Weird or normal? Young child's aunts and uncles come to birthday, but don't give a gift...

Anonymous
That wouldn't be particularly weird in my family. Show up or don't. Bring a gift or don't. It's all cool. No one in my family had much disposable income when the kids were small and now the kids are older and no one needs anything. Truth be told they didn't need anything back then when everyone was broke, either.
Anonymous
If this was happening to me, I would ask my mom about it. She's a disinterested third party, who would either know what's going on first hand, or at least have an idea. It would bother me too, but like you, I'd feel silly about it. But I think I could ask my mom about it in an off handed way. Is there someone else in your family you can ask?
Anonymous
We don't really do gifts in my immediate family. You can if you want, but it's not expected at all. This would not be weird.
Anonymous
was it actually a birthday party, or just a get together that happened to be on his birthday?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:We don't really do gifts in my immediate family. You can if you want, but it's not expected at all. This would not be weird.


Pp here. And I should note I have three siblings and almost a dozen nieces and nephews.
Anonymous
I'm the aunt who doesn't give gifts. If I see a book or toy I know the kids would *love* I send it, regardless of date. I also don't do Christmas presents. That said, I have 8 nieces and nephews. I don't expect, nor would I want, my siblings to send me anything for holidays. At some point, with so many people, it becomes ridiculous to get things for everyone and receive things from everyone. It sounds like your family is pretty big as well, and perhaps they've realized there's just no point anymore in "stuff".

The absolute BEST thing that happens is when we all get together and someone opens their house so we can all be together and cook and drink and enjoy the chaos for a day or two. No gifts required. Party size tortilla chips and case of wine, required.
Anonymous
It was a birthday party for her preschooler. Whoever attends should have brought a gift, yes it's rude especially at that age it's a big thing they get excited about.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

Why not just flag this to everyone next time there's a party?
Email everyone ahead of time and say:

"So are we not doing presents for the kids anymore? Just noticed a trend at the last few birthdays... is it fine if I bring one for Claire? Saw something I know she'll love!"

I'm passive-aggressive like this.




You are gross and crass. ick.
Anonymous
OK, OP. I'm sorry you're hurt and confused. But maybe you've given this situation enough attention and perhaps move on? I get why it's bothersome to you, but it's also petty, so the longer you dwell on this the worse. Congrats on your boy growing a year older!
Anonymous
They showed up, that was the gift.
Seriously, get over it, not worth a 2nd thought.
Their presence was their present.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Well, OP,

Why not just flag this to everyone next time there's a party?
Email everyone ahead of time and say:

"So are we not doing presents for the kids anymore? Just noticed a trend at the last few birthdays... is it fine if I bring one for Claire? Saw something I know she'll love!"

I'm passive-aggressive like this.



Grow up
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:They showed up, that was the gift.
Seriously, get over it, not worth a 2nd thought.
Their presence was their present.


+1. We don't do presents in my family anymore. Birthdays are a nice excuse for us to get together and eat good food, but I don't think anyone has purchased a present in years.
Anonymous
Yes, it's weird. Even if there isnt disposable income, something small--a book or a token. I am surprised how few people responding seem to think so. We are pretty broke ourselves, but it is abolutely standard practice that when we visit the nieces, particularly on birthdays, we always give a gift.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I'm the aunt who doesn't give gifts. If I see a book or toy I know the kids would *love* I send it, regardless of date. I also don't do Christmas presents. That said, I have 8 nieces and nephews. I don't expect, nor would I want, my siblings to send me anything for holidays. At some point, with so many people, it becomes ridiculous to get things for everyone and receive things from everyone. It sounds like your family is pretty big as well, and perhaps they've realized there's just no point anymore in "stuff".

The absolute BEST thing that happens is when we all get together and someone opens their house so we can all be together and cook and drink and enjoy the chaos for a day or two. No gifts required. Party size tortilla chips and case of wine, required.


+1 I'm the aunt who does the same thing. Also, my sister gets overwhelmed by the number of presents the kids get from other people, so she sees me not sending "more stuff" at bday and holiday as an additional gift to her. While the kids are too young to notice we don't send them things (other than occasional books, etc) I enjoy spending the extra $ on spoiling my sister. She works so hard raising those boys.
Anonymous
Is this an evangelical thing? I only ask because I was a guest and was the only one who brought a gift.
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