What is your "what the hell was I thinking" relationship story?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got separated - had been planning to leave for a few years. Slightly crazy hot girl at work knows this, and pretty much pounces right off the bat...she left her husband like two weeks after I'd separated. We started a thing...she completely blinded me to her nuttiness with the best sex I'd ever had.

Took like 3 years of roller-coaster emotional abuse to snap out of the fog...after a while, no amount of amazing sex (any and every fantasy indulged) could make up for the emotional roller coaster. What finally snapped me out was remembering how much easier my not-good-enough-to-stay marriage was. What was I thinking indeed!

It's always the crazy ones

[Anonymous]

When I was a freshman in college, I started dating a guy who was cheating with another girl. When I questioned him about it, rather indignantly, he hit me in the head with a metal lab stand (we were in the chemistry lab) and then forced me to have sex on the concrete floor. He told me I had it coming because I was being a bitch. I dated him for another 18 months. He hit me a few times after that, but that was the only time that he hit me with a weapon.

About a year after we broke up, he and another one of his fraternity brothers raped me over Thanksgiving break. I was passed out drunk after a party, (but in my own bed!) and they broke into my apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Got separated - had been planning to leave for a few years. Slightly crazy hot girl at work knows this, and pretty much pounces right off the bat...she left her husband like two weeks after I'd separated. We started a thing...she completely blinded me to her nuttiness with the best sex I'd ever had.

Took like 3 years of roller-coaster emotional abuse to snap out of the fog...after a while, no amount of amazing sex (any and every fantasy indulged) could make up for the emotional roller coaster. What finally snapped me out was remembering how much easier my not-good-enough-to-stay marriage was. What was I thinking indeed!

It's always the crazy ones

I'm now suspicious it was BPD, but whoa...obviously I wasn't thinking clearly. Anybody I know who is getting a divorce, I tell them: have all sorts of fun but do not get into any kind of serious relationship for a year. Very very poor judgement on my part...for which I paid pretty dearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a freshman in college, I started dating a guy who was cheating with another girl. When I questioned him about it, rather indignantly, he hit me in the head with a metal lab stand (we were in the chemistry lab) and then forced me to have sex on the concrete floor. He told me I had it coming because I was being a bitch. I dated him for another 18 months. He hit me a few times after that, but that was the only time that he hit me with a weapon.

About a year after we broke up, he and another one of his fraternity brothers raped me over Thanksgiving break. I was passed out drunk after a party, (but in my own bed!) and they broke into my apartment.

I hope you reported these rapes and assault to the police. I also hope that you are getting a ton of therapy, because there is something messed up if you are willing to take abuse.

[Anonymous]

As a freshman in college, I started dating a guy 14 years older than me who was pretty crazy and manipulative. Nothing really bad ever happened, but my friends were ready to kill me by the time I finally ended it. He broke into my e-mail account and sent out some nasty e-mails, and he was trying to follow me around, but was careful not to do anything illegal. Later, he disappeared and apparently changed his name, to avoid paying a grad school loan.

On the flipside, I feel like I learned a lot in college and avoided the typical frat party nonsense, so there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a freshman in college, I started dating a guy who was cheating with another girl. When I questioned him about it, rather indignantly, he hit me in the head with a metal lab stand (we were in the chemistry lab) and then forced me to have sex on the concrete floor. He told me I had it coming because I was being a bitch. I dated him for another 18 months. He hit me a few times after that, but that was the only time that he hit me with a weapon.

About a year after we broke up, he and another one of his fraternity brothers raped me over Thanksgiving break. I was passed out drunk after a party, (but in my own bed!) and they broke into my apartment.

I hope you reported these rapes and assault to the police. I also hope that you are getting a ton of therapy, because there is something messed up if you are willing to take abuse.

Let's avoid victim blaming and shaming, ok?

[Anonymous]

Have to share--over 40 years ago on our FIRST DATE my first husband (yes how could I marry this loser?) showed me his pornography collection!! I felt sorry for him and figured he would grow up. I was anxious to get married like everyone else so I ignored the multitude of waving red flags. I had a nice wedding but he never smiled once. I moved out 4 years later as the pornography addiction escalated. Happy remarried now over 30 years. Oh dear What Was I Thinking?

[Anonymous]

"dated" a guy in college who fully just used me as a backup. took another girl to formal, used me for classwork help - the whole nine. i was so in love with this guy (so i thought) that i just took it all. his parents actually moved to my hometown while we were in college and over the summer we hung out a lot - then he/they MOVED AWAY AND HE DIDNT EVEN TELL ME. needless to say he wasn't that into me.

my senior year in high school, i dated a guy who was a college sophomore. i went to visit him and he was fully interested in someone else - made me sit through a girls' soccer game (she was on the team) etc. i refused to get the message and actually EMAILED THE GIRL asking if she was with him. she wrote back and was basically like "yes, I'm John's gf, it's over with you guys." in retrospect i'm sure he was like, she's my stalker babyish ex, maybe she'll take it better from you.

so embarrassing. that said, i'm 38 now, been with my husband 14 years and have two lovely kids. like others i married the "nice guy" and thank the Lord for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a freshman in college, I started dating a guy who was cheating with another girl. When I questioned him about it, rather indignantly, he hit me in the head with a metal lab stand (we were in the chemistry lab) and then forced me to have sex on the concrete floor. He told me I had it coming because I was being a bitch. I dated him for another 18 months. He hit me a few times after that, but that was the only time that he hit me with a weapon.

About a year after we broke up, he and another one of his fraternity brothers raped me over Thanksgiving break. I was passed out drunk after a party, (but in my own bed!) and they broke into my apartment.

I hope you reported these rapes and assault to the police. I also hope that you are getting a ton of therapy, because there is something messed up if you are willing to take abuse.

Let's avoid victim blaming and shaming, ok?

Who is blaming and shaming? It is called giving helpful advice to the victim. She needs therapy. I hope she got therapy after this incident, don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: For me it was I dated a smoker. I am a former smoker and have not touched a cigarette since I was 23. a
I dated a guy and actually felt quite serious about him and he was a smoker. Man I'm so glad we did not get married. 15 years later he still smokes and I married a wonderful non-smoker and I have two lovely children.

You dodged a big one. My sister had to nurse her husband after a stroke caused by smoking. A domino effect of large bills, job loss, etc. My other friend who was in her late 40's died last year from lung cancer. I would never date a smoker due to poor health and the turn off.

[Anonymous]

I went to college in MI and dated the guy down the hall from me. Sometime after that I learned he was kicked out of UOM for starting a fire in lab. When I broke up with him he put a smoke bomb outside my hall door. He was a big regret.

[Anonymous]

Fell head over heels in love at 16 and got engaged at 17. We moved in together and lived together through college. He was an okay guy and there wasn't anything wrong with him, but I left him for a feeling that there was someone better out there for me (there was, my DH). I feel a lot of shame over getting engaged at 17 and I still have anxiety attacks that I'm doing things too soon (like getting married, having a baby, buying a house).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fell head over heels in love at 16 and got engaged at 17. We moved in together and lived together through college. He was an okay guy and there wasn't anything wrong with him, but I left him for a feeling that there was someone better out there for me (there was, my DH). I feel a lot of shame over getting engaged at 17 and I still have anxiety attacks that I'm doing things too soon (like getting married, having a baby, buying a house).

Similar story here, but I was in my early 20s. Married about 1.5 years. I don't ever think of him at all, and some of my friends now have no idea. I don't purposely leave it out of a conversation, it honestly does not come up.

[Anonymous]

When I was in college I dated a guy who would later go to prison for viewing child pornography and then meeting up with someone he met online, who he *thought* was a 14 or 15 year old, but it was actually an undercover sting. This was after we had broken up, but were still "best friends" and he was around 28 years old at the time.

It was one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life and still haunts me.

[Anonymous]

I dated a guy for months because my best friend didn't like him. I didn't like him,either. But I didn't like the way she was rude to him.