Is this an unreasonable ask for a SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

You would hate me. I stay at home and have a regular housekeeper and a part time nanny who comes 20 hours/week. I like outsourcing and I treat these people well. Our coffers are fine.

Lol. "I like outsourcing." Actually, you like being lazy and having your husband pay for it. Whatever works.

[Anonymous]

Are you saving money jointly, or does he get it all because he is the sole earner right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

I don't really care about your take on outsourcing, not to be rude, but DH does almost nothing wrt childcare and housework, and SAHM doesn't mean 24/7 on call. I know I need a few hours per week to go to the gym and have a little adult time, and I know I want to spend the weekends doing stuff with our kid and not cleaning the bathroom and mopping floors.

Not OP or PP, but I totally agree with OP. SAHM are not slaves. They take care of the kids and household during working hours, and then after work hours, everything should be split 50/50. That's not a reality in many marriages, and so outsourcing often helps maintain everyone's sanity.

How long does it take to clean a bathroom and mop floors during the week? Sheesh!

Well, considering it takes my cleaners of 4 women, 2 hours to clean my house, I'd guess that it would take me 10 hours at least. Do you have a free 10 hours in your week?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

I don't really care about your take on outsourcing, not to be rude, but DH does almost nothing wrt childcare and housework, and SAHM doesn't mean 24/7 on call. I know I need a few hours per week to go to the gym and have a little adult time, and I know I want to spend the weekends doing stuff with our kid and not cleaning the bathroom and mopping floors.

Not OP or PP, but I totally agree with OP. SAHM are not slaves. They take care of the kids and household during working hours, and then after work hours, everything should be split 50/50. That's not a reality in many marriages, and so outsourcing often helps maintain everyone's sanity.

How long does it take to clean a bathroom and mop floors during the week? Sheesh!

Well, considering it takes my cleaners of 4 women, 2 hours to clean my house, I'd guess that it would take me 10 hours at least. Do you have a free 10 hours in your week?

4x2=8. Eight hours per week.

Two hour nap x 5 days = 10 hours per week. Spend eight of them cleaning and two of them brushing up on your math skills!

[Anonymous]

I take $200 every two weeks out of our account for tchotchke money. We have no kids, I don't work for a paycheck so it's just for me. I can spend or save it, depend on what I want. I mostly just save it because I use our money for everything else.

My husband thinks I need to have pocketbook money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

I don't really care about your take on outsourcing, not to be rude, but DH does almost nothing wrt childcare and housework, and SAHM doesn't mean 24/7 on call. I know I need a few hours per week to go to the gym and have a little adult time, and I know I want to spend the weekends doing stuff with our kid and not cleaning the bathroom and mopping floors.

Not OP or PP, but I totally agree with OP. SAHM are not slaves. They take care of the kids and household during working hours, and then after work hours, everything should be split 50/50. That's not a reality in many marriages, and so outsourcing often helps maintain everyone's sanity.

How long does it take to clean a bathroom and mop floors during the week? Sheesh!

I have 6 bathrooms and over 6000 sq ft to clean, so a long time.

Your house is WAY too big.

[Anonymous]

I am a samh. His money is my money is our money. DH contributes to my retirement account, too.

I got a house cleaner because DH was tired of being told he couldn't get laid at night/in the morning because I had to clean the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

I don't really care about your take on outsourcing, not to be rude, but DH does almost nothing wrt childcare and housework, and SAHM doesn't mean 24/7 on call. I know I need a few hours per week to go to the gym and have a little adult time, and I know I want to spend the weekends doing stuff with our kid and not cleaning the bathroom and mopping floors.

Not OP or PP, but I totally agree with OP. SAHM are not slaves. They take care of the kids and household during working hours, and then after work hours, everything should be split 50/50. That's not a reality in many marriages, and so outsourcing often helps maintain everyone's sanity.

How long does it take to clean a bathroom and mop floors during the week? Sheesh!

Well, considering it takes my cleaners of 4 women, 2 hours to clean my house, I'd guess that it would take me 10 hours at least. Do you have a free 10 hours in your week?

I spend probably 2-3 hours picking up and putting away the cr@p and sorting the papers the night before the cleaners come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got a house cleaner because DH was tired of being told he couldn't get laid at night/in the morning because I had to clean the house.

So what excuse do you use now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a house cleaner because DH was tired of being told he couldn't get laid at night/in the morning because I had to clean the house.

So what excuse do you use now?

She doesn't need to. She outsources housekeeping, and he outsources sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

I don't really care about your take on outsourcing, not to be rude, but DH does almost nothing wrt childcare and housework, and SAHM doesn't mean 24/7 on call. I know I need a few hours per week to go to the gym and have a little adult time, and I know I want to spend the weekends doing stuff with our kid and not cleaning the bathroom and mopping floors.

Not OP or PP, but I totally agree with OP. SAHM are not slaves. They take care of the kids and household during working hours, and then after work hours, everything should be split 50/50. That's not a reality in many marriages, and so outsourcing often helps maintain everyone's sanity.

How long does it take to clean a bathroom and mop floors during the week? Sheesh!

I have 6 bathrooms and over 6000 sq ft to clean, so a long time.

I'm the PP who wrote SAHMs are not slaves. I only have 1,300 square feet and I still prioritize spending time with my kids over mopping floors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got a house cleaner because DH was tired of being told he couldn't get laid at night/in the morning because I had to clean the house.

So what excuse do you use now?

She doesn't need to. She outsources housekeeping, and he outsources sex.

Can you doofuses stay on topic for op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I take $200 every two weeks out of our account for tchotchke money. We have no kids, I don't work for a paycheck so it's just for me. I can spend or save it, depend on what I want. I mostly just save it because I use our money for everything else.

My husband thinks I need to have pocketbook money.

I don't think you know what tchotchke means. Or your house is REALLY cluttered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ITA with these PPs - when I stayed at home, i did the cooking, cleaning, childcare, and spent funds from the joint account. WTF OP? Now that I am working outside the home, I purposely took a job with much less responsibility and hours than DH so I can maintain the household w/out outsourcing. I would rather do the work myself and build our own coffers, rather than those of hired help.

I don't really care about your take on outsourcing, not to be rude, but DH does almost nothing wrt childcare and housework, and SAHM doesn't mean 24/7 on call. I know I need a few hours per week to go to the gym and have a little adult time, and I know I want to spend the weekends doing stuff with our kid and not cleaning the bathroom and mopping floors.

Not OP or PP, but I totally agree with OP. SAHM are not slaves. They take care of the kids and household during working hours, and then after work hours, everything should be split 50/50. That's not a reality in many marriages, and so outsourcing often helps maintain everyone's sanity.

How long does it take to clean a bathroom and mop floors during the week? Sheesh!

Well, considering it takes my cleaners of 4 women, 2 hours to clean my house, I'd guess that it would take me 10 hours at least. Do you have a free 10 hours in your week?

4x2=8. Eight hours per week.

Two hour nap x 5 days = 10 hours per week. Spend eight of them cleaning and two of them brushing up on your math skills!

Not that poster, but nap time is "me" time. Not "mop" time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sure do hope you're a troll. In fact I definitely think you're a troll. Did you never discuss this with your DH prior to your decision?

I'm a SAHM, have never had to ask for money. Ever. You're in a marriage together and the bank account should be joint.

I wish I was a troll. The reality is I got married and had a kid late in life. We've only been married 6 years, and I was pretty much set in my dis axial ways and so was he. We created some joint saving goals (kid college, house, retirement etc) and the rest was our own money to do as we liked. Since we were making the same it was no big deal.

Why would you need a house cleaner? You're home all day, clean it yourself!!