Do you let your teen/preteen keep their phone in their bedroom at night?
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
My 14 year old doesn't have a phone. She knows that she can have a phone when she can 1. Purchase the device and 2. Pay the monthly bill and 3. Agree to my usage terms (ie, pretty damn strict!). Until that time she can use the land line. Basically in our house it is an adult item, requires adult supervision, and a privilege to have. It is not something that i will ever just provide for her. Same goes for a car, actually. Yes, she will have some limited access to the family car, but she is going to have to save her money if she wants one of her own. |
Anonymous
Sexting is a deeply unhealthy behavior for teenagers for many reasons, and in my opinion, representative of a larger character flaw that is rather my kid not develop. I realize the pressure on kids to participate in at least "light" sexting is enormous, which is precisely why we need to be diligent. We should all be working to help our kids grow up during these formative years in the most respectable way possible. |
Anonymous
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My 12 year old used to have her phone in her room, but she was impossible to wake up and just mean in the mornings.
The rule is is she forgets to plug it in, she loses it the next day. She was constantly forgetting to plug it in, that little rule helped her remember so much better. Now if she forgets because she left it in her jacket pocket downstairs I let that slide. I think it is easier to plug in the bedroom, because all our bedrooms are on one floor, if it's not plugged in, its a quick walk across the hallway |
Anonymous
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15 - yes.
He's up when he needs to be, early enough to make breakfast and pack his lunch. His grades are good. Him we can trust. His brother we couldn't. |
Anonymous
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Hi OP. Been there. My son's father got him a phone with a data plan when he was too young, IMO. I heard the exact same arguments. He was up way too late and not doing a great job of self regulating.
So, I got him an alarm clock. I told him we were changing the rules, at least for a while, and cited the above reasons. My kid is the kind of kid who needs a why behind the what, and he was old enough to hear something besides "because I said so." I've also explained ad nauseum about how a brain needs to unplug for a while before sleeping. The phone now charges in the living room at night. Good luck. |
Anonymous
Same here. We have strict rules about phone usage (no electronics in the bedroom) until high school. At that point the rules start to relax and they have to learn how to regulate themselves. |
Anonymous
| No phones yet (12 and 9). But we don't keep the phones in our own bedroom, so kids won't either. |
Anonymous
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Mom of DDs, 11 and 14...
For me it's not difficult to put two and two together. For many teens these days, using apps like Snapchat and KIK, it is "culturally acceptable" or ... worse ... there is peer pressure ... to send naked photos (or videos) to lure crushes or even to friends in that competitive girl vs. girl way. Throw in the privacy of closed doors and the time of day when many teens (including yours) enjoy "me time" with elevated hormones and you just have a recipe that gets way too close to disaster for my tastes. No electronics in the bedroom. Ever. Especially after 10 PM! |
Anonymous
Pediatrician here - all devices should be out of the bedroom at night - only way for any teen to get a good nights sleep. What possible reason would he/she need a device in the room at night anyway? Alarm clocks still do exist 
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Anonymous
There is no valid reason he needs it in his room. If he is sleeping, he doesn't need a phone. If he needs an alarm. He can have an alarm clock. |
Anonymous
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No. This was part of the contract we made DC sign when we got the phone.
You asked how to turn it around. I think I would just be honest and say, look, we made a mistake. We should not have let you have your phone in your room at night. We're going to change that now. We're also going to make a contract together to establish ground rules for how you will and will not use your phone. And then you sit down and you make the contract together, you put the phone in your room at night, and you stick to it. |
Anonymous
| 16 year old, yes. My 11 year old doesn't have a phone yet but when he gets one he will not be allowed to keep it in his room overnight. |
Anonymous
Do devices emit some sort of ray/radiation that affects the teenage brain that interrupts sleep when the phone is in the room? Now, if the teen is using the device, I can understand why that would interfere but that's different than saying devices themselves interfere with sleep. Being a pediatrician, I would have expected you to know the difference. 
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Anonymous
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