What is your "what the hell was I thinking" relationship story?

[Anonymous]

Dated fellow grad student who WAS MARRIED (although when it started he had separated and moved out of his house). I knew he was married, I knew how dumb it was......I was selfish and lonely. I've regretted it ever since. Surprisingly, he did end up divorcing. Not surprisingly, he cheated on me.

[Anonymous]

The Catholic seminarian.

[Anonymous]

Left a top university to go to a mediocre one in the same state as my high school boyfriend. Lasted 6 months after I moved. It ended because I met my now-husband, so I guess alls well that ends well, but I still want to kick 19 year old me.

[Anonymous]

Me: extremely liberal, feminist, athiest, pacificst, questioning of cops and authority (although generally a normal law-abiding citizen )
Him: not engaged in politics but generally more conservative, cop-in-training, unquestioning Christian, addicted to video games, probably depressed but unwilling to seek help

I'm with someone SO much more suited for me now. That was the worst year of my life. I really don't know why I thought I could work through all those differences.

[Anonymous]

After I split up with my college/post-college BF of 4+ years, with whom I had a dog and a shared house, I was back at the house to pick something up and came across some engagement ring research he had been doing including a note from his sister, "[my name] would probably like this one!" Had one of those "if only.. well, maybe....." moments until i found out a few days later that he had proposed to another girl (who shares my name). Within weeks of us breaking up. I assume they were together before we broke up, but who knows.

No doubt at all I dodged a bullet, but that still stung.

[Anonymous]

I got married to DW,we had three kids and she decided she is a lesbian. Act II ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got separated - had been planning to leave for a few years. Slightly crazy hot girl at work knows this, and pretty much pounces right off the bat...she left her husband like two weeks after I'd separated. We started a thing...she completely blinded me to her nuttiness with the best sex I'd ever had.

Took like 3 years of roller-coaster emotional abuse to snap out of the fog...after a while, no amount of amazing sex (any and every fantasy indulged) could make up for the emotional roller coaster. What finally snapped me out was remembering how much easier my not-good-enough-to-stay marriage was. What was I thinking indeed!

and you stayed?

[Anonymous]

Spent a year dating and majorly falling for a guy 26 years my senior when I first moved to DC after college. Yes, 26 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a freshman in college, I started dating a guy who was cheating with another girl. When I questioned him about it, rather indignantly, he hit me in the head with a metal lab stand (we were in the chemistry lab) and then forced me to have sex on the concrete floor. He told me I had it coming because I was being a bitch. I dated him for another 18 months. He hit me a few times after that, but that was the only time that he hit me with a weapon.

About a year after we broke up, he and another one of his fraternity brothers raped me over Thanksgiving break. I was passed out drunk after a party, (but in my own bed!) and they broke into my apartment.

I hope you reported these rapes and assault to the police. I also hope that you are getting a ton of therapy, because there is something messed up if you are willing to take abuse.

Let's avoid victim blaming and shaming, ok?

Who is blaming and shaming? It is called giving helpful advice to the victim. She needs therapy. I hope she got therapy after this incident, don't you?

New poster. This isn't advice. It's hateful.

[Anonymous]

I met him at the laundromat where he used to clean it every evening. (Red flag!!) That along w/receiving Food Stamps were his only income. He was basically homeless since he slept in the laundromat office at night unbeknownst to his boss.

He didn't have a ride so of course I was the one who did ALL of the driving!

He had a rap sheet, but told me his prison terms were all drug-related but that he had been clear for a few years since.

He was sad & depressed a lot of the time and my heart broke for him and all his problems. Eventually I started letting him sleep over at my house as well as shower there + eat my food. I truly thought I could save him....Give him that step-up that others would not.

Then I learned that I was just a sucker. He had actually been locked up for attempted murder and aggravated robbery. A friend of a friend worked at the criminal courthouse in our city & checked his record. And to think I felt sorry for him sleeping every night on a cold hard laundromat office floor!!!!

I had also given him plenty of ca$h for food because I really cared for him.

Eventually he became both mentally as well as physically abusive. He tried to choke me to death 2x on my bed.

He also was cheating on me & using drugs when not around me.

He wasn't even attractive at all even though he believed he was. He looked at least a decade over his true age, at thirty he was already 100% bald and had really bad wrinkles around his eyes plus his teeth were all jacked up due to meth use.
He broke stuff around my house, messed up my car and broke a new iPhone by throwing it out the car during a heated argument! He even literally tore my clothes off my body when he couldn't control his anger.
The police were involved a few times and learned our names pretty fast.

Why in the world did I endure all of this for so long.....??!
I had not had a boyfriend in ages and I felt better about myself having one.

Stupid logic I know.
But being desperate can cause one to do extreme things in life.

After he choked me on my bed twice, I finally let him go.
Not easy since he got more angry and thus would not leave after I told him too. So the police were summoned and he was gone!

Getting the oxygen sucked out of you really puts things in clear perspective.

[Anonymous]

At 30 dated a guy for almost 2 years who said after sex every.single.time "I'm sorry"

What was I thinking!?!

[Anonymous]

Freshman in college I thought he was either gay or just very shy / inexperienced but after he asked me out multiple times I agreed to a date. We went on a few dates and other than some kissing nothing happened. One night out of curiousity or boredom or something I (also unexperienced) took my shirt off while we were making out. He abruptly stopped and said "wow, it's late" and walked out. The next day he came over and, without saying anything, put a hand in my fully-clothed breast. I said "what are you doing??" and he said "we broke the ice last night." When I said the movement was over he left and we never spoke again. Hysterical in retrospect, but was quite the response for the first time I was in my bra with a guy.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. That should be "put a hand on"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met him at the laundromat where he used to clean it every evening. (Red flag!!) That along w/receiving Food Stamps were his only income. He was basically homeless since he slept in the laundromat office at night unbeknownst to his boss.

He didn't have a ride so of course I was the one who did ALL of the driving!

He had a rap sheet, but told me his prison terms were all drug-related but that he had been clear for a few years since.

He was sad & depressed a lot of the time and my heart broke for him and all his problems. Eventually I started letting him sleep over at my house as well as shower there + eat my food. I truly thought I could save him....Give him that step-up that others would not.

Then I learned that I was just a sucker. He had actually been locked up for attempted murder and aggravated robbery. A friend of a friend worked at the criminal courthouse in our city & checked his record. And to think I felt sorry for him sleeping every night on a cold hard laundromat office floor!!!!

I had also given him plenty of ca$h for food because I really cared for him.

Eventually he became both mentally as well as physically abusive. He tried to choke me to death 2x on my bed.

He also was cheating on me & using drugs when not around me.

He wasn't even attractive at all even though he believed he was. He looked at least a decade over his true age, at thirty he was already 100% bald and had really bad wrinkles around his eyes plus his teeth were all jacked up due to meth use.
He broke stuff around my house, messed up my car and broke a new iPhone by throwing it out the car during a heated argument! He even literally tore my clothes off my body when he couldn't control his anger.
The police were involved a few times and learned our names pretty fast.

Why in the world did I endure all of this for so long.....??!
I had not had a boyfriend in ages and I felt better about myself having one.

Stupid logic I know.
But being desperate can cause one to do extreme things in life.

After he choked me on my bed twice, I finally let him go.
Not easy since he got more angry and thus would not leave after I told him too. So the police were summoned and he was gone!

Getting the oxygen sucked out of you really puts things in clear perspective.

PP, did you have a difficult childhood? Abysuve parents? As the parent of a DD your story chills me a bit. So glad you got out!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me: extremely liberal, feminist, athiest, pacificst, questioning of cops and authority (although generally a normal law-abiding citizen )
Him: not engaged in politics but generally more conservative, cop-in-training, unquestioning Christian, addicted to video games, probably depressed but unwilling to seek help

I'm with someone SO much more suited for me now. That was the worst year of my life. I really don't know why I thought I could work through all those differences.

Actually, he sounds pretty darned good to me .