Violent SN kid in the classroom
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Anonymous
| Suspending a child with special needs at this age is considered to be an ignorant move and flies in the face of IDEA. The Department of Ed strongly frowns on this measure as do most states and education experts because of all the research that shows it does not help and can make things worse. I would be suspect of anyone that would consider doing this. |
Anonymous
Shame on OP and shame on you. It is not your part to "contribute to this process" by pushing a "movement" (as OP called it) to get this child moved based on gossip. There is a reason the law exists and it's to make sure the people involved in making this decision have access to information about the child's background, medical history, having talked first hand to all the teachers and other relevant information. You have a right to talk to the school about your child and you have the right to complain about this other child but it is ethically questionable to say the least to try to influence a decision that may change the course of a child's future without having any of the facts. |
Anonymous
Everyone who became a violent teenager or adult was once a six year old. If OPs post is accurate, and it takes two aides (not one) to somewhat control this child, and classmates are still regularly coming home with bruises from this child's violent outbursts, in spite of two adults dedicated to controlling him, then we are talking about a very dangerous and out of control young child. Imagine this child at 8, 10, 13... Dismissing this behavior as "anxiety" is unfair and wrong, not just to the violent child and classmates/victims, but also to kids who have special needs and sometimes act out due to anxiety. Assuming OP is being candid and honest, this boy needs to be moved into some other class environment. His "rights" should not trump every other child's basic right to be safe at school. |
Anonymous
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It may likely be anxiety, which has symptoms that are often mis-diagnosed
http://childmind.org/article/how-anxiety-leads-to-disruptive-behavior/ |
Anonymous
The teacher from the first page summed up quite nicely what OP should do. It doesn't matter what, if any, diagnosis the child has, all OP and others can do is talk about the issue as it regards their own child. Document, document, document - but it has to be about your own child or it will be dismissed as gossip.
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Anonymous
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OP, anxiety can be a very serious and debilitating condition. It sounds like you're familiar with children who internalize it but there are plenty who externalize. These passages from PP's link above provide a good explanation of what this family
may be dealing with. "Anxiety manifests in a surprising variety of ways in part because it is based on a physiological response to a threat in the environment, a response that maximizes the body’s ability to either face danger or escape danger. So while some children exhibit anxiety by shrinking from situations or objects that trigger fears, some react with overwhelming need to break out of an uncomfortable situation. That behavior, which can be unmanageable, is often misread as anger or opposition." "A 10-year-old boy named James has an outburst in school. Upset by something a classmate says to him, he pushes the other boy, and a shoving-match ensues. When the teacher steps in to break it up, James goes ballistic, throwing papers and books around the classroom and bolting out of the room and down the hall. He is finally contained in the vice principal’s office, where staff members try to calm him down. Instead, he kicks the vice principal in a frenzied effort to escape. The staff calls 911, and James ends up in the Emergency Room. To the uninitiated, James looks like a boy with serious anger issues. It’s not the first time he’s flown out of control. The school insists that his parents pick him up and take him home for lunch every day because he’s been banned from the cafeteria. But what’s really going on? “It turns out, after an evaluation, that he is off the charts for social anxiety,” reports Dr. Jerry Bubrick, director of the Anxiety & Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. “He can’t tolerate any—even constructive—criticism. He just will shut down altogether. James is terrified of being embarrassed, so when a boy says something that makes him uncomfortable, he has no skills to deal with it, and he freaks out. Flight or fight.” |
Anonymous
| 21:34, you're off base. If the parents refuse an evaluation, the child doesn;t have to be treated as if he has a suspected disability. And if what OP says is accurate, the mother is refusing interventions. |
Anonymous
So what, you are going to stand outside this child's IEP meetings with pitchforks or something?? |
Anonymous
No, OP says the mother now thinks he has anxiety. Plus there is a lot schools can and should do that does not require a full on IEP. |
Anonymous
I have seen Fcps do this when the parents don't want to agree to a more restrictive placement or the parents and school agree that the current placement isn't working but disagree on where the child should go next. They can suspend a child with an IEP for 10 days total before having to justify it. Then they can have the child sit in a room all day for "in school" suspension. It has nothing to do with changing the child's behavior-it is to fuck with the parents until they agree with what the school wants to do. An ugly situation for everyone. |
Anonymous
http://www.dailyprogress.com/starexponent/news/virginia-has-a-school-suspension-crisis-report-says/article_45713ee8-1e17-11e6-ab32-5b9f83d1cd13.html http://wtop.com/virginia/2015/05/fewer-students-expelled-fairfax-county-ends-zero-tolerance-policy/ |
Anonymous
The bolded is exactly what I suggested to OP: but there are ways to do this efficiently. In MCPS there is a form you fill out for bullying that is more difficult to ignore than emailing the teacher, for example. Every complaint has to be in writing but requesting a meeting with the principal and staying on point and polite, yet persistent, is the most efficient method to stay on the radar. OP can ask politely what other parents think about the situation, and can share what she has done (ie, the above) - which will mean the other parents will be encouraged to do the same. NOTHING in this violates any code of ethics. Nothing about this is shameful. It is you who have reading comprehension issues and have stupidly decided that it is somehow unfair. What is unfair is dealing with the situation ineffectively, because the aggressive child will not receive any help and will continue to suffer, and the other children who need protection will continue to suffer as well. Once again, I have been there, done that with my own children. I work in a school setting, and I see how the school tries to deal with aggressive children. There are ways for the school to accumulate enough proof to help a child, and parents can help. No one is being disrespectful towards any child in this situation. |
Anonymous
We are at a small private school as well and have had to deal with this as well. In one class the SN child inflicted physical harm on a daily basis. After he left red marks around two different girls necks from trying to strangle them the other parents revolted and the child was removed from the school. The principal then went on to admit another SN child that has extreme violent outbursts and throws desk when angry. The other kids in the class are in fear and are simply told to pray for him. The situation is not good for any of the students, including the SN child. |
Anonymous
| There is someone on this board who is making all kinds of horrible assumptions about the case being discussed and the child in question. I suspect it is not a person with a SN child. |
Anonymous
+1. And I've seen that in my own school. I understand why OP's comments are not popular in this corner of cyberspace, but that doesn't make them any less valid. |