfish decisions

For the poster who thinks that I am of some SES that I can sympathize you are sorely mistaken. You made a lot of assumptions clearly driven by your own SES.

We must have read different articles. I didn't read anywhere that this girl was pressured by anyone to do anything. It was all at her own instigation/motivation. Her mother supported her DD's decisions, her DD didn't conform to her mother's expectations. Even when her mother found her again, her mother was supportive. It was her own mental illness that finally caught up with her.

...when I was going to start high school, I insisted on moving to California to attend boarding school.....My mom didn’t want me to move so far away but supported my ­decision.

I didn't say her mother pressured her. I said a similar occurrence can happen when kids are pressured. Like seriously stretch your thinking.

Uh, no. You specifically were talking about parents pressuring their kids, especially private school parents. You want to talk generalities? Stop using specifics.

If this experience has caused her not to like school at all, she really hasn't learned a lesson from it. The lesson isn't that college/school is bad, it's that Columbia wasn't a good fit for her. Had she any critical thinking skills (and perhaps not suffering from mental illness), she could identify what environment she best learns in and then find a college better suited to her.

[Anonymous]

think college mental illness is a real problem no matter the class status. This girl does sound kind of entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: so I see they moved the post. Whatever. I thought it was completely relevant for where I posted it because so many private school parents (not to say it doesn't happen in public schools) get so caught up with encouraging our kids to go to an Ivy League school or otherwise prestigious school all because it's what we think will make them happy, put them on the right path, be the great conversation piece, blah, blah, blah. While I DO NOT think what this girl do was appropriate or the right way to handle the situation (and I would be pissed if she was my child) I think it should serve as a reminder that there is something to be said about allowing your kids to pursue their passions and not yours AND when searching for a school/college the focus should be on the right fit for your kid and not the name of the school.

It sounds like she would have benefited from a different type of college, and because her experience was so bad she now doesn't like school. She is 19 years old and obviously lived somewhat of a privileged life that has allowed her to make such selfish decisions

For the poster who thinks that I am of some SES that I can sympathize you are sorely mistaken. You made a lot of assumptions clearly driven by your own SES.

We must have read different articles. I didn't read anywhere that this girl was pressured by anyone to do anything. It was all at her own instigation/motivation. Her mother supported her DD's decisions, her DD didn't conform to her mother's expectations. Even when her mother found her again, her mother was supportive. It was her own mental illness that finally caught up with her.

...when I was going to start high school, I insisted on moving to California to attend boarding school.....My mom didn’t want me to move so far away but supported my ­decision.

I didn't say her mother pressured her. I said a similar occurrence can happen when kids are pressured. Like seriously stretch your thinking.

Uh, no. You specifically were talking about parents pressuring their kids, especially private school parents. You want to talk generalities? Stop using specifics.

If this experience has caused her not to like school at all, she really hasn't learned a lesson from it. The lesson isn't that college/school is bad, it's that Columbia wasn't a good fit for her. Had she any critical thinking skills (and perhaps not suffering from mental illness), she could identify what environment she best learns in and then find a college better suited to her.

Please go re-read what you said. Exactly. I never said HER mother pressured her. I was speaking of other parents possibly pressuring their kids!

[Anonymous]

Please go re-read what you said. Exactly. I never said HER mother pressured her. I was speaking of other parents possibly pressuring their kids!

Then how is her story in any way relevant to your point? All it is is one more kid with mental health issues not being able to cope with the pressures of life - real or perceived. Some kids use drugs, some engage in other negative behaviors or run away like she did. Her issue was not being able to cope with school. Other kids have violence, substance abuse, sexual abuse or poverty to deal with. They all feel pressure. She just has more means than others and she doesn't fit the profile of what most people think of a kid with issues. That's the real story here - look what happens when you've been given every opportunity and you can't handle it. Sounds like what happened to Ted Kazinski.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is incredibly selfish. All she thinks about is me, me me. She didn't contact her mother for Mother's Day leading her mother to think something awful happened to her. She could have sent a one line message about needing space. She wasted time and resources the police could have been searching for someone else. "Woe is me"...no one is friendly at Columbia, I am not getting A's, I don't like my classes. I like my 50,000 dollar a year boarding school better. Boo boo, cry me a river. There are plenty of ways to drop out of college that don't involve worrying your friends and family. Now she plans on modeling. Let's see how that works out.

+1.

Just an attention whore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, maybe I'm not interpreting the article the same way, but I didn't get the sense that Nayla's mother was pressuring her to pursue her dreams.
To me it seemed like her mother worked her ass of as a single mother to give Nayla the opportunities that Nayla wanted.

When Nayla was no longer the "star student" classing case of the big fish becoming the small fish in a big pond, she couldn't handle it.

She just seems very spoiled.

I agree with you that too many parents , especially in this area, force their kids to living their dreams and goals, and that is sad.

But Nayla is not the poster child for this.

+ a million. Hard working single mom, spoiled daughter. What a waste.

[Anonymous]

She clearly has some mental issues, but I am not surprised to see the vitriol directed at this girl.

No one on their right mind just takes off and doesn't tell anybody to start a new life. She was in DEEP denial, she has friends and family. Did she really think no one was going to look for her?

I hope she gets the help she needs. And yes, the school was a mismatch. It wasn't necessarily related to her ability. She was a good student at a boarding school, not a "diversity" admit from a shitty high school in the inner city. She needed to be somewhere with small, intimate classes, not somewhere where she was in a lecture hall with 500+ other people. A lot of people find this out too late.